In case you were wondering - hey, "where'd she go?" -- I just gotta say, after I wrote the last post on my adoption dilemma, I needed some emotional distance. I really had no idea how deep this issue would affect me.
(Or maybe the Christmas Season is too sentimental a time for me? LOL)
I guess because I have such a great family and wonderful life, I've always sort of taken my adoption in stride, never dwelled, never wallowed in the "omg - I was rejected as a baby" crap, but WOW -- I'm a bit of a mess over this.
That said, I really appreciate all who commented. Your wisdom and caring, your hugs and advice, your stories (thanks Julia-the other perspective was eye-opening) made me think, consider, and search deep for how much of this I want/can invest of myself. You all made such good points and if/when I decide to take a next step, I'll keep you posted :)
Merry Christmas to all my friends in the blogosphere, and a happy, healthy, prosperous and productive 2010.