Thursday Thirteen #6 - IF I RULED THE WORLD (mwa-ha-ha!)

13 Things I would do IF I RULED THE WORLD! Our motto would be “Live and Let Live”… as long as you’re not hurting anyone. Everyone else, just go about your business and don’t judge others. Everyone is welcomed to their own religion/belief system, as long as they keep it to themselves. No going door-to-door or other recruitment schemes unless someone calls your head office and specifically asks for literature. No religious holidays (exception – see item #3). If you want a day off for Easter, Chanukah, Eid, Ramadan, etc, take vacation time. (Of course – everyone would get 6 weeks vacation time per year in MY world!) On a similar note, we ALL celebrate a week of Peacemas, no matter our religion, as a time of year to share our wealth, spread some love, celebrate our cultural diversity, and help retailers stay in the black. (This would replace the commercialized version of Christmas. Real Christians can still have Dec 25th to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or whatever.) Nobody works on Wednesdays. This would become a weekly Hump-Day Holiday, since we’ve gone and ruined Sunday. All offices, malls, schools, gov’t buildings, etc would be under mandatory closure. I’m even thinking of cutting internet service on this day. Note: This is not to replace ‘the sabbath’ blah blah blah,… but everyone needs to spend a little time relaxing, enjoying family, friends and generally doing nothing. Go outside and play, read a book, take your mother on a picnic, exercise, have FUN! In fact, let’s fine people who are caught at the office. Yeah… Laws. Yes, there would many, but they’d make sense. Any person ‘in authority’ -- police, priests, teachers, doctors, -- folks who we trust with our lives and with our children, would automatically get DOUBLE the sentence for their crimes (like a crooked cop, or a priest who molests a kid). And in My World, anyone who victimizes a child is immediately sentenced to death (and you know I’m not talking about a spanking!). Rapists would get mandatory 20 years (after castration, of course), and have to pay for their victims psychological counseling as long as they need it, even if it means becoming their personal slave. In order to bring a child into this world, you’d need a license. Okay – this sounds a bit draconian, but seriously, you need a license to own a dog, drive a car, go fishing, but anyone with a womb can have a child? Not in my world! The license would be granted after the parent/s — married/cohabitating/same-sex – doesn’t matter -- pass a simple, common-sense test about the basics of parenting. Not just anyone should have children. Yes, you could argue that it’s our right,… yada yada yada, but it’s not your right to then mistreat, neglect, and abandon your child either. A simple ‘parenting skills’ test (followed by classes for those who score low) would solve a lot of social problems. Everyone would get a complimentary paid day-off on their birthday. Gosh, if you can’t celebrate the fact that you’re born, who the hell will! Teachers, nurses, ERT’s, and _______ (go ahead, fill in your occupation!) would get paid more than baseball players because they make a difference in the world. A man who hits a little white ball with a stick doesn’t. One person, one vote. BUT… all persons must qualify to vote. That means you must pass a simple test to prove you know the basic difference between Liberal/Democratic, Socialist, Communist, Conservative/Republican. It’s astounding how many don’t! Also – you have to point to the capital of your country on a map. It’s astounding how many can’t! A woman’s right to abortion would be decided by her and her doctor and NOBODY ELSE. Feminine hygiene products would be free. As would all choices of birth control available to both men and women. No wars. No more sending 18 year old kids to die ‘defending our great nation, our freedom, our liberty!’ If two old men want to fight over borders, land, resources, etc… let’s give them both sticks and let ‘em duke it out. Or, it will be decided by the board game, RISK. All that money saved by not having wars would go into education. Knowledge is the key to so many problems. Just think – a world full of smart people! We’d cure diseases, make intelligent choices to stop/fix global warming, celebrate the arts, … Sadly, there wouldn’t be anyone left to appear on, or watch, Jerry Springer! Ahhh, if I ruled the world!! What would YOU do? Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Tagged by Vicky

Thanks for tagging me, Vicky! I had NO IDEA what to right about today. Okay -- that's not true. I went and saw Dreamgirls last night and I'm bursting with things to say about it. It'll wait until tomorrow...
Meanwhile, - here's the NAME tag:

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Wylie - (not really,... it's my writer persona, the creative side of me. The real me is just too boring for words!)

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name, plus izzle) WYLIZZLE. :)
(yo, yo, that's WY-lizzle to you, mo'f...)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three of your last) WKIN. Pronounced dubya-kin, otherwise sounds like the witchy religious of wiccan -- eeek!!!

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal) RED JAGUAR. Do I get a savvy male side-kick to help me create some sexual tension thereby making us the hottest detective team since Moonlighting went off the air?? huh, huh?

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, Street you live on): GAYLE BEST. No kidding!!

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, first 3 letters of mom’s maiden name) KINWYMAC. What planet am I from?

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (favorite color, favorite drink) RED PINOT NOIR. That's just silly!

8. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dad’s middle name, 1st letter of a sibling’s first name, last letter of your moms middle name) ATAACK. I used my REAL name, instead of my pen name -- and this is NO KIDDING what I got!!!

9. YOUR STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/body spray) But I don't use any of the above! So I opt my favorite food scent: CHOCOLATE

10. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father’s middle name) My mom (also Eastern European) has no middle name, so I'll use her first: VALENTINA MICHAEL. Hey - I like it!!

I have NO ONE to tag!! Y'all got to each other before I did... But if there's anyone else reading this that would like to play, please do and let me know in the comments!!

My Pirate Name

Since I have such a loser temperment, and since I'm in the middle of my pirate story, thought I'd offer this up:

My pirate name is:

Captain Anne Bonney

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

I AM NOT!

I just did a temperment quiz (nothing else to blog about today) and I'm so upset by the results!! I am NOT this kind of person!! I'm just having an off day with my answers, obviously...

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Seven Down . . .

Sometime late Saturday night, after having bitched about not being able to read or write, I picked up a book and trapped myself in a big tub of sudsy warm water.
Sometime on Sunday, between vacuuming and dusting, I finished Susan Mallery's Sizzling, and breezy comtemporary romance, bringing the total books read for the 50 book challenge to 7. Last night, after tucking Sweetness and Light (aka the kids) into bed -- very early! -- I picked up Christopher Moore's Lamb. I'm only about 40 pages in, but so far, so funny.
I love Monday mornings -- probably the only person on the planet, I know -- and here I sit with three whole hours to myself. The question is,... do I squeeze in a bit of writing this morning, or glean inspiration from Mr. Moore's engaging use of sarcasm? Hmmm...
Or maybe I'll go get a pedicure.
Or make brownies. Mmmmmmm...

Curiosity

Someplace in the dusty corners of my mind, I knew that Ellora's Cave wasn't just the name of an erotic romance e-publisher. Curiosity took over when the brain connections failed to dredge up any remnants of history, geography or social studies lessons . . . forcing me to turn to the goddess known as the almighty Google. Here's what I found:

(India) The Ellora caves total 34 in number and have been carved into the sides of a hill of basalt. The Ellora caves are regarded as the finest specimen of cave-temple architecture anywhere in the world. The 12 caves to the south are Buddhist (AD 600-800), 17 in the centre belong to Hinduism (AD 900) and 5 caves to the north are dedicated to Jainism (AD 800-1000). The sculptures in the Buddhist caves are an attempt at depicting the nobility, grace and serenity inherent in the Buddha. The caves belonging to Hinduism are dedicated to Vishwakarma, the patron saint of Indian craftsmen. The Vishvakarma cave also has Buddha placed in the stupa. Its two-storied structure sports a colorful pageant of dwarfs, dancing and making music. The caves of Ajanta and Ellora are a marvel of rock art forms in caves. A visit to the caves would be an enchanting experience.

Isn't that interesting? I wonder if the good people of India know about the erotic name-sake??

Empty Head Syndrome

I can't read. I can't write.

Let's deal with the 'read' part first.
If you've been keeping track, you'll know that I finished Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides two nights ago, and you'll already know how I felt about that book. Here's the problem: When you read a REALLY GREAT book, you want it to stay with you awhile. At least I do. You want the characters to live on, if only in your head, for as long as the memory stays strong.
At the same time, I'm feeling the pressure of the 50 book challenge. The stack of paperbacks on my TBR shelf are calling. I even picked up two or three, struggled through the first few pages and discarded them in disgust. They just can't compare to the richness and depth of Middlesex! I also don't really want the Middlesex folks to leave me just yet and once I'm into another novel, - poof! It's all over for Desdemona, Callie, et al.

Let's move to the 'write' part.
Scanning the old day planner at the beginning of the month, I quickly realized that I wasn't going to get much writing done. Too many things happening -- kids out of school, writing course, Destiny by Design edits, TRW newsletter, appointments filling up my 'available time', etc. Rather than get my knickers in a knot about the time that I don't have, I made a conscious decision to let things ride for a bit. So here I am with a few hours to kill and I absolutely cannot find my focus!! I can't decide whether to ride the wave of the sale of Destiny by Design and write another erotic romance (I've so many ideas!!), or if I should concentrate on my novel WIP. Or should I revisit the pirate WIP (which I've abandoned).

Ah, hell. I'm going to clean the bathroom. . .

Thursday Thirteen #5 - Things That Really IRK Me.

Thirteen Things That Really Irk Me People who complain loudly in lines at the movie theatre or the coffee shop -- like the clerk who makes minimum wage deserves that kind of abuse. When you book a flight ages in advance to ensure you get an aisle seat and they change your assignment at the counter. GRRRR The dude who pulls up beside/behind/infront of me at a red light with music so loud that the bass is throwing off my heartbeat. People who are mean to others to get a laugh or look cool. (refer to my earlier American Idol rant for complete irk-factor) Childless drivers who park in the "For caregivers with infants/small children" spots at the mall and grocery store. (You know who you are, Bottle-Blonde Woman With The Leopard Jacket!!) Same applies to those who park unnecessarily in handicapped spots. Cellphone chatter in a movie theatre, or any chatter once the movie has started (okay during credits, but not during dialogue and definitely NOT during the action or kissy bits!) People who write in library books. People who don't celebrate certain holidays for really lame-o reasons. Like my friend's husband who doesn't believe in Valentine's Day because "we should show our love to our spouses every day". Well that's fine, buddy, if you send your wife chocolates and roses everyday!! Mine doesn't -- so I expect a nice card! And on that note -- people who eschew New Years Resolutions because they just set you up to fail'. Yeah... there's a bit of a defeatest attitude! If you don't set some goals, you won't succeed anyway. Isn't it better to try something rather than nothing at all? Or perhaps you're perfect already? Everyone has room for a little bit of improvement and those Jan 1st resolutions offer the perfect opportunity to admit that we're not perfect -- let's try to be better this year... Over-the-top get-a-room public displays of affection. A kiss, hug, hand-holding, longing stares - these are okay, but please don't make me watch you grope each other in the food court! Paris Hilton. *People who climb Mount Everest because it's there. I read John Krakaurer's non-fiction book 'Into Thin Air'- and enjoyed it immensely, I should add - but when the death rate is 1 in 4, what would possess a guy to leave his pregnant wife to climb a mountain. (incase you're wondering - he died) By the way -- this includes all other 'extreme' sports where the death rate is higher than the chances of getting a correct order at a drive-thru. (*note to Amy - I wrote this list prior to your posts about Everest - sorry!! Photographers that get a kick out of sticking they're long lenses under celebrity skirts. The girls are getting hounded for going pantiless but what about the perverted bastard laying on the ground aiming for a perfect crotch shot. Ewwww. God knows - I could go on!! :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens!




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Goodbye Middlesex - It was great reading you!

I just turned the last page of Middlesex. Of course, I saw it coming,...
the last 100 pages
the last 20 pages
the last 5 pages ...
part of me desperately wished that I'd misread the final page number (I always check page numbers before starting a book - call me anal!) and another chapter would be magically tacked on.
I did not want to let these people go! I'm sad. I miss Cal -- what happened to you Cal? Are you with Julie???

I don't want to pick up another book because I don't want these wonderful characters to leave my headspace. Oh, woe . . .

Just a quickie

It snowed here, finally, and my kids are loving it! And so am I!! The snow began last week but I was hesitant to celebrate because so far this winter, whatever fell from heavens melted in a day. Hurray -- last week's snowfall is still on the ground and it's been slowly piling up all week. Hubby and I took Sweetness & Light tobagganing and "weeeeeeeeeeeee", I went down the hill, too!! I felt about 8 years old.

I'm so into this book - Middlesex by Jefferey Euginides -- that I've neglected my blog, my writing, my kids, my husband, my sleep...
I'm not sure I would have picked it out of a bin at Chapters (though, technically, I did pick it out of a bin at Costco!!), because the blurb really doesn't do it for me. It's basically about a guy named Cal, a hermaphrodite, who narrates the story of the life of his grandparents, their immigration from Greece (insert Greek/Turk politics/wars/social strife), then moves onto the life of his parents, then his birth as a girl.... (I have to stop now because I'm only 1/2 thru the book).
If I hadn't heard a bit of buzz, if it hadn't won the Pulitzer, if it hadn't been an obscenely low price, I would have passed.
Thank goodness for small miracles! The prose is beautiful, the characters well-rounded, sympathetic and rich. I can almost feel Cal's grandmother's thick braids.
This is not a fast action story to skim, but a savour-every-word piece of art. I've reread several passages, just to wrap my head around the imagery.
Middlesex hasn't kept me up until the wee hours flipping pages madly, but it has kept me up at night thinking about the characters, their inner strength and struggles, and how so many in the world have similar stories to tell -- yet by and large, we, the general populace, remain happily ignorant of these situations (that isn't a jibe, just the truth).
Like Wallace Stegner's Angle of Repose, this one is going to stick with me a long time. . .

Whatcha Reading Meme

I was tagged by Amy.
Here are the instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book to you;
2. Open to page 123, look down to the 5th sentence;
3. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog;
4. Include the title and the author's name;
5. Tag 3 people.

The nearest book to me is the one I just started. I'm not on page 123 yet so I'm a bit miffed at being forced to read ahead (this is like cheating!!). But for the sake of the meme, ...


The novel is Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides - Pulitzer Prize winner (so it must be good, right?!)

"The only way my father could think of to instill in me a sense of my heritage was to take me to dubbed Italian versions of the ancient Greek myths. And so, every week, we saw Hercules slaying the Nemean lion, or stealing the girdle of the Amazons ("That's some girdle, eh Callie?"), or being thrown gratuitously into snake pits without textual support. But our favorite was the Minotaur..."

I'm tagging Brad, George and Matt.
Oh darn... I don't have their emails, so I'll just keep my fingers crossed that they read my blog.

Thanks, Amy -- that was a fun one!!

Hold on,... I'm ranting!

I must pipe up about these accusations that the American Idol judges have gone too far. Have they? YES! If you saw how they treated the fellow with the boogly eyes -- they were very rude and pointed out a physical issue that wasn't necessarily under the man's control. Simon Cowell compared him to a jungle animal - a bush baby, for heaven's sake! Simon called another very tall woman a giraffe! AND gave a heavy set man who was obviously mentally challenged a jibe about the size of his pants. Paula & Randy chuckled along. Childish.
This bruhaha has brought to light an interesting type of discrimination that's been niggling me for years. We judge people on appearances. Big news, eh!

In the case of American Idol and a few other reality shows, Hollywood has fausted their ridiculous physical standards on the average American (or fill in your own nationality) by assuming that we all should have perfect teeth, hair, height, nose, boobs, legs, body weight etc... This is an ideal completely unattainable by us 'average folk' (or we'd all be in bloody LaLaLand!) yet we're made to feel ashamed by it. Unworthy. Less.
We accept the unobvious flaws (smoking, drugs, sexual addictions, chronic divorces/cheating, chronic diva/bastard behavious, whatever...) -- or we're meant to feel sorry and root for them when they enter drug & alcohol rehab.
If they can't read, or they're beaten by their spouses because they don't have the balls to leave, miscarried a baby, we don't make fun of them. That would be awful!
Well - it's NOT OKAY to point out someone's physical flaws.
It's NOT OKAY to castigate a person because they don't have perfect teeth, or a full head of hair, or have the ideal body image, etc.
Can you imagine if the AI judges knew that Fantasia Barrino couldn't read? What if society forced illiterate people to wear arm badges identifying their 'ignorant' status. Would Simon, Paula & Randy have mocked her and sent her away? Would they have chided her in the audition, made her feel horrible about herself, humiliated her in front of her family, her child, and an audience of millions?
How about Katherine MacPherson's bulimia? Would they ridicule her for sticking her fingers down her throat?
Yet it was okay to make a crack about Mandisa needing a bigger stage? Nah-ah!!
Brainflash -- Maybe we should have everyone's IQ tattooed to their foreheads. Yah!! Then, when foolish people like S, P, & R make nasty comments about someone's large eyes, we can feel sorry for them because we can see that they're intellectually challenged. Awwww...

Enough is enough! We can't begin to treat people with 'visual' imperfections like plague victims. It's hurtful, it's wrong, it's uncivilized and dehumanizing. Young people and families watch that show -- what message are we sending?
Come on, people -- we've got to spread a little love!

PS - I'm boycotting AI this year (like they care). Phtooey!

Hers to Desire, Menopause, Spa-ahhh

I finished Margaret Moore's Hers To Desire late, late, late last night and I must say it was an enjoyable read! (Take that, Amy!!)
I haven't read a medieval romance in years - YEARS, so it was a pleasant change of pace. Having attended Margaret's lecture at a recent Toronto Romance Writer's meeting, I actually had her voice in my head as I was reading -- which was kinda creepy -- but didn't deter from my enjoyment. Thankfully!
Very early in the book, it was quite clear that Hers to Desire was part of a series, as references to past adventures with other characters were referenced and relationships were already established between most of the people involved. It was a little like joining a circle of friends for the first time and hearing them refer to past experiences together! I was jealous, but loved them none-the-less!

I've been meaning to talk about my birthday-present weekend but as Sweetness (aka younger son) is napping-no-more, I just haven't had time. Let me say this:
Menopause Out Loud is perhaps the funniest thing on stage I've ever seen. Four women, representing stereo-typical figures -- the career power woman, farm-state housewife, earth mother and aging movie star -- meet in the lingerie dept at Bloomingdales. They sing and dance for about 90 minutes, sharing their tales from 'the other side of 50'. The songs are all re-worked baby-boomer era hits, so every tune is familiar.
Though I'm not of an age to experience 'the change' (yet!), I completely understood the references and laughed out loud with the rest of the ladies in the audience. It seems menopause and pregnancy share many of the same symptoms, so many of the experiences were very relatable! After an hour of giggling, gaffawing, chortling and chuckling, I didn't know what to do with my laughter. It wanted to explode out of me. I slapped my legs, held my sides, my cheeks hurt from smiling and I was exhausted after the show.
If it's playing in your area -- GO SEE IT. No matter your age. And take all your girlfriends. And your mother. Hell - take your mother-in-law! The few lucky men in the audience seemed to appreciate the humor as well, so it's certainly not gender restricted (but many men wouldn't see it on principle, I'm sure. Their loss!)

The next day, my friend and I did a day at the Nouvelle Maria Day Spa in the Royal King Edward Hotel in Toronto. Bliss! Facial, massage, manicure, pedicure, . . .
I'm not going to give the details, because that would just be bragging!!! Let's just say that turning 40 was totally worth it ;)

Thursday Thirteen #4 - What I Miss About Bermuda

Thirteen Things I miss about BERMUDA The sand on Horseshoe Beach – the pink sand gets its color from millions of tiny crushed skeletons of the formanifera coral Scuba diving on the reefs and shipwrecks, of which there are many, many! Bermuda boasts the northern most tropical reef system in the world, and though it's not as colorful as the Pacific reefs, it's worth seeing -- from under the surface. The Bermuda Aquarium, Museum & Zoo – small but excellent, my kids loved going at least once a week The wahoo at the Black Horse Tavern (a local eatery, worth the rude service) The view of a winter sunset off of Church Bay (blinding to drive into, but lovely to watch) Walking the railway trail on North Shore to catch the summer sunset ALWAYS seeing friends and familiar faces at Lindo’s Family Market (usually when I've not put on makeup!) Where else can you see grown men, businessmen, in shorts & kneesocks, riding mopeds! Seeing pods of humpback whales cruise the waters off the south shore in April Flying kites on Good Friday Making/eating Cassava pie at Christmas and Easter (this is a savory pie, not a sweet. TONS of cals!) Sunday brunching - Bermudians take this very seriously, dress to the nines and eat for hours. Pre-hurricane shopping – call me crazy, but I loved the frantic panic-shopping we all did for water, plywood, candles, batteries, etc… mostly for nothing because the hurricanes usually missed us. But there was this amazing sense of one-ness. No racial tension, no political agenda,… just water and candles! Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


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Blog Block and Good Apples

I've got blog-block. This is closely related to writers block, except worse, because you don't have to stay on topic, true to character or come up with an action/dialogue/sex scene. You just have to ramble! How can this be so hard?
Instead, I'm posting a witty slice of wisdom that my friend Donna (Hi Donna! *waving*) sent me. By the way - Donna doesn't read my blog, so the shout-out was for naught.

Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach way up there for the good ones because they're frightened of falling and hurting themselves. Instead, they sometimes pick the apples up from the ground that aren't so good, but easy. The apples at the top of the tree think there's something wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top.
Now men . . . men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Memories of Bermuda ...

I truly meant to finish yesterday's post about 'In the Company of the Courtesan' but went to bed at 6pm with a raging headache. I'm feeling much better today despite being wide awake since 5am.
If I've said it once,... I'm not a book review site, blah de blah blah blah, so I shant bore you with a synopsis, etc... but if you enjoy history, a fictional story set in a factual time, with factual politics, geography and socio-economic realities, read Sarah Dunant. Her descriptions of Venice in the 1520's-30's were rich with imagery. I swear I could smell the stench of the canals as I read!

As I took to my boudoir so early, I missed the Golden Globes for the first time in my adult history. I'm crushed!! Brangelina, king and queen of Tinseltown were in attendance and I missed it! Borat won, and I missed it! Helen Mirrin, Babel, Scorcese,... and I missed it!! Reading about it on yahoo news did nothing for me. Seeing photos of the gorgeous gowns left me hankering for a twirl, a turn, a flash of flesh! By now you've figured out my secret -- I'm an awards show junkie. But not just any awards!! Oh gosh, no. Like, the People's Choice Awards are the trailer-park trash of awards shows, as are the Daytime Emmy's (sorry Oprah).
I only break out the popcorn and pj's for the Globes, Oscars and Emmy's - in that order.
Some years, the Grammy's. Never the AMA's or CMA's (yawn).

Last night's headache also put me way behind on doing this month's edition of the Toronto Romance Writers newsletter. So now I panic!
I started it this morning, but got sidetracked doing my 7 year-old's school project (bad mother!).
It's about his/our heritage so naturally Bermuda was a big part of the topic. All those pics I dug up made me feel slightly home-sick. I'm posting a picture just so y'all can feel homesick with me...

Just put down Sarah Dunant's 'In the Company of the Courtesan' (down three in the 50 book challenge!) Very well written story about a successful prostitute in Venice in the 1520's-30's. What intrigued me so was that the narrator of the story was her exotic companion (aka her pimp), a dwarf named Bucino.
More on this later. I have to make Sweetness some toast ...

The 50 Book Challenge

Jana Hanson read 50 books in 2006 and is set to repeat the challenge in '07. I've decided to join her! Anyone else up for the challenge?
I'm already down two: Next by Michael Crichton and Invisible Touch by Summer Devon.
Forty-eight more to go,... but my TBR pile is so blinking high, I don't think I'll have a problem!!
I'll keep a list in my sidebar.

I'm off for the weekend! Going to Toronto for a night in a posh hotel, a show and a day at the spa. Can't wait to be entertained and pampered.
This was a gift from my wonderful hubby for my birthday. What a guy :) !!

Thursday Thirteen #3 - What I Wanted To Be

Thirteen Things I Wanted To Be When I Grew Up Detective - Nancy Drew was my hero Movie Star - just like Ginger from Gilligan's Island Fonzie's Girlfriend - technically not a career, but Ayyyyy! Wonder Woman - I thought there really was an island of super women Archeologist - my mother said absolutely not, because my nails would get dirty. Doctor - surgeon, to be exact Marine Biologist - come on, who wouldn't wanna be?! Airline Pilot - I still harbor fantasies of flying a plane, but sadly, I'm claustrophobic and cockpits are really small Kindergarten Teacher - I love kids, but not 24 of them for 6 hours a day Writer - yes, even when I was 11 I 'aspired' Resort Owner - specifically on Fantasy Island Singer - then I heard a tape recording of myself. OUCH! Spy - I was in charge of the uber-hush-hush organization called the A.S.I.A. (Amelia Street Intellignce Agency). And now I have to kill you... Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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A matter of POV

I had a lot of fun with last Thursday's Thirteen of fun/cool/interesting things I've experienced in my 29 (ahem) years (or so) on this planet. My original list was actually much longer but I cut it down to what I thought made me interesting to other people. For example, by far the coolest thing I ever experienced was pregnancy and childbirth (not to say it wasn't painful!!), but lots of folks go through this, so I cut it from my list. Other cuts included finding my soul mate, watching kittens being born, seeing Niagara Falls for the first time, riding Space Mountain...
What caught my attention were the 'wow' comments I received -- because the thing is, I don't find my life any more or less interesting than anyone else I've met and I bet if you were to make your own list, you'd find way more than 13 experiences that others think are cool, too. They just don't seem interesting because you're the one doing them.

To prove my point, here are some kick-ass things that my friends & acquaintances can brag about:

• My friend TL shot a rattler and cooked it up for dinner! How neat is that! And she rides a hawg!!
  
• Amy & Christine completed NANO. I'm in awe... I can barely put down 600 words. They work/have kids, or both, and still managed to pull off the demanding feat. Kudos.
• My buddy Suzanne gave birth naturally to all three of her 10lb + children (and by natural, I mean NO drugs). I tried this with child #1 and when it came time to birth #2, I had the anesthesiologist meet me in the dang parking lot with the epidural.
• My hubby parachuted. Yet I'm afraid to fly!
• My friend Leslie parachuted with a broken arm. She broke her arm playing underwater hockey - with scuba equipment. Not something I would EVER do, but admire her moxie.
• The same Leslie goes ice-diving in northern Canadian lakes in the middle of blinking winter!!! Some might question her sanity... I admire the hell out of her.
• My sis-in-law worked for this uber-rich mega-multi-billionaire who flew his staff to his home in the Bahamas for lunch and an afternoon of jet-skiing. En-vy!
• My friend Stan beat cancer last year. Go Stan!!
• My friend Stacey's mother and her young son both went through cancer treatments last year. I'm happy for mom and son have so far beaten it, but it's Stacey I admire for being a solid rock through the whole thing.
• My friend Victor started his own charity, 'Seconds to Give' that provides clothing and books to poor villages in the Philipines. Amazing guy.
• My other sis-in-law is an equestrian show-jumper.
• Richard composes music and did the soundtrack for a Hollywood movie.
• I have a distant cousin who is a stuntman!!
• Yvona & Steve know five languages between them and have lived in the most amazing places: England, U.S., Ghana, Iran, Bermuda,...
  

And I still haven't seen the Grand Canyon.

What are some of your more interesting moments. Please share - I want to say 'wow' back to you!!

Thoughts for 2007

My friend, Donna from Bermuda *waving*, sent this hilarious email and I just had to share it with the blogosphere (if you haven't already seen it!)

Ten Thoughts for 2007
#10 - Life is sexually transmitted
#9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
#8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 - Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a person how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 - Some people are like a Slinky: Not much good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather: It pays no attention to critisism.
#3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
#2 - In the 60's, people to acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people are taking Prozac to make it normal.
#1 - We know where the one cow with mad-cow disease is located amongst the millions of cows dotting the North American landscape, but haven't got a clue where the illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration and the CIA.

Pirates are finally talking in my head

Yipee - school starts tomorrow!
It's not that I haven't enjoyed having Light (aka older son) home from school, contantly looking to me for amusement, but I have missed the day-to-day routine that accompanies school term. Meanwhile, during the craziness that is Christmas, Sweetness (aka younger son) decided that the holidays were the perfect time to outgrow his afternoon naps. It's been rough going the past few days, but I believe we're over a major hump. Though I cannot, under any circumstances, take him into the car after 4pm or the little minx will fall asleep by the end of our street.
I made the mistake of dashing out to the craft store for model glue with Sweetness at 3:30 today, and after a suspicious silence, noticed his wee head bobbing in the rearview mirror (fellow parents - you know that if I let this child sleep, even for five minutes, he would then be up until midnight!) So I sang, told knock-knock jokes, pointed out fascinating oberservations about anything I could find out the windows: lights, trees, cars and people going by.
I put on a bloody good one-woman show! *ta-da DA*

Starting to make headway with the pirate story - finally. There were too many odd bits floating in the space that is supposed to house my brain. Loose ends that didn't fit, bits and bobs that wouldn't gel. As usual, these things usually begin to weave themselves together about 3am. More again at 4:30am, etc... through a sleepless night. I awoke this morning determined to get the new scene committed to paper. A new opening scene to tie my two central characters together. I scraped what I had before (it was only about 1000 words, so no great loss. My goodness - did I really say that? This time last year I held on tightly to every sentence I wrote and now I'm willing to sacrifice 1000 words!?! I must be growing...), and managed to scrape together about 2,500 NEW words. Ahhh... nothing like starting over. Perhaps I'll sleep tonight!

In other writerly news, I received the contracts from Ellora's Cave this weekend and it renewed my excitement for the next-step - editing. Tomorrow I'll tackle the POV glitch in one of the scenes, and then the real editing begins. The nit-picky stuff that makes both you and your editor want to claw each other's cheeks (not really - but I'm feeling dramatic tonight. Must be the one-woman show thing.)
I also had to come up with a bio. How to make one's self interesting... not as easy as it should be. Of course I chose the tongue-in-cheek approach. What else can one do with an alias?! It's not really me, for heaven's sake...

Wanted: Laptop for the Tim's Drive Thru

I want a laptop!

Guess I should of thought of this last month, before Santa came, but it honestly just occurred to me that I need one.
The desktop PC in my office is so limiting. I actually have to STAY IN ONE PLACE. How 80's!!
I was in our basement rec room with the kids quite alot over the last few days and I was very frustrated because it was totally unproductive time. Sweetness and Light (aka - the sons) are young enough to need close supervision, but they don't need Mommy to actually play with them.
So I read, watch tv, ... but I could be writing, or blogging, or reading ebooks, or researching -- you know, useful stuff.
We have five computers in our house (three are hubby's for work, which I'm not aloud to touch), my son has one in his room for game playing (blame the grandparents!!), so can I possibly justify having ANOTHER? Probably not, but I think of all those words being lost in wasted time.
If I had a laptop, here's where/when I could use it:

• watching kids play in basement
• watching kids while they watch Dora/Diego/Scooby/Einsteins, etc...
• in the kitchen waiting for toast to pop
• in the kitchen waiting for Kraft Dinner water to boil
• in the kitchen waiting for pizza delivery dude
• in the bathroom while kids are splashing in the tub
  
• in bed (!)
• at son's speech therapy
• at son's martial arts class (scratch that -- don't want to miss all the gossip)
• at son's swimming lessons
• waiting at the Tim Hortons drive-thru
  
• can I use it in the bathtub or is that dangerous?
• in the bathroom (oh shut up! Sometimes things take a while!)

That's quite a list, you must agree! But what kind to get? There are so many sales on right now! What brand has an easy/no-stress wireless internet? If I get an Apple ibook, will it be compatible with my PC? What size screen? How much memory?
Oh, forget it... I'm all confused.
What do you use?

Thursday Thirteen #3 - Interesting Things I've Done

Thirteen Interesting Things That Wylie's Done Shark diving in the Bahamas Bar clam fishing in Prince Edward Island Appeared on Young and the Restless (one line, five walk-ons) Got a tattoo Ate dinner with HRH Prince Philip Stayed in a hotel high atop Mt. Pilatus in the Swiss Alps Swam in the Atlantic, Pacific, Caribbean, and *Mediterranean Scuba diving on shipwrecks Got stung by a jellyfish, oh, and fire coral – ouch! Became a Bermudian Partied at the home of Michael Douglas and CZJ Saw, in person: David, Mona Lisa, Venus de Milo and the Sistine Chapel Got published!! *technically, only waded. It was c-c-cold. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



What I LOVE about January & Why I need therapy

My fave thing about the new year? Nothing thrills me more than filling in a fresh calendar. Jotting in playdates, field-trips, school holidays, martial arts, swimming lessons, scheduled writing time, birthdays, etc... all with the same color pen. Perfection.
As the months go by, things are altered, amended, crossed out, added, - usually with a different colored pen which makes the whole thing look messy. Reason enough to want the old year to hurry on by so a new calendar can be cracked. (together now, say: ANAL)
Right - so I filled out my writing schedule for January, beginning the week of the 8th, after Light (aka my son) goes back to school and Sweetness (aka other son) goes to the morning sitter, and I have a few hours to call my own. Herein lies the problem: Tonight, I find myself in front of the computer, children asleep, house quiet, perfect time to write, right? Wrong. It's not on the calendar so I just can't do it. (say it again: ANAL)
I'm surfing, I'm visiting other blogs, reading ebooks, but not writing. Brightside - at least I'm not playing Cake Mania (Grrrr Amy!!).

Thoughts on Reading...
Picked up 'NEXT' by Michael Crichton this afternoon and after reading the prologue and a bit of chapter one, put it down. This isn't good. Michael Crichton (am I spelling his name correctly? Anyone?) is the kind of author that usually keeps me awake nights, devouring the pages, completely sucked in to whatever world he's created. Sadly, this one hasn't grabbed me,... yet. And it's about a topic I would normally be all over! Genetics and bioengineering. Ahhh, science!
Alas, I won't give up hope -- maybe he's off to a slow start, maybe it's just my mood today -- but my nonchalantly dropping the book in mid-sentence on page 18 in order to help my son build a lego space-lander is not a good sign.
So here I find myself, unable to write (and no, I can't add it to the calendar now because I can't find the original pen, and it's only Jan 2nd, so shut up!), unable to read 'NEXT' for fear of another 'put-down' (three put-downs and the book is outta here!), so I popped over to the Ellora's Cave website and ordered up a copy of Kathy's, (ahem... *giggle*) Kate Rothwell's 'Invisible Touch' (written as Summer Devon). Fun read, veeeery steamy, light and humorous with extremely likable characters. I look forward to escaping into more of Kate's stories. Btw, Kate, I love Summer's bio. Girl, you crack me up. I'm gonna steal that whole schtick.

Life's Little Disappointments...
Tim Horton's have stopped providing 'Holiday Spice' flavour shots for their coffees. I AM CRUSHED. Devasted. I am totally hooked on that shite - like a freaking crack addict! They've replaced it with cinnamon, which is so 90's!! I mean, cinnamon for chrissakes!! We used to add a dash of cinnamon to our coffee filters long before REAL flavoured coffee was raging. Sheesh.
And do you notice I'm spelling 'flavour' the Canadian way - with the 'u' - which is a must when discussing the essential Canadian brew.

Postscript: Duh... don't know how to spell Michael Crichton's name and it's on the freaking book cover at the top of the post! I just went back and changed them all from Crieghton to Crichton. Whatever... it's late.

Putting off the resolutions. That can't be good.

I like making New Year's resolutions: new beginnings, clean slate, blah blah blah...
In years past, I'd mulled and made my list by Dec. 28th, -- noon on the 29th at the very latest (I'm a plotter!) ... but this year I've been procrastinating and I'm not sure why. The sooner I make them the sooner I'll fail?
An article** that fellow writer Christine wrote about setting goals inspired me to put my ass in the chair and commit.
*drumroll.........*

Wylie's List of Overly Plotted Goals to Make 2007 The Best Year Ever.

1. DRINK MORE: No, not a typo. I didn't mean to say drink less. I hardly touch the stuff so I vow to have at least 3 glasses of red wine per week thereby forcing myself to destress, and sit down with hubby and enjoy some relaxing time together. And there is that 'health benefit', oui? All those French people can't be wrong! (Important to make measurable goals)
2. QUIT SMOKING: Oops! I don't smoke. That was easy!! (Important to set attainable goals)
3. EXERCISE: I was doing so well with biking and walking in the summer. Then I joined a gym - a brand spanking new gym that was scheduled to open in September - but didn't. Or October. Not in November. Nope again for December.... but it is opening January 8th, finally. Four months of nothingness has taken it's toll. I am a lazy slug. (Important to face reality)
4. WRITE MORE: Rather than the measley 2 mornings per week I'm now doing, I will endeavor to add 2 evening sessions to the writing routine. Hopefully, this will not coincide with wine nights!
5. WRITE TWO NEW CHILDREN'S STORIES: aiming for 2 new sparkling fun stories by the end of June so I can begin the query/submit process this summer.
6. FINISH NOVEL IN PROGRESS: Yeah - that pretty much sums it up. I'm scared to put a date on that one, so I'm giving myself the full year.
7. COMPLETE PIRATE WIP: first draft by Jan. 23rd
8. COMPLETE 'ONE NIGHT AT THE GRAND' SERIES: by end of summer
9. BE KINDER TO MY HUBBY: Sadly, he often gets the brunt of my every mood and being the amazingly wonderful hubby he is, he bears it gladly. ;x (that's a kissy face, isn't it? or is the drunk face?)
10. BE A BETTER FRIEND: Call, write, email, send cards to my friends more often because they mean so much to me.
11. TELL MY KIDS I LOVE THEM EVERY DAY: I do this everyday already - but I never want to forget. And on that note - enjoy spending time with them without stressing about the mess we're likely making. And finally,...
12. STOP PROCRASTINATING!

Hey - I could have added one and saved it for my thursday thirteen!!

Happy New Year! And may you stick to your resolutions like a wet tongue on a frozen pole!

** Christine's article isn't on her blog - sorry! It will appear in the next issue of the Toronto Romance Writers newsletter.

It's Going to my Head...

I've got a new title,... an aristocratic title!

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Noble Excellency Wylie the Fiendish of Midhoop St Giggleswich Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Destiny by Design: Status SOLD!!!! wooooohooooo

JUST this minute got an email from dream editor at dream publisher. Destiny by Design is SOLD and I'm completely out of breath from doing my happy dance around all three floors of the house. *panting*
I'd like to say it was worth the wait, but these past few weeks have been hard. Really hard. I find the waiting game cripples me and I just can't seem to move on to other works. Yes - I can do the children's stories, the TRW newsletter, my course assignments, blogging,... but not the romance. Go figure.
Oh - and the dream publisher, incase anyone was wondering, is Ellora's Cave. Why are they the dream pub? Because they've a stellar reputation and they're recognized by the RWA, which I feel works in my favor when I finally complete my novel (which isn't erotica, but romance). I could be totally wrong, but I think it gives me a bit more credibility as a writer.
This marks my third publication success (two shorts and this novella), so I'm finally beginning to feel like a writer and not so much a wanna-be (nodding to you, TL! *wink*).

101 Posts and Other Random Thoughts

Today is my 101st post. If only I could show this much dedication to my novel...

Blogger hates me today. I've been trying to post my Thursday 13 since this morning and have been encountering serious formatting problems. Okay -- it's probably my fault, but it's so much easier to blame blogger! I originally 13'd about my 2007 resolutions but that dratted blogger (which I privately call 'booger') gave me such a hassle I decided to change up my topic and start again. But this is good. It gives me a whole extra week to think about how I'm going to make '07 ROCK!

I have a cut on the pad of my index finger that makes typing slow and painful. I'm trying to find words that don't require a Y, U, H,J, N, or M (ouch!). This is what happens when you try to manually remove green peppers from a food chopper (doh!).

We had a terrific Christmas, (thanks for asking), -- very spoiled, but very appreciative. Santa brought me a foot spa (ahhhh...), the new Michael Crighton book - 'NEXT', beautiful scented candles, gift certificates galore and... wait for it... drum role.... A GOAT!!!
Thanks World Vision, for setting up an amazing program. I shall shop your catalogue often.

On the down side, we had NO SNOW! Phooey on a green/brown Christmas.
This is Canada, in December, for crissakes! What are we doing to our planet? I haven't yet needed to put the lining in my leather jacket and the kids' tobaggan's aren't even out of storage. Oh well, at least we don't have hurricanes to contend with! And you know I'd be bitching if I had to shovel :)

Thursday Thirteen #2

Thursday Thirteen: My 13 Fave Books The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown – scoff if you must, but 40 million people worldwide can’t be wrong. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood – a story within a story, within a story. Very cool. Cane & Abel by Jeffrey Archer – one of the first ‘grown-up’ books I ever read that left me with a ‘wow, reading is the coolest thing in the world’ feeling. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden – still amazed at how an American male author could get into the head of a 8 year old Japanese girl. That’s talent. Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux – cry every time Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane – complete and total mind-fuck. Makes you want to start again at the beginning. Tie: Bourne Identity and The Parsifal Mosaic by Robert Ludlum – excellent, twisted spy thrillers. RIP Mr. Ludlum, you are missed. Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner—1971 Nobel Prize winning book. I can’t say any more. Tie: The General’s Daughter and The Charm School by Nelson DeMille—but really, anything by DeMille is captivating. These two were just two shining examples. Lord of the Flies by William Golding—stayed with me a long time after reading it. First time I questioned the human psyche and what we’re capable of given the circumstances. Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery—fave childhood books. Harry Potter & the … by JK Rowling—fave childhood books read as an adult. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury—shining example of Bradbury’s talents and my first encounter with the concept of censorship. Makes you think… Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. ThommaLyn 2.Christine 3.Amy


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



Legend of Mistletoe

Merry Christmas!
In the spirit of the holiday season, I'm posting this little legend surrounding the origins of kissing under the mistletoe:

Mystical power of mistletoe and the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe owe itself to the legend of Goddess Frigga and her son Balder. Frigga was the Goddess of Love and her son, Balder, was the God of the Summer Sun. Once, Balder dreamt of his death. He was worried and told his mother about the strange dream. Frigga was worried not only for the life of her son but also for the life on Earth because she knew that without Balder, all life on Earth would come to an end. Thus, she did her utmost to avoid such a mishap and went everywhere and to every being in air, water, fire and earth to extract a promise that they would never harm her son. She was promised safety of her son by every animal and plant under and above the Earth.

However, Loki, the God of Evil, who was the enemy of Balder and always had evil designs in his mind, was aware that there was one plant that Frigga had overlooked. It grew on apple and oak trees and was known as Mistletoe. Thus, Loki made an arrow and placed Mistletoe at its tip. He then beguiled the blind brother of Balder known as Hoder, the God of Winter, and made him shoot this arrow at Balder. Balder immediately was poisoned and died. Everybody was worried as the Earth turned cold and life became dreary. Every creature tried to bring Balder back to life for three days but it was finally Frigga who managed to revive her son with the help of Mistletoe. Her tears on the plant became pearly white berries and she blessed the plant anyone who stands under the mistletoe plant would never be harmed and would be entitled to a kiss as a token of love.

Slow Day

Just not up to speed today. I stayed up past midnight watching the final 3 episodes of Dexter. Cool show! Hubby and I had a Dexter marathon - we watched all 11 episodes in 3 days. Who would figure I'd get totally charmed by a serial killer. The writing is right-on (told you I'm slow), it's well-paced, not too over-the-top (but there are moments) and just sensible enough to make it all seem less grusome than it could/probably should be. I was looking forward to falling into bed, but by the time my head found the pillow, all I could think about was the bloody (no, it's not a pun) season finale cliff hanger.
Heard the clock strike one.
Fell asleep at some point, only to be awoken by a niggly tickle in my throat that had me in coughing fits. Tired as I was, I struggled to the loo for a drink of water and a throat losenge.
Heard the clock strike two.
Sweetness (aka 2 1/2 yr old son) called out for me, "Mommy! Want to come in your bed. Mommy, Mommy, Mommy....."
Desperate to sleep, I pulled him in to bed with me and the little charmer kept putting his drooly little hands on my cheeks and saying "Mommy, my love you, all the world and pussa-world."
Heard the clock stike four.
"Mommy, my love you..."
Okay, it was heart-melting cute the first 17 times, but it grew old and annoying by 4:22am.
Heard the clock strike five.
"Mommy, me go down-tairs."
"Mommy, my love you."
"Mommy, me watch tv."
"My want milk."
Sweetness remained wide awake until just after 6am.
The Alarm (also known as 7 year old son) woke me up at 7:30. "Mom, can I have some chocolate milk?" Grrrr
Who's keeping track? My limited math shows approx 4 hours of sleep. Which is about what I've been getting on average for the past 4 nights.
Very slow day.

Thursday Thirteen #1: Best Television Shows of My Time Dallas – most popular night-time soap, spawned numerous others, and was responsible for the most famous cliffhanger ever – Who Shot JR? House – arguably one of the best characters on television. Dr. House says what we all wish we could: The Truth. Nip/Tuck – enveloping pushing drama that leaves you saying “Did they really just do that/go there?” Terrific acting, deep, well-thought out stories and great cast of characters. The Sopranos – gave life to cable series. Ground breaking, envelope pushing, and all the other clichés. Great writing, great acting, excellent multi-layered story lines. Represents a gritty reality that reality tv could never be! Seinfeld – still laughing at the reruns!! Murphy Brown – in the bleak landscape that sitcomdom was, Murphy was an intelligent breath of fresh air. Jeopardy – the one show with the ability to humble me into silence. And come on, who doesn’t love Alex? Friends – still laughing at the reruns!! ER – it hasn’t been around for 12 seasons for nuthin’ Lost – is there any other show in network television that has us more puzzled, frustrated and buzzing about purgatory, time travel, science experiment, etc. Happy Days – Ah, the days of innocence, Mr. C, The Fonz, Joanie and Chachi. But seriously, we got the term ‘jump the shark’ from this very timeless show. And didn’t we all really wish our own high-school experience would be all about lettermen sweaters and hanging out at Al’s? M*A*S*H* - For the first time, a hard look at life for wartime medics. Funny yet sad, poignant but entertaining. And I really wanted to put the neat asterisks between the letters. Suicide is painless! Star Trek – admittedly, I was never a devoted fan, though I watched the originals as a kid. But no other television series has spawned as many knock-offs, movies, re-make’s, conferences, toys, blah blah blah. That was hard. I left off a few because it’s Thursday 13, not Thursday 17. Notice, I titled it ‘Best TV Shows of MY time’. There were many classics, ground-breakers, etc, I could have added, but these are the ones that I found most entertaining and meaningful. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants



Today's Rant

Today in ‘Things That Irk Me’ I’ll focus on Paris Hilton. Why, dear God, does this woman keep showing up on news sites, entertainment blogs, etc…

Why does her name frequently come up on my ‘Top Three News Stories’ or ‘Most Viewed News Stories’ on my Yahoo news? Isn’t the war in the Iraq/Afghanistan, ethnic cleansing in Darfur, global warming and the Ipswich Ripper exciting enough? Does Paris’s pantyless habits, partying, bad singing and feud with Lindsay Lohan affect the world somehow and I’m just not getting it?

Tina Fey (30 Rock, and former head writer on SNL), who has won my undying respect, should get some headlines for outing the celebutante as the dumb-ass she is:

"She's a piece of sh-t. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close."

Yeah Tina, for telling the truth!! Maybe some of those poor 13 year old Paris-wannabees will listen to the screenplay writer of the hilarious ‘Mean Girls’ movie. We can hope, anyway!

Tina also had this to say about Paris:

"She wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like 'I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her.' She would come in the room and say, 'You should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she's fat.'"

Times like this I'm extremely grateful that I don't have a girl child because if this is the type of roll models they're being offered... *insert shiver* we are f*&ked. Betty Freidan is, I'm sure, turning in her luke-warm grave.

All is right in the world again.

Okay - so Christmas is Monday coming. I'm fine with that now.
See? Takes me a while, but I adjust. ;D
And all is right in the world again. Super-hubby managed to get the gold garland on the tree without interupting the perfect placement of the baubles, and I found my red/gold wire ribbon to adorn the faux-pine garlands on the banister. Ahhhh.... I can relax again and enjoy the holidays.
Wait a minute - the house still needs major cleaning!! Oh, crap. Gotta go...

Who moved Christmas?

I'm in a tizzy. A frazzle. A PICKLED-TRAZZLE!!
For some inexplicable reason, I thought that Christmas was next Thursday.
NOPE -- It's Monday!!
I was counting on my Sweetness-free time (Sweetness, aka son#2, goes to his sitter on Mon/Tues mornings) to run around and do the last minute things - like shopping for Xmas dinner items, stocking stuffers, etc. To paraphrase the freshly departed Frank Romano, "HOLY CRAP!"
I'm a flexible sort of person, but I don't do quick change well. It'll take a couple of hours for my mind to grasp the situation, reschedule my to-do list, wrap my organizational & time-management skills around this self-inflicted SNAFU.
In addition - I forgot to put the garland on the Christmas Tree. It must go on right after the lights because if you do it at the end, you cover all the pretty baubles. My oversite disturbs me to the point that I don't want to even look at the sad, undressed tree (as perfect as it is), but am too lazy to de-ball it in order to apply the gold fuzzy garlands. And I can't find the beautiful ribbon I bought last year to decorate the pine garlands on the banisters. AND, we accidentally used the indoor, thick, studded-with-faux-pinecones garland on the pillar outside which left us with the cheap, thin, fakish, Walmart pine garlands for the banisters. It just looks sad.
Could this get any worse?
Yes, it could. Last year I accidently cooked the turkey upside down. Couldn't figure out why the bloody bird looked so deformed whilst cooking. When I went to slice into the breast, I immediately hit bone and thought I got a Kate Moss turkey!! It eventually dawned on me that I was slicing into the back - hence no meat. I was so embarrassed, it almost ruined my whole day. Luckily, my killer sweet potato casserole (no marshmallows - YUK!) saved the meal.
This year I'm serving ham. There's no top and bottom, is there? Oh hell, maybe I'll order Chinese.

On My Desk

Why can't I get any work done! I sit down at my computer with very good intentions but am not producing ANYTHING. Why? WHY?
The answer came while looking for a paper clip: It's because my desk is a mess. Full of distractions!! How can I open/begin/continue my pirate story when I'm surrounded by all of this junk?!
I'm going to share, then clean. Here it is -- The Things On My Desk:

1. empty Tim Hortons coffee cup (medium double/double with a Holiday Spice flavour shot. Mmmm)
2. empty Diet Pepsi glass
3. bottle of weight reduction vitamins (not working, btw)
4. empty water bottle
5. latest edition of romANTICS to be sent then filed
6. my son's Learn To Skate registration form
7. both sons Social Insurance Number registration forms (dated April 28/06 and still not sent!!)
8. four bills to pay
9. box of birthday cards not yet repacked and put away from last Friday
10. empty tube of Vaseline Intensive Care - Problem Skin Threrapy for chapped, dry hands
11. stack of my kid's game CD's
12. iPod that needs recharging
13. card from Heather that needs replying too (sitting here since October)
14. brown satin bra (took it off last month while writing 'cause the underwire was bothering me and haven't put it away)
15. 8 recipe cards with scribbled notes - quotes, reminders, story ideas, email address, etc...
16. latest bank statement
17. pile of US stamps - fell out of envelope
18. a crumpled napkin containing my breakfast orange peels
19. latest bank statement reminding me how poor I am
20. the gold chain I've been looking for since September
    
21. my cat

What's on YOUR desk?