Tuesday, November 27, 2007

It ain't no optical illusion...

Male readers of this blog, you are excused. Go.

TMI Alert:
So I went to the salon today - not my usual place - to get some general maintainance done for the holidays. The spa woman, a stranger to me, waxes my eyebrows then says to me: "Shall I do your upper lip?"
Upper lip?? OMG, why would I do such a thing?
"Why?" says me, suspiciously. "Do I need it?"
And she gives me That Look: eyebrows raised, half-smile, slight shrug of the shoulders. The Look to make me feel like an idiot for even asking.
And what she's basically saying with That Look is that for the past 40 years I've been walking around with a mustache.

Where are my friends?
My trusted homies?
My regular spa lady????
My MOTHER who's ALWAYS been brutally honest about the size of my ass so why wouldn't she tell me about my Hairy Lip?
Have they all let me down? Allowed me to walk around looking like a grandma from the old-country?
Look at the picture of me on the sidebar. Do you see it? It's SO OBVIOUS now that I'm looking... *shame*

What else are they keeping from me?
Bad breath?
OMG - maybe my writing SUCKS and they're not telling me about that either!

I'm a whiskered, foul breathed HACK...

BTW - that lip thing REALLY hurts.


Christine d'Abo said...


You have no lip hair, darling. None...well I guess especially now. But I never saw it before.

*checks herself in the mirrior*

And hurts how much...

Wylie Kinson said...

Muchly. Full body flinch.

Red Garnier said...

ROFLMAO! Wylie I think the lady just wanted to charge more, you think? :D You can't be anything but perfect!

Amy Ruttan said...

Ok I see you every month, I sit next to you, I sit across from you ... you don't have lip hair. She was looking for more money.

YOU DO NOT HAVE LIP HAIR. I do but you don't.

I found a chin hair the other day, it was long, I'm not even 30.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Oh dear -- you're making me think of the time I sat down in front of my mom's hugely magnified make-up mirror that shows every single flippin pore on a person's face roughly the size of craters on the moon... oh, the pain, the pain!

Don't worry -- I see no hint whatsoever of lip hair in your picture. And I am sure that you do not have bad breath, and your writing most certainly does not suck, it rocks! So that makes you, beyond any doubt, a non-whiskered, fresh-breathed, excellent writer. :-)

Leah Braemel said...

LOL, I was about to say what Amy already did about the chin hair. Been there, done that on the lip thing (had it done just before I flew to Dallas) Haven't been back to the salon since - too afraid. You're right. Ouch!

Tempest Knight said...

Uh... sorry, I didn't notice your mustache. I was paying attention to your beard. Hahaha!

You cwazy chick! I'm sure the woman was just looking to make some extra $$$. Maybe because it's Yuletide, and she needs the money for her presents.

Anonymous said...

LMAO. I had the exact same experience this year. I let her wax it and I did it a couple more times, but stopped. It hurts like heck and my lip hair is too light for severe pain.

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