Counting the days 'til Lover Un-something-or-other

Just finished BOOK 50!! *Lover Unbound.

JR Ward - how do I love the, let me count the ways...
1. Wrath
2. Rhage
3. Zsadist
4. Butch
5. Vishous

*sigh*

No spoilers, but I must say - Ms Ward really pushed a few mainstream boundries this time, eh? Wonder if it shouldn't be shelved elsewhere in the bookstore (chuckle chuckle)
My only complaint? (just because, like so many reviewers I just HAVE to say something *g*)WTF was with all the ACRONYMS!
Became annoying. Especially when I couldn't figure a few of them...
And did anyone else pick up the spelling mistake on 212? Okay, now I'm being silly (but there is one!) and picky (it bothered me!) and I should just LET.IT.GO.
Right Robin?

Lover Unbound. Go ye of the humble masses and purchase this book. Then light a candle for Ms Ward to write faster. MUCH FASTER!!

I look forward to reading the new releases by RED GARNIER, AMY RUTTAN (her debut book with Ellora's Cave), and RENEE FIELD, my fellow SIX DEGREES OF SEXY babes. I'm so proud of you gals *hugs and kudos!* (but can't post the hyperlinks or cover pics on my dang laptop so shall leave the plugs until another day - forgive me :)

*Technically it was book 51, but I read Zannie Adams Complicated in the middle of it.

Blogging With the Sexies

I'm over at Six Degrees of Sexy today. Please stop by and see what I think about joining the club ;)

Poetry Train Monday

Wine in a box.

Supposed to eco-friendly but experts in the environmental field have speculated that the paper-plastic-metal combination tetra paks are too costly to recycle.

Wine in a box.

Eco-friendly or not, I don't think I can bring myself to do it.

Wine in a box.
Call me a snob but give me a bottle with a cork.

My poem for the Train:

Roses are red and so is my wine
the pop of a cork makes me feel fine

but wine in a box is a terrible sin

give me a bottle or I'm switchin' to gin

Wine in a box.

Discuss.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter, Book 49 in the 50 Book Challenge

Despite having an extremely active week with my house guests (and kids!), I did manage to get a bit of late-night reading done.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter probably won't make my top ten best books of all time, but I'm confident in recommending it as a VERY GOOD READ.
Author Kim Edwards does an amazing job with her characters, letting us into the very depths of their damaged souls, set between the story of parallel lives.

I'm going to attempt to give a brief summary - but you know this isn't my forte!

It's 1964 and Dr. David Henry and his wife Norah -- young and passionately in love -- are about to have their first child. A snowstorm prevents them from making it to the hospital on time, so they divert to David's clinic.

Norah gives birth to twins, but is told her daughter has died. Except she didn't.

Phoebe is born with Down's Syndrome and it being 1964, is not expected to live. David gives the infant to his nurse, Caroline Gill, - a singe woman who happens to be in love with the good doctor, -to take to an institution, an acceptable choice for someone back then. Except she doesn't.

Caroline, upon seeing the horrible institution, takes Phoebe herself and moves to another city.

Norah can't get over the loss of Phoebe, and she doesn't understand David's unwillingness to talk about her. The emotional husband-wife bond seems to have been replaced with a wall. She doesn't realize that he husband is burdened by guilt and secrets.

David lost his sister to a heart condition when they were children and the damage it did to his parents was unbearable. He was trying to spare Norah the horrible future that was inevitable with a Down's child. Always the protector, trying to save the world, David's decision to give up Phoebe turns out to the thread the unravels his marriage, his happiness and his dreams.

Meanwhile, Caroline gives high-functioning Phoebe a life of love and opportunity, though she too bears the secrets of Phoebe's birth, always worried that David will appear and take Phoebe away.

This book squeezed my heart from the beginning and didn't let go. There were no bad guys or good guys, just beautifully drawn human characters that were entirely relatable, making choices that they honestly thought were the right ones at the time.
I felt their pain, their regret and empathized with their situations.

Cop Out Friday and Overheard...

This is why you should never allow your husband to take telephone messages:


Overheard in the Kinson car ~ me, mother-in-law and Sweetness (aka 3 yr old)

Me: When we get home, Mommy's got to do some housework. You'll help me, won't you Sweetness?
Sweetness: (silent comtemplation)
Me: You will help Mommy clean up, won't you?
Sweetness: Why? Who's coming for a visit?
Me: (blushing madly)
M-I-L: (ROTFLHAO)

Thursday Thirteen #31 - Sexy Voices

Doing the Humpday Hunkday on Six Degrees of Sexy last week got me thinking about SEXY VOICES. I came up with about 6 on my own, but then threw the floor open for suggestions to my blog buddies (their names appear next to the sexy voices they nominated) asking who they'd like to have whisper in their ear after dark.
To make this work, you've got to completely ignore the physical - no looks, age or sex can be considered. The only qualification is voice.

THIRTEEN SEXY
"Whisper in my ear, baby"
VOICES

1. Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I feel like this guy is kissing my neck when he sings...
2. Chris Daughtry, singer
3. Michael Wincott, actor who played Sir Guy or Gisborne in Robin Hood (nominated by Carry Lofty "but why a spoon, cousin?")
4. Colin Firth (nominated by Amy, whom I'm not speaking to and she knows why)
   
5. Barry White (nominated by M.)
6. Sean Connery (nominated by Tempest Knight, Amy, Thomma Lyn, Red - he's a popular one! )
7. Rupert Everett (nominated by Red)
8. James Earl Jones (nominated by Leah)
9. Clive Owen (nominated by Julia)
10. Demi Moore
11. Gina Gershon (nominated by Sparky, who likes her smoky growl, and any [hot] woman with an Aussie accent. Rebecca James - are you listening?)
12. Kathleen Turner a la Joan Wilder (Amy's dad picked this one)
13. Brad Pitt - this was all me, but did you think I'd leave him of an anything sexy list? His best line: "I highly recommend fucking" Tristan, Legends of the Fall. And besides, I needed an excuse to post his pic ;)
    

Who did I miss? Leave your SEXY VOICE nomination in comments!

Just when I thought... And and informal poll.

With Sweetness (aka 3 yr old) now going to preschool 3 mornings per week, I seriously thought, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Mamma has some writin' time!!"
Boy was I wrong!

Four mornings, at 500 words per session, SHOULD have added up to at least 2000 words, right?
So how many have I written? Two. That's correct, TWO. The one and only morning I had free of other obligations, I ended up scratching and rewriting a scene I wasn't happy with, which gained a net total of TWO words to the story. Not even worth updating my progress bar.

Can I get a collective "Oh, Wylie! *groan*"? Or you can simply shake your head in disgust along with me...

Informal poll:
My in-laws are visiting for the week so in the interest of time (very little of it) I'm trying to prepare my Thursday Thirteen in advance. My topic this week is SEXY VOICES.
I have a few on my list already, but could really use some suggestions. Whose voice would you like to hear whispering in your ear in the dark. Please disregard looks/age/sex. Focus simply on VOICE. (Robin - I've already got Chad on the list, and Amy - of course Gerard Butler is there too!) Again, it can be male or female (Sparky - got any??).
Appreciate your help!

Christmas in September :o

TL tagged me for a Christmas meme and me being the Christmas lovin' fool that I am, I said "HO HO HO, I'll get right on it!"

What is your favorite Christmas gift? Giving someone else The Perfect Gift.

What is your best memory of Christmas? Hard to narrow down just one... The first with my husband (he gave me a beautiful ruby ring) and the first with my newborn son, who was all of 12 days old on the 25th of December.

Depending upon where you live, do you have a hot or cold Christmas? At present, it's a cold one. Having spent 18 years in the green, I do appreciate a White Christmas more.

Would you prefer to try the opposite weather at least just once? Been there, done that!

What do you prefer in a tree? Fake or real? REAL! Gotta be real.

What is your favorite carol? O Holy Night

What is your favorite Christmas dinner? Traditional roast turkey, lots of stuffing, mashed potatoes, cabbage rolls (that from the Ukrainian part of the family!) and cassava pie (from the Bermudian side).

Do you wear a Santa hat at Christmas? Absolutely. So does my son.

Have you ever seen Santa delivering gifts? Other than tracking him on the internet, no. It's all a big mystery!

I tag Leah, Red and SHG.

Sending you elsewhere.

If you read this blog, you'll know that one of my favorite new authors is Robin L. Rotham (Alien Overnight, Ellora's Cave 2007), so when Robin recommends a book, Wylie listens!

Robin's review of Complicated by Zannie Adams can be seen over at Six Degrees of Sexy. I've already bought my copy. What are you waiting for? Go!

Kathryn Krezonoski Knudsen 1966-2007

I had a sleepless night due to the fact that an old high-school chum of mine died under very bizarre 'it only happens to other people' circumstances.

Kathy Krezonoski and I were best buddies in junior high and a good part of high school. You know how it goes - we eventually drifted apart - but not before shaking up the all-boy gun-club at Westgate High by kicking some clay-pidgeon ass. The last time I saw her was about 14 years ago(gah! could it be that long?), standing outside the Safeway store in our old hometown having a smoke. We exchanged email addresses, but neither of us followed-up.

Anyway... long story short, Kathy was shot and killed by her boyfriend, who then turned the gun upon himself in a murder-suicide. I just can't believe it...

I had no idea that Kathryn had a blog (had I known...). And eerily prophetic, her tagline read: I Live My Life Hurting No One, I Wish No One Would Hurt Me.

Rest in peace, my friend.

POST #300

THIS IS MY 300th POST! I feel compelled to make it a long one, so y'all might want to grab a coffee...

I feel like an obsessed 13 year old girl for even bringing this up, but ding-dang world, just leave the wretched Brit Brit alone already. It's insulting that her VMA debacle, which took place FIVE freaking days ago, should still be in the top news stories. Please, Paris, Lyndsay, do something stupid so the spotlight can continue to arc through the moral wasteland of Hollywood junior celebs. Columnist TV Stevie sums it up best: http://yahoo.rogers.com/yahoo/spotlight/tv_stevie.jsp?id=20070912
That's it. No more. Not wasting a single 'nother moment of my life on feeling sorry for stupid girl.

Red Garnier posted a link to alpha heroes that's worth a read.

Congrats to Amy for making it past the 50 mark in the 50 Book Challenge! Woot!!
I ALMOST made it, but I chose last week to reread a book that's already on the 50 book list, so didn't think it would qualify.
I'm sure you're asking, WHY? and WHAT BOOK? :O)
I reread Robin L Rotham's Alien Overnight because after taking the Margie Lawson writing workshop last week, I wanted to use Robin's book as a study; to try and understand WHY I liked it so much. (Robin, my autographed copy of AO now has five different colored highlighters and lots of sidebar notes. Oh, and some kitten poop, but that's a whole 'nuther story!)
Oh sure, the sex was hot, that's a given, but I liked it because her character development was excellent, the dialogue was brilliant, and she wove in the perfect amount of emotional depth without muddying the waters with an overload of backstory or narrative.
AND, I picked up so many little subtleties that I missed the first time around.
I can probably count on one hand the books I've actually REread. Once is usually enough for me. That's a compliment, Ms Rotham! If you haven't read Alien Overnight yet, DO IT. That's an order :)

And confession time...
I'm reading a Kathleen Woodiwiss and am having one hell of a time trying to stay awake. I haven't read her in about 15 years (maybe longer) and I LOVED her books. LOVED THEM! But left her behind when I started to move away from the romance genre.
So with great eagerness, I stole The Reluctant Suitor from my sister's bookshelf and dove in.
To know me is to know that I DEVOUR books. A full-length novel is easily a 2 evening read. But holy watching paint dry, Batman, The Reluctant Suitor's chapter one has taken me 3 evenings to get through. That's 38 pages, people! I keep falling asleep, and that NEVER happens. I'm usually reluctant to close a book and only do it if my clock is chiming 2am!!
Let me summarize what happens in those 38 pages: 3 couples, fresh from riding, race into the house and find a stranger standing there, expect it's really the brother who's been off fighting Napolean.
That's it! Nothing more. There are pages of dialogue (complete with inner thoughts that provide endless backstory) between two people while the other 5 people (and the butler and two dogs) are what? Standing around? Groping each other?? On pause???
I feel wretched bashing the writing of someone recently deceased, and wretcheder about bashing a writer who practically defined 'the modern romance novel' but um, Margie Lawson really opened my eyes about a few things... Or perhaps I'm just jaded now.

So, Amy, at this rate, my 50th book could quite possibly take me all the way through December!

Unrelated to anything: When I posted my TT last week, the one about what I did about my sister's visit, a few people asked why I mentioned the purchase of a tv and what did that have to do with sister.
Well,... that's because the tv was a surprise for my dh and I needed my brother-in-law's advice on what to get cause he's into all that techie big-screen-for-watching-sporting-events stuff.

Attendance will be spotty over the next week as I have house guests arriving tomorrow for the week. Hubby is taking father-in-law hot-air ballooning! Something I'd love to do myself one day, but oh yeah - I suffer from panic attacks and would probably jump out of the dang basket as soon as we were 3 feet in the air. Damn I've got issues...

Hope y'all have a GRRRRREAT weekend!

Thursday Thirteen

I spent a ridiculous amount of time working on my HUNKS post for Six Degrees of Sexy today, so I'm foregoing my TT to do some 'real work'.

But I'll come visit yours if you leave your link - and hey, since you're here - why not go click HERE and check out Gerard Butler & co in kilts!

Men in Skirts, Fave summer read, Red goes from Blue to Pink

I'm blogging at Six Degrees of Sexy today - and it's hunks in kilts!
Men in skirts - hot or not? Discuss.

Ciar Cullen is looking for nominations for FAVE Summer Book. Go to her blog here, and show an author some love. You can only nominate one (big bummer, I know).

Red Garnier, who is known for her uber-alpha heroes, got an interesting comment on her story Spin It Again. It did score a 3.5 out of 5, which according to the review site legend means 'an excellent read' (of course it is!!), the reviewer challenged Red to write a more sensitive man, one who treats women with respect:

"This series focuses on male bad behavior in both stories and the first one comes close to rape. Spin It Again has a similar course, but in the end both stories have a love conquers all theme. There’s not a lot of dialogue but the third person writing is full of explanation and description. Red Garnier, I’m looking forward to you writing a story where a man respects all women. I would like to see the flip side of the coin."
Read full review HERE.

In response, a wonderfully supportive Red-Fan mocked up a short video that's absolutely hilarious and definitely turned our Red from blue to tickled pink!!

Brit Rant, Time Management, Movies (TIFF), Margie Lawson

Poor Britney. I was actually rooting for her -- she's had such a time of it lately and come on, she spent those horrible teen years practically developing before our very eyes which can't be easy -- so my fingers were crossed that her performance on the VMA's would be her moment to shine, to make people forget those awful crotch shots, to make people forget the hanger-on husband, to make people forget her questionable mothering skills.
Sad. Did you see it?
I was happily watching Test the Nation: Watch Your Language and turned the channel precisely at 9pm to see her do her thang...
Shouldn't have bothered. Girl lip-synched and went through the dance steps as though she'd only learned them 10 minutes prior. Apparently, her big act with Cris Angel was nixed by the Palms Casino for insurance purposes, which I suppose would throw a spanner in the works if that's what she'd been rehersing for the past week. Then again, you'd think something as critical as insurance would have been taken care of by the VMA people...

And though I don't want to go on and on about something I care very little about, I MUST speak to the 'she's fat' headlines that inundated the web yesterday. BLOODY HELL! That girl is NOT fat. NOT FAT! Toned and 'healthy', she has a bod that 99.9% of Americans WISH they had. But we're so used to seeing skeletal bobble-heads who faint at the mere thought of physical exertion, we don't know a realistic example of sexy when we see it.
Her wardrobe choice? Not so good... but that's not a weight issue, but one of class.

If you're like me and can never seem to find enough hours in the day/week to get even a portion of your TO-DO list accomplished, you should go check out Christine's time management post at Six Degrees of Sexy. Very useful stuff people! I, for one, am going to try this easy to use system in hopes I can somehow get what needs to be done, done.

Do you like movies?? Fellow writer Maureen McGowan is posting excellent coverage of her experiences with the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF). I'll be heading to theatres when some of her top recommends hit the big screens. She gave big love to 'Into the Wild', which is directed by Sean Penn, based on the book by Jon Krakauer, who also wrote 'Into Thin Air'. If you like movies - Maureen's blog is the place to be.

This past Saturday I had the opportunity to take a fabulous workshop entitled Empowering Your Characters' Emotions by Margie Lawson. If you're looking to improve your writing, I STRONGLY URGE you to consider one of her online courses. It was fantastic, and absolutely NOT directed at the romance genre - in fact, I can't think of one example she used that could be classified as romance. I'm just sayin', incase y'all think her courses are directed at romance writers only...
But I digress --
Much of my writing is instinctual, like making soup. You know the main ingredients, plot = broth, characters = meat, emotions = veggies, etc... put it in a pot and simmer. Every pot of soup I've ever made is unique. Sometimes it's delicious, sometimes bland, the odd occassion, too spicy.
After participating in Margie's workshop I feel like I've been handed a recipe. If not an EXACT how-to guide, then certainly an excellent guide to trouble shooting. Her unique editing system helps you how identify missing ingredients.

Sluggish Sunday

Taking it easy with the family today.
I leave you with this (yes, it's been around for a while, but it STILL cracks me right up!)

Bits and Bobs...

Bad bad Wylie...I completely forgot to mention that I read Divine Assistant by our own darling Red Garnier during my blogatus (blog + hiatus). The novella is part of the Torrid Tarot series at Ellora's Cave and I give it a very high recommend. I say with genuine honesty, that it's my favorite of hers to date.
*Note to self: come up with a more imaginative ratings system!!*
It's a delightful read-in-one-sitting romp with great lead characters, a lot of laughs, and, well it's a Red Garnier for heaven's sake, so you KNOW there's a lot of spicy hot passion packed in!
You can get your very own copy HERE.
Bravo amiga!

And fellow TRWer (Toronto Romance Writers) Amy Ruttan's book has hit the coming soon page at EC! Exciting times... I'll post a link once she gets a cover :) In the meantime - I've linked this entire paragraph to her brand new - just launched website. GO!

If you live in Canada, please don't forget to tune in to Test the Nation: Watch Your Language on Sunday, September 9th at 8:00pm on CBC television. Root for your fave team - the Romance Writers, of course!!
(I'm that empty chair in the front row. Well, someone had to take the pictures!)

You can now purchase Six Degrees of Sexy merchandise! Check out our lovely cover model wearing our designer tee. (Thanks Christine!)
Go to our store HERE - how 'bout that coffee mug? It's sure to keep your coffee HOT!
And speaking of Six Degrees - Christine did a fab interview with Cathryn Fox today, so please go check it out.

Sweetness starts preschool on Monday morning. I ADORE spending time with my little ones -- Lord knows, they make me laugh -- but people, three mornings per week translates to approximately 7 hours of free time for mother Wylie. Can I hear a WOOT?

Have a terrific weekend!

Thursday Thirteen #28 - A visit from my sister

My sister (let's call her *Karen) and brother-in-law (we'll call him *Stephen) spent a week with us recently, so I thought I'd share ~

13 Things I Did With My Sister

1. Indulged in pedicures. "You wan flowa? Fie dolla"
2. Shopped at IKEA (perhaps a better word would be frenzy)
3. Shopped at COSTCO (and spent hundreds of dollars on black licorice and fiber-licious cereal for my constipated sister)
4. Visited a petting zoo and got our hands slimed by llamas, goats, sheep, deer and a very friendly donkey. And yes, we did the Shrek "DonKey!" before each slice of apple was handed over.
5. Ate lots of Chinese food (and fiber cereal)
6. Bought an LCD HDTV (squeee!)
7. Played mini-golf, at which my 3 yr old boasted "I got a holy-one!"
8. Visited Tim Hortons approximately 18 times (in effort to help along my still-constipated sister by flushing her system with copious amounts of black coffee)
9. Spent a day at Ontario Place where we ~
-rode paddle boats
-enjoyed the Chinese Lantern exhibit
-played more mini-golf
-rode the BIG SLIDE
(and by 'spent the day' I really mean, 'half the day' because we had to wait so long for my sister to get out of the bathroom)
10. Played ENDLESSLY with the kittens (and by 'played' I really mean got grossed out by their smelly kitten farts and spent hours cleaning bits of litter from the floor)
11. Hung a new light in my dining room (and by 'new' I really mean old. It was my mother's, from the 1950's, and came to me via my sister's bedroom. Apparently her husband doesn't appreciate vintage)
12. Ordered dining room furniture
13. Aired out the house. Oops! That was after they left...
:)

My wonderful big sister. Always a pleasure, always a laugh, and did I mention that she folds my laundry, sweeps my floors and spoils my children :)

*Names may have been changed to protect the innocent.

Leave your name!

Exit Strategy

While on blog hiatus last week, I had the pleasure of reading Kelley Armstrong's Exit Strategy.
First, my standard disclaimer:
I'm not a book reviewer, just a reader. Go read Mrs. Giggles or Smart Bitches if you want the low-down on a book, blah blah blah...

Back to the topic. I've never read anything by Kelley before, but have brushed shoulders with her at Toronto Romance Writer meetings (she rocks, btw - smart, funny, confident and generous with her knowledge/experiences) so was eager to see what this New York Times Best Selling Author (squee, Kelley!) could produce. I purposely didn't start with her paranormal Otherworld series (saving those up), but with her 'try something new' book in which the heroine is a hit-man. Or would that be hit woman?

I loved it. I was expecting romance (she is a member of the TRW afterall!) but alas, aside from some serious electrical currents running between the heroine and two of the male characters, there were no nekkid mambos. Not that I was disappointed. Frankly, I would have been more disappointed had Nadia/Dee (her name/her alias) let down her guard by letting down her panties.
I'm not good at sum-ups, so I'll direct you HERE for the blurb and just give this book a very strong recommend. Now I'm off to email Kelley and BEG her to hurry up with the sequel...

Attention Writers!

Attention fellow writers --
Robin L. Rotham (Alien Overnight) has a brilliant piece on writer's craft today at 6 Degrees of Sexy. I urge you to spend a moment and absorb some of her fantastic insight on the writing process!

Me? A Blog Star?! Well Golly...

My most excellent buddy, critique partner and fellow cat-mom, Thomma Lyn of Tennessee Text Wrestling did me the honor of passing along a Blogging Star award.
Thanks, TL - I'm all a twitter!

This award is for bloggers who shine their light throughout the Blogosphere. Some do it with humor, others with creativity, and others with their kind and thoughtful natures. We all know more than a few of them so why not give them some recognition?

Here's what to do if you receive this:

• Proudly display it on your blog along with a link to who gave it to you.
• Mention that it originated here at Skittles' Place so I can follow its journey.
• Pass it on to any blogger(s) you think should have it.

I'd like to pass this shining star on to
1. Red Garnier - I met Red through Ellora's Cave (we shared the release date of our debut EC books) and I felt like I had an instant BFF. She's warm, funny, a very talented. I can't wait to meet her in person at next years RWA Nationals.
Her new website and blog will look perfect with a blogging star award!
2. Rhian - her humor, creativity and love of books and authors keeps me checking her site daily. If you haven't joined Rhi's tribe yet, what are you waiting for? Go!!
3. Amy & Christine - yes, I'm cheating and putting two people in spot 3, but honestly, these two amazing sister-friends totally rock. I had the pleasure of meeting both and competing along side them in Test the Nation: Know Your Language (which airs Sept 9th at 8pm on CBC!). They're two of the brightest stars in the blogosphere, so put your sunglasses on and check them out.

15 Hours and Counting, and Oh Nuts!

It just dawned on me that school starts tomorrow...
*guffaw*
Seriously, I've been counting down since July 3rd or thereabouts. Now that we're down to less than 15 hours, I'm practically vibrating with anticipation. My oldest son will begin grade 3 and my baby boy, who's not such a baby anymore *sniff*, will begin Montessori preschool 3 precious mornings per week. But young Sweetness doesn't begin until next week...
WAHOO!!
If I seem a tad excited it's because I'll have roughly 7 hours per week of dedicated writing time. SEVEN! That might not seem like much to you, but to me -- every minute of that will be golden. And quiet. And productive (hopefully).

My sister and brother-in-law left yesterday. We had such a lovely visit -- I was a very sad bear when they left, knowing that I probably won't see them again until next summer :(
I shall dedicate this week's TT to things we did on our visit.

Here's the latest conversation overheard in the Kinson household:

Sweetness (aka 3 yr old boy): My nuts hurt.
Light (aka 7 yr old boy): Do you have to go pee?
Sweetness: No. There's no pee in my nuts. They just got stuck in my willie.
Light: Pee doesn't come from your nuts.
Sweetness: ye-es!
Light: No it doesn't! Pee comes from inside your tummy. Nuts just hold the ingredients for when you and your wife want to have your own kid. When she goes to the hospital, your nuts crack open.
Me: (trying to quell my silent but hysterical laughter) Honey, I don't think they crack open exactly...
Light: Well of course not. They're not really nuts like peanuts. They're made of soft stuff, like boogers...

Welcome to my life.
I wonder what it would be like to have girls *takes a moment to imagine a quiet game of Barbie-dress-up...*