Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Bags and bags of pine needles

Pop over to Six Degrees of Sexy, where Christine d'Abo, who, btw, was just awarded a JERR 5 Star Silver Star Award for her latest short story Chasing Phoenix (woot woot), is chatting about story arcs.

And under that post, you'll see Red Garnier's HOT-HOT HOLY SMOKIN' HOT new cover for I Take Thee, which is coming soon from Liquid Silver Books.

HELLO to Victoria Krain (who commented on the cartoon below) who we haven't seen for months and months and months -- her last blogpost was May 2007!! She recently gave birth to a gorgeous little girl, so we graciously excused her from the blog world, but now that she's back, we expect her blog to get up and running again!!

How many needles are on a Christmas tree?

I can now answer this with some authority: A 7 foot tree has exactly 4 1/2 plastic grocery bags of needles.

How do I know this?

I took down my tree last week and every time I touched an ornament, the branch supporting it shed every single one of its sharp pointy leaves.


Because *SOMEONE neglected to water it since Christmas, and *SOMEONE forgot to close the heating vent behind the tree -- so for 2 weeks that poor little evergreen was blasted by warm air, sat in direct sunlight in the living room window, and thirsted.

And yes, the *SOMEONE was me *blush*

So that same *SOMEONE, after dragging out the naked tree, was left with a mountain of needles on the living room floor-- hardwood (thank GOD it wasn't carpet) -- to clean up. The cats thought it was hilarious -- like two kids jumping in leaves, those cats took running leaps through the mountain until it was scattered far and wide -- while I yelled, chased and swept as fast as I could.

The tree then sat on the side of the road waiting for pick-up. What the neighbors must have thought, I can't imagine. Their still-green trees, the occasional piece of tinsel shining in the sunlight, next to my brown heap of leafless twigs.

I may have to move.

I still have some Christmasy bits and bobs about - a few candle holders, some of the kid's artwork - that I MUST get to this week.

How about you? All un-decorated?

*but I will blame my hubby for reasons of self-preservation :)


Red Garnier said...

Yes, all undecorated, THANK GOD!

And hello Victoria! ;)

Where have you stuck your head in Wylie? I'm missing you. Drop me a bone, ruff! ;)

Karen Erickson said...

We haven't had a "real" tree in years. We bought a fake back in 01 and though I miss the fresh pine smell, I don't miss all the dang needles.

Of course, we still get needles with the fake one. And sometimes the lights short out when you touch the tree but hey, no prob! LMAO


Vicky said...

LMAO!!! OMG!!! I totally pictured it all... and now I can't get it out of my head!!! Next time I see you all I'll be able to think of is cats jumping into twigs and you running around trying to get some order! Seriously I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!

Trust me... it is so good to be back! Thanks for the warm welcome... I missed you very much!

Now that all the christmas stuff is put away... I feel like my house is empty! :) Christmas is Way too short... and too long at the same time. Know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

LOLOL -- I can't quit giggling at the image in my head of your kitties playing in the pine needles! :-D

Wylie Kinson said...

TL - oh sure, funny imagining it. Try living it!! ;)

Vicky - I totally get that. Yes.

Red - Life. What can I say? ;)

Karen - we had a fake tree for years when living in Bermuda (imported from Canada, they were REALLY expensive!!) but when we moved back to the great white north, I VOWED I'd never have a faker again.
Yup... rethinking that one ;)

Leah Braemel said...

LMAO Wylie - you're so lucky that wasn't on a carpet, you'd be picking pine needles out by hand for months to come.

My mother always said that it was bad luck to have Christmas decorations up after the twelfth day of Christmas - which is January 6th, so I'm pretty anal about getting them down by then. So ours were all down by the fifth. Except that I suddenly realized that one ornament - a hand embroidered snowflake is hanging from a wind chime on my patio doors. Maybe I can pretend it's not a Christmas decoration?

Wylie Kinson said...

Hi Leah -
We always kept our Christmas stuff up until January 7th, which is Ukrainian (orthodox) Christmas. We didn't get extra gifts, but did have a big family feast.
So I don't feel the pressure...