Sunday, January 24, 2010

Can we bill the 11 million to the Panty Bomber?

I've been reading a lot (fact-based and op-eds) about the new airport screening procedures and what an even bigger nightmare flying has become in the wake of the PantyBomber.

*author note: you can call him the Underwear Bomber if you like, but I'm stickin' with Panty because it sounds more idiotic. And what kind of IDIOT sticks explosives next to his dick... What was he going to do with the 72 sacrificial virgins he undoubtably was promised? Sing soprano to them?*

It's a scary world we live in. Granted. But it's pissing me off that travelling by airplane has become such a freaking nightmare that I'd rather just not go anyplace.
I used to be that girl who would plan her next trip before this one was finished. I read travel magazines, saved air miles, even strategically moved closer to the airport (weird but true!)

Now? The thought of the lines, the body scanners (creepy!!) the three-hour-before-your-flight arrival times, the no-ANYTHING on the plane (people who made these rules do not have children, clearly) and get this... they're even considering 'smart-belts' -- seat belts that lock you into your seat at the discretion of the airline employee. *horror-movie-girly-scream*

Thank the Gods, all of 'em, that I've seen the Louvre, the Tower of London, the canals of Venice and the Alps cause if they lock me in a seat, I won't need a panty bomb to blow up.

For the US bound flights, the Toronto airport has to buy 44 body scanners (creepy!!) at the cost of $250,000 per unit. That's 11 million dollars folks. Not to mention the cost to run them and monitor them as they each 2 man team at minimum, one to be present with the passenger while the one minute scan takes place, while the other is in a room someplace else, so that they can't actually see the face of the naked person at whom they're looking (Come on... that doesn't creep you out?)

ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS. Think of the Ontario arts programs that could pay for. Or what the Cancer Society could do with ELEVEN MILLION DOLLARS. Or how many Haitans could be fed, clothed and housed?

My question: Can we send the bill to the Panty Bomber? Or the Shoe Bomber? Or W?? ;)
Cause the airport taxes on my airline tickets often add to more than the cost of flying already and that's not right.

Why don't we simply put a police force on every flight -- hell the seats are half empty these days...
Or hey, lets get the flight attendants RCMP-trained (I hear they're good)
Or make us fly naked. (body scanners=creepy!)
Or in tight fitting Star Trek suits -- oh yeah!

Because some Idiot (see Panty Bomber, above) will find another way, like swallowing a bomb, or sticking it up his butt, for which the body scanner (creepy!!) is completely ineffective. As would be the naked flying...

Point is, if these terrorists want to bad enough, and get someone stupid enough (see Panty Bomber, above) it will get done.
Meanwhile, they've already terrorized the millions of people who tried to fly over the Christmas holidays. And beyond.
Meanwhile, I'm done flying.

Your thoughts?

**I wrote this before carry-on restrictions were lifted. As of Jan 20th, with the exception of creams, liquids, etc, carry-on luggage is back on**


Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Girlfriend, you've hit it on the head for me. I, too, used to travel like mad. I'm sitting here trying to pull together a trip to DC, in fact. 'cause it's close enough to drive.

Unless you have the same spring break and want to meet at a water park?

Leah Braemel said...

I don't like flying at the best of times, so this is just another reason to dislike it. Oh, don't get me wrong, I know you have to fly and I get on the plane anyway, but sheesh.

Want to drive together to Nashville this summer?

Wylie Kinson said...

Susan -- remember my last-summer obsession with getting an RV? I'm thinking it really is the way to go. I don't want to STOP travelling, I just have no urge to get there by air anymore (and I used to scoff at RVers! For shame.)

Yeah - meet you 1/2 way at the waterpark :)

Wylie Kinson said...

Leah - IF i go, I'll definitely favor driving.

Carmi said...

I think that's entirely the point - and you've expressed it better than I ever could. Simply put, terrorism's goal is to disrupt in any way it possibly can.

Succeeding in an attack is one effective disruption strategy, as it kills lots of people, generates huge headlines and foments widespread fear. Failing works, too, as it forces huge expenditures, drives equally huge inconvenience and also foments fear among many.

Either way, they win. Because even though pantybomber couldn't do the deed, they now all laugh at us from their caves, content in the knowledge that they've once again forced us to react, to spend, and to freak. Either one is good enough for these twisted excuses for human beings.

Julia Smith said...

'Or in tight fitting Star Trek suits -- oh yeah!'

LOL! Train, anyone?

Thomma Lyn said...

I haven't flown in years, and I'm not about to start now. Yup, body scanners = way creepy!

What Julia said. I love trains.