Catching up, Thinking Blogger torch gets passed...

I've been a bit out of the loop the last few days. I've been lurking, making a quick comment or two, but my heart hasn't been in blogland lately.
Let's catch up, shall we? (cue dramatic music...)

Thanks for all your comments and prayers for my friend's son. Good news - latest cat scan indicates that Owen's brain tumor was excised in its entirety. Bad news - still no clue what caused it as the biopsy results are still pending.

My Sweetness (aka almost-three-year old son) had to undergo a horrible test at the hospital last Friday which I still have trouble thinking about. The poor little munchkin had to be catheterized while me and two nurses held him down. It was awful!! He was crying hysterically, I was fighting tears and the whole thing went on too long. They pumped dye into his little bladder for a series of x-rays, then... I can't even go on.
Emotionally, I'm just all beat up. Poor kiddo is back in diapers cause he's so afraid his 'willy' will hurt. I'm very mad at our doctor for not preparing us for this ordeal. We thought it was an ultrasound, as in No Pain. Had I know it was such an invasive procedure, I would have exhausted all other avenues of diagnosis first. Totally unnecessary...

It get's happier from here, I promise...

It's MAY!! My book, Destiny by Design comes out in 17 days. Yes, I'm counting! Wouldn't you? :) I'm going to be posting the blurb, a few hook lines and an excerpt over the next few weeks and have already decided on a Destiny-themed Thursday Thirteen.

I finished book 24 in the 50 Book Challenge: Margaret Moore's The Duke's Desire.
Yipee! Almost 1/2 way to my goal and I'm slightly ahead of schedule. I've got a Jennifer Crusie to tackle next. This is my first Crusie, so it better be good!

And speaking of books, I just received another installment of Notes & Reflections from Uncle Mike, which I shall post tomorrow.

My wonderful darling husband is creating a new website for me. It's AWESOME! I scrutinized every author website out there looking for components I liked in terms of tone, color, headers, content, rollovers, you name it. Yes, if you have a website, I've examined it thoroughly!
There are some AMAZING examples out there -- author's truly are a creative bunch! The hardest part was capturing the essence of 'me'. It's great to say that Daisy Dexter Dobbs has a fun site, or KJ Howe's is da bomb, but I needed an image, a look, a design that screams WYLIE! And because I haven't really put myself in a tidy little 'niche' box just yet, it was difficult to pinpoint the feel. Having said that, I'm tickled red white and pink with what my DH has come up with. We've still got quite a bit of content to upload, but I hope to debut it within the next 2 weeks.

Finally, I've been terrible to ignore the fact that Susan Helene Gottfried honored me with the Thinking Blogger Award over a week ago and I haven't passed the torch. So here goes, in no particular order:
Thomma Lyn - her writing quotes always stir interesting discussion and make me look at particular aspects of my writing that may not have come front-of-mind unless provoked.

Candy Minx - I don't even know where to begin. This woman is smart, and talented, and creative and inspiring. Her eclectic posts - art, music, television, movies, books, issues - are so thought provoking that I often have to go back and reread them a second time just to absorb it all.

Here are the rules, for you newly tagged folk...
How participation works: If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

(I know I'm supposed to tag five, but I'll start with these two and give some more thought to the others. There are just so many great blogs out there!)

Finally, finally,... If you haven't yet voted in the The Blogger Awards, don't forget I'm up for a Blogitzer and would greatly appreciate your vote. Just click the link and do your thing - THANKS!

Poetry Train Monday

All aboard for another session of Rhian's Poetry Train.
Gots lots on my mind these days (see Saturday's post) and am not in the mood to write new stuff so here's one from my dusty past.
I was rather angry when I wrote it -- in case you couldn't tell ...

LIES

How dare you look me in the face and tell me all those lies

It’s the one thing about you I absolutely despise

You might not think it’s bad

Twisting facts to suit you

But you erode my respect

Shake the foundation

Of our tenuous relation

Look me in the eye

It comes so easy

How much practice have you had

If you though you could hide your dirty tricks

You should have picked a stupider chick

To you they’re little and white

To me their black and oozing

A cancerous growth that eats my soul

You used to have integrity and my respect

Now everything you do, I suspect

My chest squeezes tighter with every one you tell

Because you do it, looking into my eyes

How do you feel inside

What secrets do I harbor

None from you, except my crumbling ardor

copyright P.Watkinson 2006
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gah! Blogger has simply ignored all the formatting!

And I must offer up my apologies -- I've been a bad blog-buddy these past few days... I've been lurking but not commenting.
Hope to be back to my formal chatty self in a few days :(

Promise Me, A Prayer for Owen

Usual preface: I'm NOT a book review site, yada, yada, yada...

Book 23 in the 50 Book Challenge: Harlen Coben's Promise Me

This is the 5th book I've read by Coben. His talent for fast-pace story telling and twisty-turny plot always seems to keep me reading into the wee hours. Promise Me is the latest in the Myron Bolitar series. I'm not crazy about this series because all the characters, aside from Myron, are like charactures -- too extreme, somehow. But whatever, I still enjoy them, just not enought to run out and buy them all. I prefer Coben's single titles; Tell No One is one of my fave suspense reads, EVER.

Bad things/good people:

Yesterday I got some devasting news. My friend's little 2 year old son has a brain tumor. He's being treated at Toronto's Sick Kids Hospital. I would like to ask my buddies in blogland to please say a prayer for Owen Yee. Thanks

Overheard

Sweetness (aka youngest son) has almost mastered THE POTTY. We shopped for big boy underwear today. To encourage him along with his progress, I let him pick out which design he preferred, thinking surely Diego or Scooby Doo would get the honor of adorning his bahookey. But no,... his brothers latest obsession obviously influenced his choice...

Sweetness: "Daddy, look at my big boy underwear!"
My. Wylie: "Oh, wow! What's on the picture?"
Sweetness: "That is Carrots of the Pirabbean!"

Thursday Thirteen #16 - Lost in the Triangle

13 Facts About Bermuda

As many of you already know, I spent almost 18 years living in Bermuda. Just for fun, here are 13 facts about Bermuda:

1. Contrary to popular belief, Bermuda isn't located in the Caribbean, but in the Atlantic Ocean, 940 miles north of Bahamas, 650 miles east of Cape Hatteras. It's 770 miles from New York, 3000 from London, England.
2. Shaped like a giant fish hook, it's only 21 miles long and just over a mile wide at it's widest point, making the whole shebang only 21 square miles total. And it's not just one island! Over 180 islands make up 'The Bermudas', but the nine largest are connected by bridges and causeways to make up the main island.
3. It's considered a sub-tropical island and boasts the northern-most coral reef system in the world. Bermuda has a year-round mild semitropical climate with temperatures ranging from 68 to 84 degrees. Relative humidity 71 to 84 percent. Average annual rainfall is 57.6 inches. Summer water temperatures reach 85 degrees Fahrenheit.
4. The island was named for Juan de Bermudez, a Spanish sailor who first recorded it's existence in the 1503.
5. It was populated in 1609 by British survivors of a shipwreck that was originally bound for the Jamestown Colony in Virginia. Sir George Somers claimed it for Britain and the island was also referred to as Somers Isles.
6. Bermuda is the oldest British Colony and has the second oldest parliamentary democracy in the world.
7. There are no fresh water lakes or rivers on the island. The only source of fresh/drinking water is rain, which is collected on roofs and stored in huge tanks under residential homes. In other words, no basements!
8. Tennis was introduced to the US from Bermuda by an American sportswoman who went on to set up the first US tennis court in Staten Island, NY
9. Bermuda enjoys the highest per capita income in the world (50% higher than the US). According to statistics from June 2003, the average cost of a house was $976,000 USD (speaking from personal experience... it's much higher now!).
10. Bermuda is the oldest British Colony and has the second oldest Parliamentary Democracy (after England) in the world. Bermuda’s legal and legislative bodies are fashioned after Great Britain’s – the custom of wearing wigs and gowns for official occasions is still practiced.
11. Bermuda is mostly famous for three things. The first is the shorts, which were adapted from the British military uniform specifically for the hot climate
12. The second is the iconic pink sand, which gets its color from the crushed coral skeletons of a tiny creature called a formaniferan. Speaking of sand, Horseshoe Beach is considered one of the top ten beaches in the world. And finally...
13. No factsheet about Bermuda would be complete without a mention of the Bermuda Triangle, said to be responsible for mysterious ship wrecks, disappearances and air crashes. The other points of the triangle are Miami, Florida and San Juan, Puerto Rico. As a Bermudian, let me assure you that 'The Triangle' wasn't something that came up often, except by curious tourists. In my 18 years there, I didn't disappear, discover bizarre time portals, or see any strange weather occurrences outside of the expected gales, hurricanes and fan-bloody-tastic sunny days. But what good fodder for my next book!

Join in the fun! Leave your name here:


And please don't forget to vote in the Blogger Awards! I'm up for a Blogitzer!!

Overheard

Overheard at the Kinsons:

Conversation between me and my 86 year old mother:
Her: "I think I'm getting Alzheimers"
Me: "Again?"
Her: "Don't joke. I'm starting to forget things."
Me: "Like what, your car keys? Name your grandchildren in chronological order."
Her: "Don't be silly."
Me: "So what's the problem."
Her: "I was thinking about France's presidential election and I can't remember the name of that woman. I wrote her name out ten times so I wouldn't forget, but now it's not coming to me."

Does anyone else see the humor in this? My sweet old small-town Ukrainian-Canadian mother is upset over forgetting the foreign, unfamiliar sounding names of the candidates in FRANCE??
I'm 40 years old and on my brightest day call my kids by each other's names, forget some important family members birthday and search madly for my car keys.
Without googling, or clicking this link, can you name the candidates in France's election? Go on... I'll give you a cookie if you can name just three of the bunch (I think there's about 11 in total).

I AM AN IDIOT or I Have Better Things To Do

So, I'm trying to be hip, young and with-it (my first mistake) and opened up a My Space account.
Hell on fire, I have absolutely NO idea how to navigate, add music, backgrounds, pictures, nuthin!
It took me 6 - 8 months to finally feel comfortable on blogger, and that's fairly easy.
My Space has me in a complete tailspin!!
I've spent the last few days trying to figure it out but by-God, I declare defeat!
I haven't a clue how to get friends (the 2 legit ones I have I stumbled across, emailed them and they somehow knew what to do, whatever... The other two I have no clue who they are. Some dude named Tom appeared as soon as I hit 'enter' with my info, the other, I have no clue who or what they are.)

If YOU have a MySpace account and want to be my friend, feel free to join yourself to my list,... if you know how :)
http://www.myspace.com/wyliekinson

Oh - and the blog on MySpace? I tried, and finally succeeded after hours of attempts (on my slow laptop) to get my latest blogger post on their as well. Too much trouble for what it was worth!

Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

The usual preface: I'm not a book review site...

Book 22 in the 50 Book Challenge: Barbara Kingsolver's Prodigal Summer

It's another book I've had in my TBR pile for over a year and I'm so glad it finally sifted to the top. Great read. I tried to write my thoughts, but couldn't really do the book justice. When you're writing comments (not a review!!) about a book that sports such rich narrative, it's hard to do it justice. My solution? Cut and paste what HarperAcademic had to say:

Barbara Kingsolver, a writer praised for her "extravagantly gifted
narrative voice" (New York Times Book Review), has created with this novel a
hymn to wildness that celebrates the prodigal spirit of human nature, and of
nature itself.
Prodigal Summer weaves together three stories of human love
within a larger tapestry of lives inhabiting the forested mountains and
struggling small farms of southern Appalachia. At the heart of these intertwined
narratives is a den of coyotes that have recently migrated into the region.
Deanna Wolfe, a reclusive wildlife biologist, watches the forest from her
outpost in an isolated mountain cabin where she is caught off-guard by Eddie
Bondo, a young hunter who comes to invade her most private spaces and confound
her self-assured, solitary life. On a farm several miles down the mountain,
another web of lives unfolds as Lusa Maluf Landowski, a bookish city girl turned
farmer's wife, finds herself unexpectedly marooned in a strange place where she
must declare or lose her attachment to the land. And a few more miles down the
road, a pair of elderly, feuding neighbors tend their respective farms and
wrangle about God, pesticides, and the complexities of a world neither of them
expected.
Over the course of one humid summer, as the urge to procreate
overtakes a green and profligate countryside, these characters find connections
to one another and to the flora and fauna with which they necessarily share a
place. Their discoveries are embedded inside countless intimate lessons of
biology, the realities of small farming, and the final, urgent truth that humans
are only one part of life on earth.
With the richness that characterizes
Barbara Kingsolver's finest work, Prodigal Summer embraces pure thematic
originality and demonstrates a balance of narrative and ideas that only an
accomplished novelist could render so beautifully.

But if I had to sum up this book in a few sentences, I'd say it's like a Merchant & Ivory film: slow paced, not a lot of action, but rich, moving and beautiful.

All Aboard!

Rhian invited us on her poetry train...
Here's one that I wrote a bunch of years ago whilst listening to the third straight day of rain on my Bermuda stone roof. It seems fitting since I'm currently listening to the plink-plonk of rain against my windows, punctuated by the occasional distant rumble-boom of thunder off in the distance.

Waiting for the Sun

(April 2003)

And so it begins

The rhythm of nature

Tap tap tapping at the glass

Smothering me in gray

Reaching in to invade my sunny soul

With cold steel needles

Long tendrils of gloom take hold

Wrapping me in despair

But still I fight

I cling to the memory of a bright sky

That feeds the light of my heart

Hoping to feel the warmth on my face

Before I break under the hypnotic pulse of God

Despite the darkish sentiments, I do love me a good loud thunderstorm! (just not for 3 days)
And we need it now to wash away all the dust and grit left over from the melted snow. We had a fantastic sunny weekend. My tulips are high up out of the ground now, reaching for the sun. I have a smattering of wild purple flowers (?) in my front garden and am gearing up for trip to the nursery for my perennials. Does it sound at all like I know what I'm talking about? Cause really, I don't. What I don't know about gardening could fill a farmer's field.

And while you're sitting at your computer, go see West of Mars for more on aging rockstar Walter. He's got a last name, and I'm guessing he likes perogies!!

And don't miss Thomma Lyn's latest musings about drawing from personal struggles to enrich your fictional characters. Awesome post, TL.

Thinking Blogger Award - Yeah, Me!!

Blog buddy Susan Helene Gottfried honored me with the Thinking Blogger Award - aw shucks. Thanks SHG! - for a recent post I did on the naming of fictional characters.

Here a brief summary of what went down:
I questioned the process of creating fitting names for our fictional characters and asked Susan, specifically, because her characters are musicians, if a rockstar could have an un-cool name like Walter and still be credible (with no offense to any of you Walters out there!)
Susan proved that a rocker can indeed be called Walter, and if you visit her latest post over at West of Mars , you'll see exactly how she's accomplished this amazing feat.
Brilliant, really. We look forward to your novel, Ms Gottfried!

It's now my job to tag 5 blogs that make ME think. This is difficult since so many of my fave blogs make me think. I'd better take a few days to mull this over.
Stay tuned...

When Bad Promos Turn Good

Thursday Thirteeners are an awesome group!

This week was a lot of fun because so many of my visitors were writers/artists and other wonderfully creative people. Not to mention helpful! Thanks so much for your interesting, funny and ingenious suggestions to turn my blank oversized postcards into plausible marketing ideas.
And DESPITE the overwhelming vote in favor of the dildo costume, I think there are better avenues...

I hadn't heard of Postcrossings.com but will check it out -- Thanks Tink.
Many of you mentioned stickers - thanks, I'm going to do just that, and I'm coupling it with Candy Minx's & She's suggestions to drop them off at various coffee shops, small bookstores, etc...
In fact, it turns out that NOT having the backside printed with the blurb will allow me some added creativity! I can actually tailor the message to the specific location - for example - the cards casually left at Starbucks (which is located in our big Chapters book store) may begin with something like this: "Looking for edgy read you won't find on the shelves ..."
Playgroup drop-offs could go something like this: "Need a brief escape from kids and housework..."
Christine had a very interesting idea for a little handwritten teaser on the back. So interesting, I'm not going to say it out loud. I'm keeping it to myself. My little secret. Go find her comment -- shhhhh!
And thanks to everyone who suggested RT and RWA. I think some of our Toronto chapter members are going. I may ask one of them to cart a few dozen along.
I believe Susan Helene Gottfried mentioned passing them out to drunk Leaf fans? LOL!! - but they'd end up as #13 then!!
Rebecca suggested that instead of pasting them onto Nora Robers books at the library, I could slip them into the pages - and it would look like Nora is endorsing me! Isn't that sneaky?? I love it.

YOU ROCK!

** Ed Note: Just for fun, I wanted to add an image of something relevant to this post.
For the LOVE OF GOD, don't ever do a Google image search on the keywords GIANT + DILDO + COSTUME. My eyes, MY EYES!!

Thursday Thirteen #15 - When Promos Go Bad

Note: Blogger is eating my pictures, including a funky TT banner and the postcard in question. See my book cover in right side-bar for visual...

Today's Thursday Thirteen is inspired by my own d'oh! moment. I ordered postcards featuring the cover of my upcoming release, Destiny by Design thinking it would be a MARVELOUS marketing tool. You agree, don'tcha??
Of course, being a frugal-minded penniless writer, I didn't have the blurb printed on the back thinking I could easily do it on my home printer, thereby saving myself $23.50.

Problem - the postcard stock is too thick for my printer. Let's say it together: D'OH!

Second issue - who the hell am I going to send them to?? The book is digital, so it's not like I can mail them to local bookstores. ALL my friends are on-line and will be sent promos prior to the May 18th release so,.... all together again, double D'OH!

Thanks, Rebecca, for giving me the idea to come up with alternative uses for useless promo material:

13 Alternative Uses for 100 Hot, Sexy Postcards

1. Wallpaper my office
2. Airdrop over convent
3. Don a giant dildo costume and hand out to passersby
4. Summer's coming -- spread and commense fanning
5. Or when I can't find a dustpan
   
6. One big freakin' house of cards
7. Add a few staples and make a Destiny by Design haute couture gown
8. Bottom of the cat litter box
9. Photoshop "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter - SPRAY!" and leave it on grocery shelves
10. Give to a senior's home to be used in lieu of heart medication (it's bound to get the tickers beating!)
11. Add a santa hat and use them as Christmas cards
12. Tape onto the front cover of all the Nora Robert's books at the library (better order more!)
    
13. Honey! We're out of toilet paper...

What would you do?

Leave your suggestion in comments and I'll post the winner here tomorrow. The prize? A copy of Destiny by Design, of course, with a personally autographed postcard :)

Don't forget to leave your name:

Looking for a good read?

You're in for a treat at CrowWoman's blog today. She's featuring a whole whack of just released and coming soon books, and there's is LOTS of buzz about these gems. (Yes, Destiny By Design is in there too - WOOT!) But the buzz to which I refer is for the works of Annie Dean, Emily Veinglory, Lauren Dane, Jaci Burton, etc... Go check it out and start compiling a 'MUST GET' list!

And THANK YOU to everyone who's voted for me in the Blogger's Choice Awards! If you haven't done so yet, please please do (yes, that's me begging... I'm so pathetic).

and now VOTE for ME!

And now, I'VE been nominated for a Blogizter in the Blogger Choice Awards! Thanks TL. Good thing we can vote for each other, eh?
VOTE FOR WYLIE'S WORDS and Tennessee Text Wrestling and West of Mars, etc...

Such an honor to be nominated. I'm going to buy a new gown for the ceremonies.
What do you MEAN there's no ceremony? I already have a date!

VOTE VOTE VOTE

Our own Thomma Lyn's Tennessee Text Wrestling has been nominated for a Blogger's Choice Award!! Go vote for her and tell all your friends to do the same.

Susan Helene Gottfried's West of Mars is also nominated!! Congrats Susan!!

Hopefully, this link should take you to the voting page: Blogger's Choice Award
but if it doesn't, go to http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com and do a search either through the categories on the left sidebar (both of them are under The Blogitzer), or do a search in the top window for thommalyn.blogspot

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* WOO HOO~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
TL!!

The Birth House by Ami McKay

The usual preface: I'm not a book review site. If you want honest, nice, snark or a rating, go see Smart Bitches, Mrs. Giggles, Dear Author, Karen Scott, Romance Divas, etc...

Book 21 in the 50 Book Challenge:

The last page in Ami McKay's The Birth House was turned at 2AM yesterday morning. Yes, I'm tired, but the few hours of lost sleep was worth it. The story is a snapshot of life in Scots Bay, Nova Scotia in the years before, during and after WWI. The central theme, I would say, is about the friendship of women, how we provide strength, knowledge and companionship to each other during good times and bad, and how we inevitably band together as sisters when our ways are threatened. Goodness, I just read that sentence back and I haven't really done the story any justice. Dora Rare, the protaginist, is trained as a midwife/healer in a time when science and medicine are becoming popular. Many begin to distrust her methods thanks to a pushy doctor who blames all the ills of women on hysteria and neurosis. Actual medical journals are excerpted (is that even a word?). It's amazing to me, in light of their disgusting misinformation, that more men weren't murdered in their sleep back in those days. How our female ancestors put up with the ignorance of the male species (and accompanying crap!) for so long amazes me. Honestly, it's a bloody wonder we're not a race of cloned lesbians...

But I digress.

I liked this book. It's full of raw emotion, the sadness and joys of being a woman, the struggle of our foremothers, the forebearance of the human race. It reminded me a little of Anita Diamant's The Red Tent.

But... the entire time, I couldn't help but compare it to Ann Marie MacDonald's award winning book Fall on Your Knees, which was also set in Eastern Canada in the early 1900's, but was superior in story and writing. The Birth House was a good book, Fall On Your Knees was a GREAT book. Had I been aware of the similarities, I wouldn't have read them so close together because I don't think I was able to give The Birth House a fair shake.

Seriously, don't read my upcoming book Destiny By Design after a pulizer winning novel, okay?? Perhaps I'll distribute copies of 'The Book So Awful It Shall Not Be Named' to everyone on May 15th, just so mine will look like a literary gem in comparison.

Go buy The Birth House.

On Writing ~ What's in a Name?

Hubby and I were having a convo about marketing recently and he suggested I run a contest and the winner's name becomes that of the hero/heroine in my next book.
No, I said too quickly. A secondary character maybe, but a main character, no way.
But, says he, it would be a far more attractive prize to have your name attached to the mains (or something to that effect...)
Absolutely not! Won't happen. A main character's name is far too important to the story. What if it doesn't fit?
He couldn't understand this - Your a writer... It's all imagination anyway, was his argument.
I insisted this was a ridiculous notion because I don't name my main characters, they name themselves!

I wasn't exaggerating. My characters are alive in my head. They have names of their own, voices of their own and to change their names would betray them as characters. I didn't name Ellis, the heroine in Destiny by Design. To be honest, I don't even really like the name. Especially for a girl. But that was her name, it suits her personality and try as I might (and I did!), no other name would do her justice. I did give her a last name, Strathmore, and I'm not sure I nailed it. I should have gone with my gut and gave her a good ethnic sounding name.
Meanwhile, the villainess, Cynthia Travers, named herself as well. I felt kind of bad about this because I have a cousin named Cindy and she's a charming, lovely woman. Aw hell, let's be honest here... I have issues with her going back to her perfect, shiny childhood.
Oh, shit! Did I write that out loud?

I've had a novel wip kicking around for years (and I do mean YEARS). One of my nastier characters is called David. This poses a wee problem in that my brother-in-law is named David, but I'd never want him or anyone else to think that my bad guy is based on my him. Get me? Cause he's soooo not. My David has lived in my head far longer than the sil-bil marriage.
But the fact that my dear bil is a bit of a tool doesn't help, either.
Oops, there I go again!

My question for fellow writers: Does anyone get this or are y'all backing slowly away from your computer. Before you delete me from your blogroll, please tell me -- do your characters name themselves, too? Do you just pick them based on what's-hot-at-the-moment-as-long-as-its-not-Britney-or-Paris?
Amy Ruttan, are any of your heroes named Gerard, by any chance :) ??
Susan, how do you know a good rock-star name when you hear one? Does it have to sound modern or radical, or can a rockin' drummer be named Walter?

Come on y'all -- spill your secrets for coming up with perfect names...


PS *** Am I violating copyright laws by posting that comic? I found it floating on the web...***

Thursday Thirteen #14

We interrupt this regularly scheduled feature for actual story writing...

But please leave your link and I'll be sure to visit yours Thursday Thirteen!

Until next week,

Wylie

On Writing ~ Plotter or Pantser

There's no doubt about it, I'm a plotter.
The new short story I'm working on, Elements of Attraction (don't get too attached -- it'll probably change) had to be completely mapped out before I could write a word. Well, that's not exactly true...
I wrote about 1000 words before I scrapped it and went back the drawing board. Literally.

I now have a 3,000 word detailed outline for a 13,ooo-ish word piece and I'm tickled beyond pink. With the chaps laid out in front of me, I can see where and how to add a dose of sexual tension, appropriate foreshadowing, a hint of spooky things-to-come, and (this is important according to author Molly O'Keefe in her recent TRW workshop) leave questions in the readers mind at crucial points to make them want to keep reading. I know it seems obvious, but I never thought about it in those terms before... the dropping of proverbial breadcrumbs.

I even worked out an actual timeline complete with names of ancestors, birth and death dates. (I've done this before, but not nearly in as much detail or thought, because of impatience to just get on with the story!) Most of these details won't even be mentioned in the actual story, but it helps me wrap my head around the characters because events from 100 years ago effect their actions so it was important for me to commit it all to ink.

This morning I sat down to work on chapter one (I'll go back and work on the trashed prologue later) and managed to squeeze out 1,500 words. This is good for me (I'm no Christine!!) as I usually struggle to push out 500 words in a session. And normally, I write by scene, not by chapter. I don't think I've started at the beginning before!
Now, if only I could come up with a good ending. That's always a challenging bit.

What works for you?

A Clean Car Drives Better

My car has been dirty for 2 years.
Of course, I exaggerate... slightly.

I'm terribly claustrophobic and the the thought of being trapped in my car at a drive-thru car wash raises my heartbeat to dangerous levels. Seriously... panic attack inducing.
So what's a girl to do when she's tired of endlessly nagging her darling hubby, whose own excuses run to 'lineups are too long' to 'not perfect weather conditions'?
Drive a dirty car. Or at least that was my problem until someone kindly turned this doofus (yes, Rhi, I am a doofus too) on to the DIY CARWASH. I had no idea!! Before you mock me mercilessly, remember if you please, that I spent too many years in water-starved Bermuda (Spend precious drops of water on your car? Think not!) where pressurized water from hoses for 2 bucks just did not exist.
Since my enlightment three weeks ago, I've been to the DIY no less than 8 times (seriously, I've lost count, but I should add, I have two vehicles), have my favorite bay (#1 has the best colored suds foam) and have gotten my pre-rinse, foam-wash, rinse, wax routine down to 2 twoonie cycles from 3. (foreigners: a twoonie is a two dollar coin).
For a twoonie, I get to hold a hose that ingeniously pivots from the ceiling, press gently on the trigger and WHOOSH, feel the power!! *insert manly Tim Allen grunt* I love it! Then I race around my minivan like a woman possessed with the washy brush which spews a rainbow of candy colored foam - cotton candy pink, minty green, blueberry blue - in under 2 minutes (who needs a gym?) Is it hot in here or is just me?
Obsessed? Yes, but I'm making up for two years of filth. Now if only I could catch an obsession for housework.... yawn

Ironically, my folks owned a car wash when I was a kidlet. Not a drive thru, per se, they weren't invented yet. This was a full service, get out of your car while a team of foreigners with green rags polish it inside and out in under 10 minutes kind of car wash. Perhaps it's in my blood?

Supersonic Car Wash ~ A Clean Car Drives Better.
My mother still has a few sheets of the old letterhead stationery, some 35 years later...

Nora's Blue Smoke

The usual preface: I'm not a book review site. If you want honest, nice, snark or ratings, go see Smart Bitches, Mrs. Giggles, Dear Author, Bam, Romance Divas, etc...

Just turned the last page of Nora Robert's Blue Smoke. I've had this book on my shelf for over a year but it kept getting bumped in favor of newer, borrowed or 'hot'. I'm glad I finally got to it. Nora (La Nora, Queen Nora or whatever you'd like to call this prolific author) has written a lot (A LOT) of books. Some are not my cup of tea, others strike just the perfect note. Blue Smoke was in the latter group. Excellent blend of suspense and romance, a sweet family saga mixed with a smokin' hot plot. I like books that offers a little education. La Nora scattered just the right amount of fire facts, police/arson investigative procedure and criminal psychology in this novel to fill a few of my empty brain cells. I highly recommend this one.

That was book 20 in the 50 book challenge.

BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Vicky and Mr. Vicky, who will be welcoming a wee one in 6 or so months time. Another reader will be born!

Check out the HOT, SEXY, BUY-ME cover for
Destiny by Design
coming out May 18th...

The Jackpot has been won! But not by me...

I'm as poor today as I was yesterday...

It sure was fun to dream of spending all that money. Two people ended up splitting the almost 39 million dollar jackpot.
(Note to the lottery gods: I would have been happy splitting it three, even four ways!)

Thanks for all your great comments TTers -- Lots of laughs!

Thursday Thirteen #13 - Winning the Lottery

The jackpot in tonight's Canada 649 Lottery has reached $38,000,000!! Besides do one hell of a happy dance, these are the:

13 Things I Would Do With My Lottery Winnings

1. Set up trust funds for my children and an untouchable retirement account for us (because we're bound to do something stupid with our money)
   
2. Pay for post-secondary education for my niece and nephews, with a substantial 'graduation' bonus
3. Gift 'dream holidays' to extended family members
4. Buy a couple of acres of lakefront property and built a fabulous, but cozy, cottage so we can spend lazy relaxing summers
5. Take hubby and sons on a cruise and then to Disney World
6. Donate generously to my five fave charities
7. Hire a housekeeper and cook
   
8. Install a home gym complete with personal trainer who makes me exercise daily
   
9. Buy a bigger house so that my mom could come and live with us
10. Set up a scholarship in my late father's name
11. Treat my girlfriends to dinner and a show,... in New York, baby!
12. Rent a villa in France so that I can do research for a novel I've had kicking around for awhile but can't do much with because a large chunk of it takes place in France...
13. Set up a Good People Foundation. This is complicated, but it goes something like this: I've crossed paths with some really awesome people in my 29 years (ahem) on this earth. I'd like to give them something - a monetary award, a trip, a car, a house... but when you gift something to someone, they inevitably feel obligated or grateful. Your relationship changes. I wouldn't want that, so I'd set up a bogus foundation and these people would think they won their prize never knowing it was really from me.

What would YOU do with your lottery winnings?

Tagged: Life Balance Meme

I was tagged by Laughing Muse (thanks!) to share my secrets on balancing life. So here goes:

How do you achieve balance in your life? I don't. I'm a mess. I'm either neglecting my writing for my kids, my husband for my writing, or my sleep for all three. And going to the gym is always at the bottom.

What is your biggest challenge in balancing your life? Time. Just not enough of it. But I keep telling myself that things will change. Eventually, there will be time for everything, I just need to be patient and prioritize for the time being. I recently commented to someone that life is all about juggling. If you try to keep all the balls in the air at once, they're going to eventually fall, boinking you on the head on the way down. It's better to let some balls drop and do a really good job with the few in the air. The ones on the floor can be picked up one by one as time allows.

What are your priorities? Kids, hubby, extended family, friends, reading/writing, health, housework. I need to take a page out of Christine's book. She's a wise one, that Christine...

How have your priorities changed over time and why? Absolutely. Before kids, I used to be all about my 'career'. Evenings, weekends, work work work. Imagine all those golden hours I could have been writing! I used to think I was busy before I had children. Ha!

My kids are an absolute priority now. And I'm glad! I waited a long time for them and I'm not an 'at home' mom for nothing. These precious years are fleeting. Before long, my youngest will start school and I'll have all day to create worlds in my head. Or read, go to the gym, do housework, get a (paying) job. Oh goodness. I'm stressing my self out already!

What advice can you share to help all of us balance our own lives? I'm probably not the authority on this, however, it's seems much easier to give advice than to follow one's own, so here goes:

Determine what is important -- decide what must to be done now and what can conceivably wait (yes, I know we all want to do 'it' now! We are the NOW generation!!). Once priorities are established and you only have enough on your plate that you can realistically deal with at one time give each 100% effort. Assess often.

I'm tagging Thomma Lyn and Amy 'cause she doesn't have enough on her plate ;)

Dark Lover

Finished Dark Lover, the first book in JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Having read books 2, 3 & 4 already, I knew the characters and the whys and wherefores of their 'world', but it was nice to know the details of the backstory hinted at in the later books.
The fact that I read this book over a 24 hour period should sum up my addiction to these vamps! I'm still trying to come to terms with what about these books appeals to me so much. Any thoughts?

For those keeping track, this was book 19 in the 50 Book Challenge!

Overheard

Overheard at the Wylie Kinson household today:

Sweetness (aka almost-3 year old boy):

"Mommy? Where you get those big boobs? Who put them there?"

Me: *speechless*

My Visual DNA

Hell, everyone else is doing it...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Blue Shoes and Happiness

Alexander McCall Smith has a knack for interesting titles. I read The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency about three years back and became an instant fan of the charming series about 'traditionally built' Mma Ramotswe and her adventures in Botswana. Back to the titles -- there are now 8 books in the series, with names like Tears of the Giraffe, Morality for Beautiful Girls, The Full Cupboard of Life, The Kalahari Typing School for Men, In the Company of Cheerful Ladies, and of course, Blue Shoes and Happiness, book 7 in the series. I've found that the titles don't represent the theme of the book nor are they in particular reference to Mma's Ramotswe's pending case. Relevant, yes, but most are derived from a comment or a minor instance in the book. But aren't they catchy?? Certainly better than Tales of a Botswana Detective: The Missing American, or The Doctor's Bad Twin.
If you haven't read No. 1 Ladies, I highly recommend it. In fact, I highly recommend the first four of the series. The writing is uncomplicated and straight forward, mostly from Mma R's point of view (though there is considerable head-hopping, it's done well), and though the stories revolve around her detective agency, there's no high drama, action or suspense. They are gentle stories, interesting reflections about life on the edge of the Kalahari Desert whose main character reflects on her cases by sitting under acacia trees and staring at the sky, who relies on the wisdom of her late father, Obed Ramotswe, and traditional Botswana manners and rules of ettiquette to navigate the sticky situations brought to her. And despite how boring I'm probably making this sound, it quite simply isn't. The characters are so well drawn, such a delight to meet and spend time with... You won't lose sleep trying keep up with the pace of writing, but you'll be smiling from beginning to end.
I've recommended only the first four books in the series because they are the best, or course. Like any new relationship, getting to know the characters and how they affect one another is the most interesting part. Books 5, 6 &7, (I haven't read #8 yet) are a bit like visiting an old aunt: You feel obligated to keep in touch, know you're going to get a cup of tea and piece of cake, but nothing new is really happening. Still, you're glad you visited because it was familiar and comfortable.

I've got JR Ward's Dark Lover on the table beside me and I'm trying desperately NOT to pick it up so I can spend time with my kids today, maybe get some writing done tonight and go to bed at a decent hour. Once that book gets cracked, life will be put on hold 'til it's finished.

Thursday Thirteeners ROCK and New Books for the Pile

First off, I'd like to thank all of you who visited my TT this week and give a shout-out back to y'all for the FANtastic TT topics. Belly laughs galore, book recommendations, some great facts about sex (thanks Rose!) and a marvelous art survey (Candy - blogger at my response! I'm so sorry!! And it was really long so I'm not repeating it *grrrrrr*) I have been meaning to add my fave TTer's to my sidebar this week (sort of based on Shelley's idea of Love Links) but just haven't gotten around to it yet...
Why, you ask??

Potty training. Yes, my Sweetness (aka 2 3/4 yr old son) has finally deemed himself 'ready to be a big boy' -- (he's been fighting me for a while on this!) -- so the little white potty has taken up residence in our family room. Right next to the magazine rack. Like father, like son.

Went on a book buying spree at Costco the other day because apparently, I don't have enough books in my TBR pile (the sarcasm is practically pooling at my feet). My acquisitions:
Blue Shoes and Happiness by Andrew McCall Smith (part of the #1 Ladies Detective Agency series)
Promise Me by Harlen Coben
The Birth House by Ami McKay, and
The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory.
I've been looking for the first book in JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series and both Chapters and Coles were out, so today I dragged #1 son to the used bookstore and voila -- there it was. Of course, now I have to hurry and finish Blue Shoes... so I can get back to the uber-macho-vamps. I'm so pathetic...

Thursday Thirteen #12 - Feeding the Living

Following on from last weeks 13 People I'd Invite to Dinner in the Dead or Historical Category...
Here are the

13 LIVING People I'd Invite To Dinner

1. Bono - musician turned humanitarian, he's got a passion for the less fortunate that is truly admirable. Of course, I'd also make him perform a few numbers from The Joshua Tree while I'm cooking.
2. Jeff Bezos - the founder/owner/president of Amazon.com. The guy responsible for having best-sellers delivered to my door at a reasonable price deserves to break bread at my place. And he just seems like a really nice, funny, normal guy.
3. Steve Jobs - the founder/creator/god of Apple Computers. He's invited so Mr. Wylie has someone to talk to while I'm sandwiched between #8 and #12.
4. Richard Branson - British entrepreneur best known for his Virgin empire, which consists of over 200 companies, including Virgin Records, Virgin Atlantic Airlines and Virgin Publishing (who's line Black Lace published my first short story). He's a risk-taker, innovator, family man and all-round cool cat.
5. Angelina Jolie - makin' up for all the ugly at the table. I know people either love her or hate her, but she's doing a lot of good in the world so she's welcome in my kitchen. Her and Bono would serve as perfect reminders that we should all appreciate the bountiful, extravagant feast on the table. And we'd all be a couple bucks poorer for the massive checks to the ONE Foundation. Money well spent!
   
6. Ann Coulter - the ONLY reason she's there is so I could bitch slap her and make her eat cold porridge at the kiddy table.
7. Nelson DeMille - author. I've read every one of his books and I'd just like to get into his head for a view hours. It's not that his writing is brilliant in a literary sense, but his subject matter, plots and characters always hook me. I could easily have had 13 authors on this list, but am purposely limiting myself in order to make this a well-rounded group.
8. Brad Pitt - yes, my reasons are completely shallow. He's only invited for his hotness and he'd have to stay late to help me with dishes. Wearing only his undies. During dinner, he'd be seated next to me while Ang sits at the other end of the table with Bono and Hugo.
   
9. Margaret Atwood - multi-award winning Canadian author. It's been said she's 'difficult' (whatever that means), but hell, I love her books and maybe if I seat her close enough to me, some of her brilliance may rub off. And if she does get 'difficult' during dinner, I'll put her with Ann.
   
10. Hugo Chavez - controversial president of Venezuela, he evokes both vehement criticism and adulation for reasons that are vast and complicated. If you're not familiar with President Chavez, it would behoove you to check him out. He's an important guy on the world stage. (I'd let him throw rice at Ann)
11. Jon Stewart - hell, everyone needs a laugh and he can deliver. He can also bring us up to date on what's what in US politics in a mixed-company-appropriate way. This was a toughy as I'm equally fond of Stephen Colbert, for the same reasons. Or Canada's Rick Mercer who can easily hold court with these guys.
    
12. Daniel Craig - 'nough said.
    
13. Pinkus Zucherman - I don't know much about this fellow, except that he's a world-famous musician and conductor, originally from Israel. I had the pleasure of seeing him play solo violin and conduct a chamber orchestra at the Bermuda Music Festival back in the late 90's. He turned the much over-played "Four Seasons" by Vivaldi into something new, fresh and completely captivating. He'd be our after-dinner entertainment (while Brad and I are, ahem, 'doing the dishes').
    

My guest of honor (I know, I'm cheating) would be Nelson Mandella, who seriously, is in a different league than the others. Wouldn't he have some stories to tell...

Who would YOU add to the guest list? Please leave your suggestions in the comments!

And the winner is...

Congrats to Thomma Lyn for her nomination in the Litty Award!!
Also must give a shout-out to my fellow Toronto Romance Writers whose novels are nominated in the prestigious Golden Heart Contest -- Anna Perrin, Kime Howe and Maureen McGowan. WAY TO GO, LADIES! Best of luck!!

I thieved this cool contest from TL's blog: Splat Designs will award one lucky winner with one of their awesome custom blog templates.

Another down in the 50 Book Challenge

The only good thing to come out of sitting around with a sick little boy this weekend was the chance to read -- albeit uncomfortably, with minimal light and a tingling arm from the pressure of little boy's head. I managed to gobble up a book that's been sitting in my TBR pile since last summer, but kept getting overlooked because of it's length.
(An erotic romance author intimidate by size? WTF?)

Turns out this is one of the best books I've ever read. Right up there with Middlesex by Jeffery Euginides, Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner, and The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields. On par with Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden and The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood.
Okay, -- now I'm just bragging ;)

Fall On Your Knees, Ann-Marie MacDonald's debut novel (this in and off itself BLOWS me away) is going on my keeper shelf. Her descriptions, characterizations and unique story-telling was nothing less than ... (searching for appropriate word... coming up empty...) beautiful. Just beautiful. Go ye all and buy this book.
And thank you, Mom, for giving it to me.

When I read books like this I end up questioning my own artistic ability. I could never write with such depth and beauty! It's just not in me. These folks are in a whole other league... I'm Sanjaya to their Fantasia. I'm karaoke to their Met.

But hey (I tells myself) there's room in the ocean for whale sharks and sardines, so I guess I'll just keep swimming.

BTW - just noticed that three of the six I books mentioned are by Canadian authors. It's funny -- I don't purposely seek out Canadian authors (though maybe I should?) but it seems a high-percentage of my 'amazing literature' collection are shrouded in the maple leaf. Hmm...

Overheard, On tv, On writing, On kids

Overheard at the Wylie Kinson household:

"My saw a fox!" Sweetness (aka 2yr old boy) informs Light (aka 7 yr old boy) and I upon arriving home one evening.
"A fox? Where, on t.v.?" I ask.
"No, a real fox. It was this big." Sweetness has his hands stretch way out.
"You saw a real fox? Where?"
"On our back deck," Mr. Wylie answers.
"On our back deck." (I'm not bothering to mask my skepticism. Last year, he mistook a skunk for a cat.)
"Yeah. It came right up to the window and looked in."
"Really. And how big was it?" (I'm still not convinced)
"Bout yay big." Mr Wylie has palm 2 1/2 feet off the ground.
"And what did this fox look like?" (I'm thinking dog. Couldn't be a wolf, could it? In the middle of the 'burbs?) "Was it little and red with a bushy tail?"
"Well, it was more brown or gray. But it had a bushy tail." (OMG - a wolf? Wait a minute...)
Says me, "Did it have a black band across its eyes?"
"Yeah, now that you mention..."
"...and black rings around its bushy tail?"
"Well, it was dark,... but yeah, now that you mention, I think it did."
My Bermudian hubby, naive to the fauna of his new Canadian homeland, saw a raccoon, of course! But it couldn't be near the size he indicated!!
Oh, men and their size issues!! *LOL*

One week later: Me, alone, en route to the highway on-ramp, less than a mile from my house.
"Holy shit, look at the size of that gray dog! Looks like a wolf. But with bushy tail? WTF? It's **Loup-Raccoon!"
-------------------------

On television:
Nip/Tuck finally began showing again in Canada. The season wrapped up months ago on the FX network (which we don't get) -- and our national CBC is now showing it. At least they show it all in one go -- no reruns... -- but because of the press it received when Rosie O'Donnell, Brooke Sheilds, etc, made appearances, I feel a bit cheated to know what's coming.
Not sure how I feel about his envelope pushing series. Almost every single episode has me thinking Oh no, they are NOT going there,... they absolutely can't go there... OMG, they're going there! *CRINGE* For clarification, I'm not talking about the surgeries. They show very little blood and guts -- only one scene per show -- and it's tasteful BUT REAL. They edit in actual footage of plastic surgery procedures, fascinating, but g.r.o.s.s.
It never follows the usual story-arc we've become so familiar with in other Hollywood productions, and in terms of subject matter, nothing is sacred. Or taboo. Somehow, all this gives it a realness thats both fascinating and disturbing. Underlying the surface, the message is often so strong, it makes you feel guilty for trying to take the show at face value. The points are subtle, yet uncover the frailties of our society -- thriving on beauty that masks the ugliness beneath...
--------------------------------------

On kids:
Sweetness has been sick all weekend. I could go on a world cruise with the luggage I'm sporting under my eyes...
He's been hallucinating bugs. Crickets in his bed and spiders in his mouth. There's not. We checked. He's had a nasty head-cold since Friday, and today I was treated to 3 bouts of vomiting. My house smells wonderful (go on, close your eyes and imagine). But between bug sightings (we think he's got little floaters in his eyes due to the pressure of the cold) and vomiting (ewww- you can smell it, I know you can) he's a wonderfully happy little boy who, as I write this, is outside riding his bike with his older (and very protective) big brother. I can hear them giggling.
-------------------------------------

On writing:
Nothing. See above.


**In French Canada the legendary loup-garou is a lone werewolf in Quebec lore.

Thursday Thirteen #11 - I see dead people

13 Dead People I'd Invite to Dinner If I Could...

1. Joe Gadowski - my father, who died in 1968 when I was 20 months old. I have so many questions...
2. Jesus - who was he? Son of God or rebel scholar who was hated for bringing to light the blasphemous actions being done in the name of God. Oh, and I'd make him bring the wine.
3. Shakespeare - did he imagine that his tragedies, comedies and dramas would still be relevant, loved and studied 500 years later?
4. Aristotle - yes, he was one of the great thinkers of the human age, but he had some wild and crazy theories about women. I'd love to set him straight...
5. Princess Diana - someone needs to class up the table! But seriously, I would like her to know how her untimely death affected the entire world...
6. Joan of Arc - Did God really speak to her? How did it feel to be so young leading an army?
7. Marilyn Monroe - Did you really kill yourself, or were you offed?
8. Michaelangelo Buonarotti - I'd have him come a couple of hours before dinner to paint my ceiling...
9. Hitler - every good party needs a crazy lunatic. And I'd slap him upside the head really hard for being such a little shit. Then I'd poison his wine...
10. John F. Kennedy Jr - did he intend to someday run for office? Then, I'd give him the opportunity to tell us what was really going on in his marriage. Was he happy? Was C really a druggie? If he could go back and begin all over again, would he choose me instead...
11. Winston Churchill - his wisdom and witty one-liners would be welcomed. I'd seat him across from Hitler so he could kick the little dick's shins under the table and pretend he wasn't doing it.
12. Gandhi - to keep everyone calm when I serve burnt soup. Then he could impart his patience, wisdom and faith in humanity while Jesus makes more wine.
13. Siddhartha (aka Buddha) - same reason as Jesus. I want to know if these men were really qualified for their leadership roles in our spirituality. I want to sort out myth from reality, wisdom from dogma, sarcasm from stupidity.

Leave me a comment telling me who you would add to the guest list!

Beware -- read at your own risk

Warning: Negativity Ahead...

USUALLY, if I don't have anything nice to say, I try not to say it...
but I just read the worst book in the history of publishing!!! (and you know I'm not prone to exaggeration :)
I found jump-out-and-slap-you-across-the-face spelling errors, misplaced modifiers that would make a third grader cringe and formatting issues. The central characters were unlikeable, one-dimensional and contradicted themselves several times. The premise was ridiculously unbelievable, the sub-characters were stereo-typed caricatures, and don't even get me started on the groaningly bad sex scenes -- I skimmed the first few then was driven to skipping them completely!!
So why, you must be asking, did you bother finishing?
I had to! I was compelled to, if only to see if it could indeed get any worse. And you know what? IT DID! The ending was funny in a ha-ha way, it was funny in an 'I don't fucking believe it' way. (And I don't swear often...)

I know so many really good writers who are having a hell of a struggle getting published, then I read this crap and bang my head into the wall. How could any self-respecting publisher/editor accept this garbage, add it to their catalogue and faust it onto an unsuspecting reader?

Here's the thing -- I'm not going to name the book or author because I feel really bad for this person (whose own mother must be the head of the publishing company). But I am adding it to my 50 book challenge because I should get a freaking medal just for turning every pathetically written page.

And now I must find a really good book to help exorcise the 60,000 crappy words floating around in my brain.

Men in tights

Took my oldest boy to Medieval Times yesterday for their dinner show. Wow!

But let's begin with the negative, so I can get it out of my system and finish this post on a positive note: The food was meh, at best. In fact, I'm being generous with a meh. Perhaps bleh is better. They serve chicken, a rib (that's right, a singular rib), half a roasted potato, soup and a piece of garlic bread. No cutlery. All food must be eaten with fingers. I don't object to the gnawing on meat torn from the bone with my fingers, but it must be palatable. This food wasn't. But you know, who cares, because while I was licking my greasy fingers, I was treated to an amazing display...

The show was fabulous, magical and made you feel as if you were shuttled back in time 700 years. For those of you not familiar with this chain-across-US-and-Canada dinner theatre, Medieval Times recreates a good old fashioned tournament, complete with a king, princess, falconry, knights, horses and fighting - not to mention treachery and betrayal!

The horses are incredible. I'm not up on horsey-knowledge, but I believe they use Andalusians - beautiful, delicate looking animals who actually look like they're dancing in the arena. (Hmmm... dancing, prancing -- could it be? Yes!)

The guests (that's us) are assigned seating in color coded bleacher-like seats and you must cheer for the knight who wears those colors. We had the black and white priest/warrior knight -- see photo 1. The tournament begins and the knights prove their skill on horseback with jousting, (that's the only one I know the official name of, so bear with me), spearing a target, catching these ringie things with ribbons attached and flag tossing. There's also a good deal of hand-to-hand combat with two handed swords, short swords, axes, maces, etc... They use real, but dulled, weapons, so you can actually see sparks flying as their swords clang. We cheered, jeered and got totally sucked in! Of course, all the fight sequences are choreographed -- no blood or mortal wounds -- and the victor is pre-determined,...
but how sick am I that I wanted this to be real?

VERY enjoyable show. Initially, I balked at the ticket price (eek!), but having seen what goes into putting this production together, it was completely worth the price, even with the bleh meal.
And did I mention that horse-riding, long-haired muscular men in leather, faux armor, and heavy weaponry are a total turn-on?