Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Who moved Christmas?

I'm in a tizzy. A frazzle. A PICKLED-TRAZZLE!!
For some inexplicable reason, I thought that Christmas was next Thursday.
NOPE -- It's Monday!!
I was counting on my Sweetness-free time (Sweetness, aka son#2, goes to his sitter on Mon/Tues mornings) to run around and do the last minute things - like shopping for Xmas dinner items, stocking stuffers, etc. To paraphrase the freshly departed Frank Romano, "HOLY CRAP!"
I'm a flexible sort of person, but I don't do quick change well. It'll take a couple of hours for my mind to grasp the situation, reschedule my to-do list, wrap my organizational & time-management skills around this self-inflicted SNAFU.
In addition - I forgot to put the garland on the Christmas Tree. It must go on right after the lights because if you do it at the end, you cover all the pretty baubles. My oversite disturbs me to the point that I don't want to even look at the sad, undressed tree (as perfect as it is), but am too lazy to de-ball it in order to apply the gold fuzzy garlands. And I can't find the beautiful ribbon I bought last year to decorate the pine garlands on the banisters. AND, we accidentally used the indoor, thick, studded-with-faux-pinecones garland on the pillar outside which left us with the cheap, thin, fakish, Walmart pine garlands for the banisters. It just looks sad.
Could this get any worse?
Yes, it could. Last year I accidently cooked the turkey upside down. Couldn't figure out why the bloody bird looked so deformed whilst cooking. When I went to slice into the breast, I immediately hit bone and thought I got a Kate Moss turkey!! It eventually dawned on me that I was slicing into the back - hence no meat. I was so embarrassed, it almost ruined my whole day. Luckily, my killer sweet potato casserole (no marshmallows - YUK!) saved the meal.
This year I'm serving ham. There's no top and bottom, is there? Oh hell, maybe I'll order Chinese.


Amy Ruttan said...

LOL! You are so funny! This is my first year cooking turkey ... I was going to last year but I had an 11lb child inside of me (I was 8 mos). I could barely get up out of the recliner to eat at the table.

Your tree is beautiful. Don't sweat the small stuff. Honestly, I can't believe I just told you that when I get the exact same way. So much to do ....

Anonymous said...

Gorgeous tree! :) And I'm LMAO @ "Kate Moss turkey"... :-D

Anonymous said...

ok .. that was funny!