Come on in, we're OPEN

Ahhh, the wonderful ritual of a Sunday. Get out of bed, make a large batch of fluffy pancakes and smother them in maple syrup (the real stuff, not the Aunt Jemima crap), take a long hot shower and dress in my Sunday finest. Then it's off to meet the rest of the devotees in the congregation.... at Costco.
Yes, some folk go to church on Sundays; I take my kids (in matching outfits) to retail heaven. It's our ritual and we love it.
Costco opens at 10am sharp and if you're not there on time, (with the goal of getting in and out in an hour) it becomes so swamped with the after-church crowd that heaven turns quickly into hell. One time I overslept and didn't make it to Costco until 11:30. I could barely move my cart, the free-sample ladies couldn't keep up with the demand so I had to forego the ethereal pleasure of tasting the feta & spinach sausage AND the freshly baked short breads, then I was faced with the 25 minute pergatory of a check-out line, with my two and six year old boys (which is its own special form of hell).
So yesterday, with my visiting in-laws in tow, (I had been urging them to get dressed since 9am lest we arrive late and miss the sermon, *ahem*, samples), I made the weekly jaunt with mile long shopping list and applicable coupons. Headed straight to the office supply aisle for batteries (48 Kirkland double A's only $16.00!!!) and noticed an item that caught my eye; an 'OPEN' sign. It was beautiful. The letters were in bright red neon, encircled in a vibrant electric blue oval. I wanted it. I wanted it bad.
I couldn't believe that just anybody, ANYBODY, could waltz in a buy an OPEN sign. Would I have to prove I was a business owner to the check-out clerk? Would the manager come and question my intentions? "What will you do with it?" he/she would ask with furrowed brow. "An OPEN sign bears a significant amount of responsibility. You must turn it on only when you're open and remember to turn it off when you're closed. Do you understand? You mustn't mislead the public with such a powerful device. It's not fair to the general population to advertise OPEN when you are indeed CLOSED."
But alas, I'm not a business owner. Would it cause any harm if I just put it in my living room window and turned it on occassionally? Would people stop their cars and knock on my front door? Would I be obliged to keep my door unlocked?
I could offer tea. I could just listen to people's problems. I could present them with a bill. I could let them browse my eclectic collection of paperbacks. Would it offend them if I first made them take off their shoes?
I'm going to mull this over a bit -- before next Sunday when I'll be forced to look at the enticing OPEN sign once more. Maybe I should call Andy Rooney. He's good with stuff like this.

Small print for a small day.

I'm feeling very small today. Bam reviewed 'Bella Fiore' and was not kind. I truthfully did not expect the review to be THAT bad, but it was scathing and it really hurt my feelings. Foolish, I know. It's one person's opinion, blah blah blah... but quite honestly, I held back the tears and bit my lip til it bled while reading it. So I felt a bit bruised for a few days but in the end, had to admit she was quite correct about a few issues - which I hope to correct in future works. But she called my humour cheesy!! It was written very tongue-in-cheek and I guess it didn't come across that way to her, but...
I shall keep writing, and improving (hopefully).
I did get two favorable reviews from TwoLips and CoffeeTime so why am I dwelling?? The comments I got from Bam's readers were very nice and encouraging, so I thank those sensitive souls very much for their kind words (L.E. Bryce, Kate Rothwell, Jackie Kessler, K.D.), and my new critique partner, TL, who will hopefully slap my fingers for using too many outrageous dialogue tags in future!
On to other things:
Still waiting to hear back from e-publisher re 'The Color of Passion'. Though she stated it would take two to four weeks, that has not stopped me from checking my in-box everytime I pass my computer. I'm having an extra difficult time moving on to my pirate story knowing that TCOP is sitting on her desk!
My in-laws are visiting for the weekend and are shopping like mad. I'm sure the Canadian economy will flourish this quarter. They've bought out half of our mall, Toys R Us, Old Navy, Sears, etc...
Now I'm off to pretend to cook a fabulous meal for my house guests. I'm really going to open a few jars of sauce and call it my own ;D
Shhhh, no telling!

Pull the Trigger or Pass the Valium

There's a gun to my head and I wish she'd just pull the trigger already!!
My latest, 'Bella Fiore', has moved from the 'to be read' column to the 'to be reviewed' column on Bam's (it's not chick porn) book review site. I love reading Bam's reviews and cover snark. She's brutally honest and writes with equal parts sarcasm and candor that only a 20-something can get away with. She appeals to the nasty sarcastic side of me that I don't let out often ;D -- at least not in public.
Anyway - Bam's had my book on her shelf for awhile and I've dreaded this review for sometime now. She's a romance novel junkie, so she's seen it all - aliens, three-somes, m/m, f/f, sweet innocence, hardcore, paranormal, vampires, etc...
I'm nervous because the protagonist in 'Bella Fiore' is a bored housewife that I'm not sure Bam can relate to (or would even want to!).
I'm nervous because she reads everything from Mary Jo Putney to Laurell K Hamilton and next to these two professionals, my writing is like that of a third grader (albeit a sexually active one! bwahahahahah).
I'm nervous because if she slams my book, the immature side of me won't want to visit her site ever again and the mature part of me will miss it dearly!

I want my mommy!

I'm a sad girl today. Put my mom on a plane, back to her hometown, 1000 miles away. She's getting frailer (or should that be "more frail"?) everytime I see her, though she still has more spunk at 86 than half the 40 year olds I know. But for the past few years, everytime we part, I can't help wondering if it's the last time I'll see her. We talk almost every night on the phone and I'm scared to death of losing her, though it's inevitable.
Who will I gossip and shop with, or discuss old movies? Despite her age, my mom knows who's who: Christian Bale, Dan Brown, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Tony Blair, Borat, Wolf Blitzer, Belinda Stronach, Rick Mercer, Kelli Pickler and Eminem. She reads national newspapers, magazines, financial/business books. She doesn't have a university degree and is in awe of professionals, but my mother is sharper than anyone (ANYONE!) I've ever met.
She shares my love of books and we often mail each other our faves - even though it costs more to send than to pick up our own copy at the bookstore! It's nice to know that a person you love and esteem held the same pages, smiled or cried at the same passages and derived the same feelings of hope, joy, sadness or longing when the book was finished.

I want my mommy *sniff*

Good News, Bad News and a Case of Pinot

My Mom is still visiting, but I found a few minutes (between shopping, watching old movies and arguing about my weight) to jot a quick entry.
Update in the life of the wannabe-award-winning-novelist:

1. Got a critique partner, fellow blogger & Chippewa author, T.L. (Yeah!!) *happy dancing while putting on thick skin*
2. Send updated ms for The Color of Passion to epublisher. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed. Waiting patiently with a case of Pinot Grigio. (no, not for celebration... to get me through the next six weeks of waiting).
3. Saw The Prestige, starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine and Scarlett Johanssen. Excellent mind-bender of a movie. If I were Ebert or Roper, my thumbs would be up.
4. Ah, rejection... Nonsuch Beauty was rejected, but in a kind, helpful way. The editor was decent enough to point out my mistakes and tell me what she liked and disliked about the characterization. Comments for which I'm truly grateful. She also said, ahem, "you have an interesting voice". Big happy smile. See, it's not all bad. And as I've stated before, I'm not sure Nonsuch Beauty was ever meant to be published. I think it shall remain in my bottom drawer until such time I can incorporate either the idea or characters into a longer piece.
5. Inspired by T.L.'s latest blog about quotes, am offering one of my favorites ('specially in light of my previous erotic publications!!):

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it."
~ PJ O'Rourke

What's on your nightstand?

Zip a dee do da, zip a dee ay, ...

Just heard from the e-pub editor re my novella:

"I'm pleased to ask for the full manuscript of THE COLOR OF PASSION for further review."

W000-Hoooo and a whoop de do! *dance, dance, dance*

However (yes, there was a 'but'), she wasn't happy with the ending and suggested I change it. And you know what - I am. Frankly, I wasn't convinced it was a good ending either, but I didn't want to make it too 'pat', to 'Hollywood'. But Hollywood is what she wants so Hollywood is what she's going to get.

My mother is in town visiting so I'm officially on 'blog vacation'. (I'll leave the blog-every-day event to you, TL.)

'til November...

Poem - In the Wild

In the Wild
by Wylie Kinson

If you can’t find me, it's because I’m not there
I’ve gone to a wild place
where answers are found like plump grapes on a vine
where someone will tell me what it’s all about
explain the dark mazes of my mind

When you look into my eyes, what do you see
my soul, your dream, our destiny
If I could tell you what lurks in the mists
what monsters or flowers or music exists
where we embrace ourselves in luxury and riches
ride white elephants, and tame wild camels
and eat scones and cream like a social group of bitches.

I find myself in a predicament with no easy explanation
Keep looking
but the promises I give are like dandelion feathers in the wind
I know your fundamental being
You won’t give up on me
Striving
Forever striving for the inhuman state of monolithic morality.

Score card,.... good night

Getting my arm up on the desk to type isn't like having a dagger plunged into my shoulder repeatedly, so I guess it's safe to say the worst of the tendonitis is over. Percocet is evil. I say this on good authority, having been stoned for the better part of 5 days. My state of mind also explains the rather snotty rant I posted on the other day on the banality of television.

In other news. I've decided to keep a running score on my blog regarding my failures/success in writing. An affirmation of sorts, to remind myself that writing is a hard business, but at least I'm trying. So here's the first scorecard (and I must do this quickly before tonights Percocet kicks in):

Published works: two short erotic stories - Bella Fiore, The Cavern in the Green
Rejections: ALL of the children's stories I've ever written/sent (the list is very long)
Completed: The Color of Passion, Nonsuch Beauty
To Market: The Color of Passion, Nonsuch Beauty, one children's story My Scary Pet Snake
Agents: Two queries currently out
WIP: pirate story - 10%, novel 1- 15%, novel 2 - 10%

And so,... um,... z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zz z z z zz z zz zzz zzzz zz z zzz zz zzz zzz zz zzzz zzzzzzz

Studio 60 (Warning: this rant may offend...)

I was shocked to hear that ratings for Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip were poor. I've watched this new NBC show since it's premier last month and having nothing but praise. The story moves along very quickly, the acting is suburb and the writing SUPERIOR - at least next to most drivel on the boob-tube. Apparently - the demographics are wrong; they're missing the 18-35 year old coveted market and are instead getting the 'over 40's.
I find it a sad commentary that we as a nation/s (pointing accusing finger at both US & Canada) continue to give credit to brain-wasting shows like 'The Bachelor', 'Survivor', and 'Two and a Half Men', and that God aweful Tyra Banks show which doesn't deserve to be mentioned, while critically acclaimed, well-written, INTERSTING programs like Studio 60 and Friday Night Lights are facing early cancellation. And why don't the studio execs give these programs more than 2 or 3 weeks to find an audience? Why the rush to hit the delete button.
But here's my biggest peeve: studios purposely put a winner against another network's winner in effort to win the night. Can't NBC be satisfied with winning say... Wednesday and Monday, let CBS have Tuesday and Thursday? I hate that Grey's Anatomy is up against CSI. Who cares who wins? The audience doesn't, that's for sure. This isn't welter-weight boxing-- it's television. Entertain us! Let us have good programs on all the networks!! Stop duking it out and just find the BEST SHOWS for all the time slots. I don't give a toss which network is winning, I'm certainly not loyal to any one network, and I'm positive I won't watch a new program just BECAUSE it airs on a specific network.
Attention studio execs - get over yourselves. Let we-the-viewers have our Grey's AND our CSI. Let us 'sophisticated viewers' continue to watch WELL WRITTEN shows like Studio 60, Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights, and all those other Emmy winning shows y'all cancelled because of poor ratings. Just because they're not in the top 10, doesn't mean they're failures. Just because the 18-35's aren't watching, doesn't mean your advertisers aren't getting theirs money's worth. Hell - us over 40's have a hellava lot more discretionary cash to toss around, so perhaps you need to do your jobs and get better quality, more sophisticated sponsors. YEAH! The *trailer-park residencees might LOVE watching 'Hope and Faith', and the viewer numbers might be out of the park, but that crowd is hardly going to run out and buy the BMW being advertised. Or the expensive brand of cat mooch.
Rant complete. Thank you.
*No disrespect to anyone residing in a trailer park ;D

Oh, Woe is Me...

Calcific tendonitis. Ouch! It sounds painful because it is. And I have it. In my right shoulder. Makes typing, mousing, lifting arm on to desk veeeeery uncomfy. Can't write (much). Mousing with left hand - very awkward. Typing mostly with left hand - very slow.
But the blog must go on...
Saw Mary Jo Putney on Saturday at the Toronto Romance Writers meeting. She was absolutely terrific - great speaker, charasmatic, down to earth, interesting person. I won one of her older books in a raffle (The Bargain) and found myself completely tongue tied when she was autographing it for me. Oh - the things I wanted to say! I had a whole mini-speech in my head about her gift for Regency voice, how her long distinguished career serves as a role-model for us newbies and how I appreciated the opportunity to hear her speak at a 'chapter' meeting... Oh, I wanted to gush! But all that came out was "I really liked 'One Perfect Rose'. And 'The Wild Child'. You write really good. Um - thanks."
OMG - what a moron! I'm supposed to be a writer and I say the most inane, grammatically incorrect drivel EVER! Embarrassed!
'kay - it's taken me almost an hour to left-hand type this and my shoulder is screaming with pain for sitting in such an awkward position.
*swallowing percocet*

"Nonsuch Beauty" - to market, to market!

The manuscript for 'Nonsuch Beauty' was submitted to an e-publisher last night. This means obsessively checking my email for the next 4-6 weeks.
IMO, this is the absolute hardest part of being a writer; sending your hard work, heart-and-soul bared on paper (or in this case, an electronic file) to a stranger. Giving such power (they can make or break your spirit with one form letter) to an anonymous name in cyberspace is incredibly nerve-wracking. You promise yourself that a rejection won't hurt, won't get you down or stop you from writing, but it's a really nasty experience that can potentially throw you for a loop. I recently sent a ms to a good friend to critique and in her reply, she used the word 'ok'. I couldn't get past it. OK?! But 'ok' just isn't good enough! It ruined my day, made my stomach churn every time I thought about it. I wanted her to say it made her cry, that she understood my heroine's pain, completely bought into the emotional fragility of the situation, -- but she used the word 'ok'. Here's the irony - When I read her email again the following day, I realized she didn't use 'ok' to describe the story, but in reply to my nagging her about reading the storyLiked it!? NO!! I wanted her to LOVE it!! - as in "The story - ok!" Then she said she 'liked it'.

Score: two manuscripts out, zero replies.

Dude, please!

Compelled to share this little gem:
I was listening to the news on the radio the other day and the newscaster, reporting on North Korea's latest nuclear hijinx, refers to their fearless leader as Kim Jong TWO, instead of Kim Jong Il. I laughed my ass off. DUH!

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by fellow Chippewa author Jose Bogran (sorry, no accents on the correct letters but I have NO idea how to apply them!)
Anyway - here are the questions I am now obliged to answer before tagging other unsuspecting folk:

1) One book that changed your life: This is REALLY hard because so many books influenced me at different times of my life. Going way back, I have to give props to Carolyn Keene because the Nancy Drew series was the beginning of my love affair with books. The first 'adult' book I ever read was Sydney Sheldon's 'Rage of Angels'. I was about 12 and absolutely fell in love with non-kid lit. There was no going back!
2) One book that you’d read more than once: I read 'Lord of the Rings' (and The Hobbit) when I was a teenager and again as a 30-something adult and I confess they were two profoundly different stories. The symbolism was completely lost on me as a 14 year old! In the romance genre, the only book I ever read twice was Jude Devereaux's 'Knight in Shining Armor'.
3) One book you’d want on a deserted island: Oh, this is easy. I would take the complete unabridged version of Encyclopedia Brittanica. Hmmm... technically, that's more than one book isn't it, but the question is vague so that's my answer and I'm sticking to it.
4) One book that made you laugh: Frank McCourt's 'Angela's Ashes' made me howl with laughter. The part when the boy gets sick after his first communion and is upset because he threw-up God? Hilarious!!
5) One book that made you cry: 'Angela's Ashes' again! Also, 'Knight in Shining Armor', Alex Hailey's 'Roots' and Danielle Steele's 'The Promise' (I read it when I was 16 and it was the first book that ever brought tears to my eyes).
6) One book you wish you’d written: Anything by Margaret Atwood. My God, she is brilliant.
7) One book you wish had never been written: Can't think of one out of any books that I've read. Sure, there are many books out there that stir up controversy, but hey, if you don't like the topic, don't read the book!
8) One book you're currently reading: Just finished Kate Mosse's 'Labyrinth' and Minette Walter's 'The Devil's Feather', so now I'll try *looking at sagging shelf behind me* Reay Tannahill's 'The Seventh Son', or maybe Sarah Dunant's 'In the Company of the Courtesan'. I like to mix up genre's, history vs contemp. etc...
9) One book you’ve been meaning to read: Anne-Marie MacDonald's 'Fall on Your Knees' and Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged' and 'The Fountainhead'. Someday...
10) Tag five people: Of all the busy busy busy people I know, I'm going to tag fellow author - TL, my fab editor at CP - Jana, incredibly hilarious Peter, and mysterious, generous, uber-popular Kay.

Oh - and while you're here - please click the sidebar ads!

Off the Bookshelf

Finished two books over the last week and these are my general thoughts:
Labyrinth by Kate Mosse - it's been compared to The Davinci Code but don't believe it. It's not better or worse, just very different in terms of it's presentation. TDC was so fast paced the reader barely had time to catch a breath. Lab took it's time, switching between two related stories taking place 800 years part. It was much fuller than TDC, but not as much fun. It was historically accurate, which in itself was frightening, because it addressed religious differences -- a disturbing parallel to today's killings 'in the name of God'. I highly recommend Labyrinth, but be prepared to be shocked at our own dark Christian/Catholic history. It's a story that won't leave your head quickly.
The Devil's Feather by Minette Walters - (it just occured to me that both of these authors are British. No deep meaning in this, just an observation.) I've always liked Minette Walters. Her books are classified as mysteries, but she offers a sophisticated level of human psychology, drama, and darkness that puts her far beyond the likes of Agatha Christie or Dick Francis. Her novels don't tend to get wrapped up in a final scene - there are no Hollywood endings, and The Devil's Feather is no different. This can be a wee bit frustrating (hey, who doesn't like the answer sheet?), but Minette Walters respects the intelligence of her audience enough to let us figure out our own conclussions based on the obvious and subtle clues she drops along the way. A very very good read.

Idle Musings, Thanksgiving

Why does Paris Hilton pose for every picture with her pelvis jutted forward? I always feel sorry for whomever she happens to be standing beside for having to put up with Paris's dirty hipbones poking them in the tummy. If it were me, I'd give her a little shove because you know she'd tip right over backwards. ROTFLMAO!!! Ahhh, the images running through my head...
And does anyone really care about Jennifer and Vince breaking up? Really??
And why is perfectly good newsprint wasting space on the supposed-upcoming-any-day-now nuptuals of Tom and his robot bride?
And going back to Paris, do we really need to know where she went clubbing over the weekend? Is this relevant? Is it news? Why do people give her so much attention? Do you think the residents of Paris, France will unite to change the name of their fabulous 'city of lights' to avoid association with that dirty, low-class, untalented chit?
They should.
Can you tell I just caught up on the weekend papers?

Thanksgiving (Canadian style) was an awesome event. We drove way way way up north, about 5 hours, to one of the most beautiful places on this earth. Vibrantly colored trees, mirror-surfaced lakes, craggy rock cuts with veins of quartz and granite glittering in the autumn sun, and the long empty stretches of nothingness reminded me how truly wondrous the Canadian landscape is. Made me wish I was a painter instead of a writer. I would have loved to commit those visions to canvas.

It was our first visit to Widgawa Lodge for Thanksgiving and though we knew our hosts and one other couple, the folks we met made for a truly memorable experience. Our new-found friends included the owner of a chocolate shop (my new bff!) and a gent who is currently running for mayor of his home town (I'd vote for him in a heartbeat!). Amongst the Canadians, there was a Scot, an Irishman, a Bermudian, and an Englishwoman. Though it sounds like the beginning of a joke (and they all walked into a bar...), it was a lovely international gathering of friends and family brought together to give thanks for our good fortune.
Of course, it goes without saying that it was a three-day cocktail hour punctuated with a healthy dose of laughter, games and fresh air (not necessarily in that order).
* Private message - Mel, we did miss you!! *

Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!

This Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving - my third fave holiday of the year. We're driving north to Widgawa Lodge to catch up with some old friends, eat lots of turkey and enjoy many cups of Bermuda Black Rum. I'm hungry thinking about it. The four-plus hour drive to get there, no so excited about. Just hope the children can't outscream the volume of my ipod. (Adding ipod to packing list). The colors are at their best - the maples are showing off their flaming reds and golden oranges - so it should be a scenic delight. Of course, the kids will miss the beauty of nature as they'll likely be staring zombie-like at the DVD player. Ahh, technology.

In writing: Lucy's Island, the short I just completed, has been retitled "Nonsuch Beauty". Puzzled? You won't be once you read the story. Of course, first I have to sell it, then wait for a publishing date, ... In other words, the title will remain a mystery for a good 2 years!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Lucy's Island - FINI !

Just wrote the final paragraph of "Lucy's Island" - finally. This story has been in my head for a looong time and I thought it would flow onto the paper without any problems, very quickly. As I stated in previous blog entries, "Lucy's Island" was supposed to be a short short (that means a really short story - about 3000 words), a simple exercise in dialogue between two people whose relationship is unclear. But ah, not so. The more I got to know these characters, the more I wanted to flesh them out, make them real, explore their backgrounds. I yearned for them to be able to reveal their motivations and inner feelings, something very difficult to do using dialogue alone -- at the risk of sounding contrived and unnatural. After many weeks (ok, months) of tweaking, rewriting and changing the storyline, I ultimately created an 11,000 word monster that I'm not sure has any relevance in the publishing world.
Now I've got to come up with a better title...

Three Books in Five Days... Whew!

Since Monday, I've polished off three Mary Jo Putney novels, leaving the 'books on the shelf' to gather more dust. Why the MJP marathon? I have the priviledge of hearing her speak to the Toronto Romance Writers meeting in two short weeks and having never read her work, would feel quite the fraud sitting amongst her fans. So off I took myself to the library to see what MJP was capable of. (BTW - I would normally go to the bookstore -- used or new -- to buy-to-own, but I didn't want to make the commitment to MJP, just yet, hence the library)
I'm not going to give synopsees (is that a word?), that's what Amazon is for, but I'll tell you this:
The first two I read were good, better than average romances with lots of heart, believable and likeable characters and predictable story archs. I had no regrets about the lack of sleep I was getting. Then I read "One Perfect Rose" and my admiration of Ms Putney skyrocketed. I cried my eyes out for a good number of pages. Great tension and tender, emotionally charged storytelling - wow! Without giving away any secrets, I will say this: I didn't agree with the ending because it was a bit too Hollywood, but I didn't let that one small detail ruin a very good, no - excellent, reading experience. And by some slim chance, should I have the chance to exchange words with MJP at the upcoming meeting, I shall ask her if her editors forced her to take the easy way out!
Or would that be rude?
Get it, read it, enjoy "One Perfect Rose".

As much as I enjoy the romance genre, I've come up for air with Kate Mosse's "Labyrinth". Already one hundred pages in and am having a hard time putting it down. Excellent historical references and compelling characters. Man, I love a good book!!!

Family Jewels

While channel surfing to kill a few minutes before a promised early night to bed, I discovered an absolutely hilarious reality show on A&E. It took me by complete surprise because

1. I try to avoid reality television at all costs (except for Rockstar - damn good performances!!) and
2. the subject of the reality show is a man I would never have pegged for a 'normal' guy.

Incase you haven't guessed, the show is Gene Simmons' Family Jewels starring the 57 year old singer of KISS. I found this ironically amusing because I was introduced to KISS when I was in the sixth grade and instantly fell in love with the painted foursome, whose records were banned by my mother who was quite certain they were Devil Worshippers. But that's exactly why I liked them! They were NEVER seen without their make-up in those days (thank God, because collectively they define fugly), kept their mystery by always being in character and brilliantly allowed the rumors of satanism drive their album sales.
I LOVED KISS. I loved their funky logo that was so easy to doodle on my pencil case and I loved that my mother disapproved of me loving them! I loved Ace Freehly, the Spaceman. (I never got the whole Paul Stanley with the big lips thing - which goes to show how young I was!)
I left KISS fandom behind sometime around 10th grade, when being rebellious meant liking The Clash and anything with the word 'underground'. I just assumed KISS would cease to exist without my loyality. Boy was I wrong! From the brief episode I caught, Gene's fans are still as devoted and freakish as ever.
But the biggest surprise was Gene, the man. He is, dare I say, normal, with teenage kids that roll their eye's at 'old' dad, think his fans are old and take great pleasure in aiding mom in the burning of dad's pleather lace-up pants. After 22 years, he's still with Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed, although not married, and they appear to have a wonderful, honest relationship, complete with the playful frustration and eye-rolling encounters shared by most long-term couples.
This family is the 'Cleavers' compared to the 'Osbournes' (which I only saw once but was quite disgusted!) Their language didn't need censoring and they genuinely seemed to like each other's company. Their daughter Sophie and son Nick were equally engaging, well-mannered, and were never shown with a beer, cigarette, mobster friends, or fighting one another. There was no pink hair, multiple piercings (visible, anyway), freaky clothes or spoiled outbursts.
It was this very 'mundane-ness' that kept me glued to the television. How could the Devil-Himself head this charming family? And he's funny! He thankfully doesn't take himself too seriously and easily plays the fall-guy to his strait family.
A wee bit of me is disappointed. Where's the Beast from my youth? How could he grow up to be a father who loads the dishwasher and plays mini-golf with a fan? That little teensy bit of my rebel youth is crushed!!
On the other hand, it was extremely refreshing to know that under the painted face was just a guy.
My mother would be disappointed...

PS - it's on Monday nights, A&E, 10pm est.

I just found the coolest blog - Post Secret. Contributors anonymously send their deepest, darkest secrets via postcard. New ones appear every Sunday. This is so much better than celebrity gossip! These are real people, with real secrets that they're too afraid to say out loud. Some are so sad, some hilarious, others are down right scary. Thinking of sending in one myself.... "I write erotica and my mother thinks I write children's books" (hee hee)
Check it out - the link is on my sidebar.

My New Love is a Bull, and Click Me

Is all about the Bull
I was having a particularly challenging, sleep deprived week and my dear hubby introduced me to the magic that is Red Bull. Oh Baby, I lurves me the Bull!! With only 80 mg of caffeine (on par with a coffee), what makes the Bull so darn effective? What magic lies within the skinny aluminum can?? It's pleasant tasting, sweet, although I had the sugar free, and there's no bitter aftertaste as with the four cups of coffee I would usually drink to bring myself to alertness. Not even a post-caffeine headache. Wow, I say. Does it come in a bulk pack?
Click, CLICK, CLIIIICK!!!!
I've sold out to commercialism. You'll notice that I've added Google Adsense to my sidebar. Why? I don't know really. Just desperate for the few pennies I may garner by having you click the ads. So here's the deal: I'll try to post fun, witty commentary if you'll promise to click my ads when you visit. I'm saving up for a stick of bubble gum. Please help me reach my goal.

Second Review of Bella Fiore

Second review of Bella Fiore has just come in from CoffeeTime Romance. Here's an excerpt:

A contemporary short story with a refreshing erotic twist written in the first person, seemingly as if the author was talking directly to a best friend about her daily life. Smooth delivery with the erotic touch, and most definitely spicy.

Lisa
Reviewer for Coffee Time Romance

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/BookReviews/Bellafiore.html

THANKS LISA!!

Holy Crap - Did I Write This?

I wrote this little poem a couple of years ago and just dug it out. Upon re-reading I thought, Damn! That's good!

Then I threw my shoulder out trying to pat myself of the back.

Waiting for the Sun
Wylie Kinson, copyright 2003

And so it begins
The rhythm of nature
Tap tap tapping at the glass
Smothering me in gray
Reaching in to invade my sunny soul
With cold steel needles
Long tendrils of gloom take hold
Wrapping me in despair
But still I fight
I cling to the memory of a bright sky
That feeds the light of my heart
Hoping to feel the warmth on my face
Before I break under the hypnotic pulse of God

A funny thing happened on the way ...

... to my profile page. I was going to update my personal info when I realized that I've had 283 views. 283!!!
Who are all of you people? My social circle has not exceeded 8 since I graduated high school, so maybe you're interested in my book/s? So you were expecting a porn site, right? Come on, the lady writes erotica, let's check out her blog for some spicy antics, hot tips for the bedroom, sex toy reviews. So sorry to disappoint!
There are so many erotica websites and blogs, I just knew I couldn't compete. My personal motto is: Anything worth doing is worth doing well, - and just between you, me and the other 282 people, Erotica is not my forte. How I stumbled into literary erotica is a bit of a long winded joke (I'll save it for another day). So the question remains, why have 283 people visited my blog but not left comments? Don't you like what I'm saying? If you disagree, please comment. If you agree, please comment. If you could care less, please comment. If you have suggestions for topics (please), please comment.
Whether I receive feedback or not, I'm gonna continue to blog, ...
but I'd still like to hear from you. Anyone?

Canadians ROCK!

Lucas Rossi from TORONTO, is the new lead singer for SUPERNOVA!

Everyone! Get your hands in the air....
Say yeah, YEAH!, yo, YO! rock, ROCK! and roll, ROLL!!! OH YAAAAAAH!! (playing air guitar)

Sadly, Rockstar is over. Oh how I'll miss the Tuesday night performances! Hate to gloat about being right, but wasn't it little ole me who proclaimed Dilana and Lucas the only rockers worthy of being on stage with the three stooges? And what two rockers were left standing at the end? Yup! I was right (as usual - lol). And second place wasn't bad for Dilana - she was offered the chance to tour with them as an opening act.
So for those keeping score - that's two wins for Canada, zip for the rest of the world.

First Review for Bella Fiore

Well - I'm kinda chuffed this morning... Bella Fiore just had it's first review and here's what Tara M. from TwoLips Reviews had to say:

"I enjoyed Bella Fiore and often found myself wishing there really was a spa like that. Wylie Kinson’s descriptions made me feel like I was really there in the room. It was a quick and easy read. If you’re looking for an entertaining way to spend a half hour I suggest you read Bella Fiore."

Aw, shucks! Thanks Tara M.
http://www.twolipsreviews.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=229&Itemid=36

I'm all giddy inside!

Brad Pitt is at the Toronto Film Festival. Why should this concern me? Because I live 30 minutes north of the Big Smoke and it's the closest I'll ever physically be to the world's most perfect man.

On the Bookshelf

Decided to add a new category to my sidebar, entitled On the Bookshelf because for probably the first time ever, I've got more than just one or two books spilling from the drawers of my nightstand. Usually a quick reader, I practically devour any new releases from my fave authors (Nelson DeMille - I'm waiting!!), but lately I have been caught up in so many other projects, little time is left to stick my nose in a book. But that hasn't stopped me from aquiring, hence the stack continues to grow!
This explains the sense of frustration I felt after reading that horrible intrigue/romance I blogged about yesterday - the really really bad one, which shall not be named. Out of all of the potential on the shelf, I randomly pick what I thought was a sure-fire hit and land a dud. Incidently, I checked out the reviews on Amazon.com and wasn't surprised to see that many other readers of the "New York Times best selling author" were also dreadfully disappointed. Contrary to my inner bitch, this does not please me. I'm embarrassed for the author and ashamed of the editor/publisher.
Let us pray:
Dear Lord,
Should I ever become a best selling author, please bless me with a crack editing team and friends with cajones large enough to tell me when I suck.
AMEN

I want my money back!!

I just read one of the absolute worst books I've ever had the misfortune to read. Six precious hours of my life are gone forever - wasted on bad literature. It's a shame. Normally, if a book isn't doing it for me, I put it down and try to forget about it. In this particular case I just couldn't because it was written by a very well-known, prolific, "New York Times Best Selling" author. Three chapters in I knew it was crap, but didn't want to believe it. I convinced myself that it would, no, had to get better. Alas... it didn't and I feel so cheated! The dialogue was pathetic, the plot atrocious, the characters ridiculous. I found three spelling mistakes - they were so obvious they jumped off the page - and one character's last name changed (for NO apparent reason) from Elizabeth Fargas to Elizabeth Verras within the 300 or so pages. Why? I guess that I, the poor reader, will never know. Or why was one character nicknamed Pitty Pat? They hinted that we would find out, but no-where in the book was this man's nickname mystery revealed. Duh!
The funny thing is, I don't blame the author, I completely blame the editors at Jove Books for releasing such drivel ... even if it came from one of there most famous writers. Someone needed the balls to stand up to Ms Author and say - uh uh. No way. Keep working on it. You can do better.
I want my $10.50 back!!!

CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH . . .

That's the sound of me eating my words.
Rockstar Update: Toby Rand (the Aussie), whom I wrote off AGES ago, just keeps getting better and better every week. He's so hot! He's developed into this powerhouse stage performer and now that he's got the black eyeliner and hair gel working for him, he's looking every bit the part. Me thinks he may be the front-runner!
My fave, Dilana, has had some kind of emotional breakdown. Her voice is still PERFECT in every way and her stage presence awesome - but everytime they show her in a non-performing situation, she sounds like a lunatic with an inferiorty complex. She seriously needs to take a few arrogance lessons from Lukas. Her talent certainly warrants some cockiness - but not stupidity! It's making me so sad...
Storm, baby! - Didn't think you'd last this long but the girl rocks! Her original song was amazing.
My final three - Dilana (I'm still loyal!), Toby and Lucas.

It's the MOST Wonderful Time of the Year!

SKOOL, SCOOL, SKUEL- IT'S ALL COOL!
HOURS left until the first day of school (*tapdances around room*).
School clothes shopping was a marathon event as Jr was making a transition from a 'uniformed environment' to a wear-what-the-hell-you-please school. He'll either be the coolest kid in the class - mostly because his mother is a terrible comparison shopper and bought everything at full price in one of the better establishments - or be a total nerd because everything mom bought coordinated like a magazine layout. Either way, I figure, I've done something wrong, because that's what mothers do; screw-up their children's lives at the earliest possible age. If we didn't, Oprah would be out of a job.

LOTR on stage: I *wanted* to love it . . .

LORD OF THE RINGS
Saw the musical stage production - days before it closed in Toronto to make it's London debut. I'm not even sure what to say about it... I wanted to love it. I loved some of it. I liked most of it. I'm glad I saw it (reasons later), but must ask "What the hell were the producers thinking?" Come on you 'experienced-show-business-people'! You can't put a 9 pound bag of flour into a 3 1/2 pound jar and not make a mess! Did they really think they could take a complex 3-novel series, 9-hour-movie and do it justice by cramming it into a 3 1/2 hour stage production? Even the conversion from book to movie lost a few scenes!
So what we had was an extremely complex, confusing abridgment, set to music. I read the books (twice), saw the triple-feature (a few times) and couldn't figure out how anyone who doesn't share my particular obsession with Tolkien could follow the plot.
Now for the good stuff: The actors were all very talented and did an amazing job despite the confusion, the singing and music was hauntingly lovely -- although there were no songs looping through my head afterwards, like after seeing Les Mis, Rent, Chicago or Phantom.
The sets, OH THE SETS! The scenery was absolutely magnificent. Magical! Fantastical!! My head is still trying to wrap around the complexities of the multi-level rotating stage, the amazing use of lights and 'things' coming down from the sky (my theatre lingo is obviously limited), and how on earth they created the most magical realm of Lothlorien right before my very eyes. It was worth the outrageous ticket price for that alone. The Ents (Treebeard) were favorites, as was Gollum (Smeagol), who ultimately stole the show.
Upon reflection - they should have done a play 'BASED ON' the LOTR, and they probably would have had a hit.
I also wonder why they didn't they do 'The Hobbit' instead? It was shorter book and included almost the same cool characters, a fun adventurous story and would have been a perfect compliment to the LOTR movie. Would someone in Hollywood/Broadway/Rockstar Land, PLEASE read my blog for sound advice from the public? I'm not arrogant enough to think I could run Entertainment-Land, but I'd make a DAMN GOOD CONSULTANT!

What Have I Become? and Tres Funny

When I began blogging, I SWORE that I wouldn't become a once-a-weeker, and here I am - exactly what I didn't want to become. Here's the thing: I had house guests all week and have been too busy to check my email, let alone come up with witty, newsy things to chat to no-one about. But it has been an exciting week!
Good, no GREAT movie:
If you live in Canada, or are Canadian (you lucky bastards), get yourself to the theatre to see 'Bon Cop, Bad Cop'. HILARIOUS! I must admit, I was skeptical going in - I mean, Canada ain't Bollywood - but it was very entertaining, extremely well-acted, and delightful from start to finish. It's 'change your panty-liner funny. It highlights the Canadien/Canadian stereotypes brilliantly, with equal mocking of both sides, makes fun of our unnatural obsession with hockey, - all with an enjoyable plot. The dialogue switches between French and English with subtitles to help the monolinguists. Did you know that the French word 'tabernac' in it's masculine and feminine forms can be used as verb, noun and adjective, much like the English equivalent of 'fuck'? It's discussed in a particularily side-splitted scene while the main characters are trying to shove a very large badguy into a trunk -- sort of reminiscent of the Quarter Pounder/Burger Royale speech in 'Pulp Fiction' -- only better!

Sexy Pirates, Vendetta, and Dilana - don't speak!

Has it really been an entire week since I've blogged? The week has gone by entirely too fast!
In writing ...
Needed a break from "Lucy's Island" so began work on an erotic romance pirate story that will hopefully be included in an anthology (more about this later). The new story is called (tentatively) "The Hawk and the Mouse". Here's the first line: "Sebastian knew he was in hell the moment he stepped through the door; and it was exactly where he wanted to be."
Does it make you want to keep reading?
In movies ...
Saw 'V for Vendetta' and LOVED IT! I'm adding it to my fave movies list. Political drama/thriller, wonderfully executed, well acted. Very poignant, very reflective of the times we live in, though interestingly enough, it was written in the 80's about the Thatcher era in England! Yet it's more relevant in this day and age. The parallels between Bush, terrorism, media, fear-mongering for control, conspiracies... JUST SEE THIS MOVIE. The dialogue (and there is a lot of it) is perfect. I put on the subtitles so I could read along. In a movie such as this, where the dialogue is so rich, so many ideas coming across in an almost poetic cadence, I like to turn on the subtitles so I can follow along reading as well as listening. Must be the avid reader in me, but I find it enhances my experience.
In television ...
Rockstar: Supernova continues to offer spectacular performances. Ryan 'Dark Horse' Star performed an original that was worthy of immediate radio play, although I still don't believe he should front the band. He'd be a terrific solo artist. Toby 'The Thunder from Down Under', did a rockin' job when he got to perform a new Supernova tune. I admit I was skeptical before hearing the SN original ( I wasn't a fan of Metallica, Guns n Roses or Motely Crue), but it proved very enjoyable - even catchy. It was called ... 'something something and Five Other Cliches'.
And my all-time favorite, Dilana, proved to be a coniving, backstabbing bitch, who talked quite nastily about her fellow contestants to reporters. Ohhhhh -- has she blown her chance? Only time will tell! Dave N and the band really gave her a hard time (and rightly so!) -- but she still has better 'Supernova' qualities than any other contestant, so who knows. And loath that I am to say it, I miss Zayra!

True 'First Day of School' Story - Excerpt from "Growing Up Cold"

*Names have been changed to protect the ignorant; derogatory nicknames remain intact.

Growing Up Cold: The Brown Bag Incident or How My Mother Killed Me
The first day of high school is the most important day of your life. Exaggeration? Absolutely not! That life altering day begins with first impressions. Your worthiness is evaluated, scored, and your social standing is chinked into stone by your peers. It is the defining period of your teenage years and thus will impact your future success, who you marry, who you become.
My first day began gloriously. My home-room was full of strangers - people entirely unaware of my nerdy past - and it was located in the coveted Technical Wing, home of shop class, machines, carpentry and electronics. Why was having your homeroom, thus your locker, in the Tech Wing important? For the boys, it meant not having to go far for most of your classes. But for us few and fortunate gals, it meant numerous daily trips to our locker with plenty of opportunity to engage in the age-old sport of Checking-Out Hot Guys.
I had it made!
First period, English; no problem, I could form a decent sentence.
Second period was computer science with Mr. Down*, or as the seniors called him ‘Hands Down’, as he allegedly liked to put his hands on the girls’ bottoms. I must stress ‘allegedly’ as I didn’t witness any shenanigans by Mr. ‘Hands’ Down. For the record, I was not felt up in high-school. By anyone. Not even by aforementioned Hot Guys in the Tech Wing.
Third period science was hosted by a frighteningly stereotypical absentminded professor by the name of Mr. Brumpty*, or as we affectionately called him, Humpty Brumpty. Many ‘kick-me’ signs would be affixed to this poor man’s back over the next four years.
Fourth period, right before lunch, was with Mr. Truelove. We could have had a bloody field day with his name, but he was the school principal so the students collectively, respectfully left his name in tact. Fact was, Mr. Truelove was a really cool guy and a terrific math teacher. Numbers were not my strong suit so I was naturally nervous, but the first 30 minutes in his class were enjoyable. I answered a few questions correctly and made the guy sitting in front of me laugh with a few well-placed sarcastic asides. Half of this stressful day was over and I felt great. Life was good. High school was awesome!
That’s when the knock came.
Mr. Truelove interrupted his lesson to answer the door and I was horrified to see my mother standing there. They exchanged whispers, then a hand-off. Mr. Truelove quietly shut the door and strolled casually to my desk. “Miss Gadowski? It seems you forgot your lunch. Your mother was kind enough to bring it.” Was that a smirk on his face as he handed me the neatly folded brown paper bag? I could feel the stinging heat of a blush creep into my cheeks as I buried the offending package in my knapsack. He knew that he had just witnessed social homicide and could now sit back and watch me struggle for the next four years. He knew he would get plenty of laughs in the staff room at my expense. Sure, kids were mean,... but teachers were meaner. Sadly, the tale doesn’t end there. My murderous mother condemned me to a slow torturous death by packing in that innocent brown paper bag, her famously delicious sausage. Home-made garlic sausage. The waft coming from the depth of my backpack was unbearable. I didn’t need to see the glances, the smirks and the notes being passed to know that I was finished. No party invitations, no dates, no prom. Welcome to high school.

I'm no Ebert, and Mimi, you go girl!

I bought school supplies today and sadly, I was more excited about the process than my second grader. I loved the beginning of the school year when I was a kid! New teacher, new pink eraser, full compliment of Laurentian's (freshly sharpened all equal length!), white running shoes and best of all, new clothes.

And speaking of clothes, I took myself to see "The Devil Wears Prada" this evening. I wasn't expecting much and am happy to report that it was very entertaining. Why were my expectations low? Well, I read the book (ages ago - and loved it!) and Hollywood never seems to do a very good job at cramming a 350 page novel into a 2 hour space. Too many things get sacrificied - entire main themes sometimes - characters, sub-stories, - all just get lost in the translation. "Girl With the Pearl Earring"? They ignored the essence of the main characters' relationship! Not one Stephen King novel has been given justice (ok, maybe Stand By Me - but technically, that was a novella. Oh wait - that one with Kathy Bates was pretty good, too) and none of Ludlum's works have ever come across well. "Bourne Identity" you counter? Come on, the movie barely resembled the book. Yes, I concur, it was a very good movie, but it wasn't the same story as in book. Not even close! They just took the Jason Bourne character and basically made a new adventure for him.
Anyway, while I've been debating myself, I just remembered another exception. "The Constant Gardener" was a fine adaptation.
I really don't argue with myself very well, do I. Not sure which side of my brain won...

Also in movie chatter - I watched "Door in the Floor" with Jeff Bridges (who plays a writer) and Kim Basinger. I vaguely remember it being in theatres last year - maybe the year before.
Excellent movie! Kind of. I wasn't sure if I liked it while I was watching it though it was extrememly thought provoking, in a life-is-shitty-now-deal-with-it sort of way. By morning - after my brain had the night to sift through the obvious and subtle symbolism and metaphors - I decided I liked it very much. Goes without saying that the acting was suberb (!) and it lacked the typical wrapped-up Hollywood ending, sadly but gladly.
The full frontal nudity of Mimi Rogers, I could have done without, but hey - got to give a 48 year old props for bravery! Go rent it. You won't regret it -- especially you authors!!

Yawwwwwwn

Boring weekend - not much to blog about . . .
On writing - tackling first pencil edit of 'Lucy's Island'; still waiting to hear from publisher re 'The Color of Passion'; no work done on novel.
On television - Request to Rockstar: PLEASE stop the insanity and get rid of Zayra. In fact, all contestants can go home and let Dilana take her rightful place as lead singer of Supernova.
Sadly - there's is nothing else on television this summer worth watching. Although... did catch 'The Jane Show' and was pleasantly surprised at the home-grown humour. If there's one thing Canadians do well (very well) it's comedy. Just ask Mike Meyers, Howie Mandel, Jim Carrey, John Candy, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short, Lorne Michaels, . . . you get the picture.
Did see Fantastic Four on the movie channel and couldn't believe how unbelievably crappy it was! Hello!!! Every heard of Spiderman, Superman, Batman?? Comic heroes CAN be made into very successful movies if you get a decent screenplay. The producers should be ashamed of themselves for letting the F4 out of the editing room.
On books - just finished a few Mira books (Harlequin single titles) as part of on-going research into how to write the perfect romance. One was very cute - 'Underfoot' by Leeanne Banks; the other one was called 'Silent Waters' by Jan Coffey. Meh. Tomorrow I'm going to pick up 'Family at Stake' by Molly O'Keefe, which I understand is a very good read!

Blogging for a Flogging, ... and my God, I'm Brilliant!

I could be flogged for this, but I'm bored of summer. I couldn't tell you what the date is. I know it's August, but please don't press me for a number. July was simpler because I was counting down to the release of "Bella Fiore", but August has been a blur of playdates, swimming, shopping for needless things (that's another blog), and bbqs. I know I'll regret these unquestionaly bizarre feelings when there's two feet of snow on the ground and I can't start my car, but for now I say - "Bring on Fall!!!!"
It's not a weather-issue but a state-of-mind-issue. During the year, and by that I mean September thru mid-June, it's all business; but during the summer, my mind feels like it's on holidays. Now this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I have a hard time being productive, and that includes sitting down to serious writing, housework, or any must-do task, especially one with a deadline. I don't enjoy summer cooking (aside from bbq-ing) so sadly have been relying much too heavily (pun intended) on McDonald's and Tim Horton's handy-dandy drive thrus.
But I'm bored already! I long for a routine, for my children to be back on a normal sleeping schedule, school!, piano lessons, karate, my up-coming gym membership kicking-in, and for the hum-drum sameness of Monday to Friday with adventures reserved for weekends. I think the trouble with summer is that everyday feels like an endless Saturday so there's nothing really to look forward to.
EUREEKA! I just had an a-ha moment! Let's face it - the best part of the weekend is Thursday. The 'looking forward' to the weekend and the adventures it promises. On Thursday, you begin anticipating the possiblities, planning, organizing fun things, discussing them with family and friends. My mind has already left the dreary work-week behind and I'm beginning the weekend mentally. So I'm actually enjoying a three day work week and a four-day weekend! My God, I'm brilliant. Or at least I've fooled myself into thinking so...

Humpty Ego had a great fall

... and speaking of contradictions -
My ego was both boosted and bruised this morning. My darling first-born, in response to a fellow six-year-old's comment that his mom works all day but mostly comes home at night, replied "Well, my mom is just a writer."
A Writer! Someone actually thinks of me as A Writer. I've been called A Writer - out loud - in a public place! Okay, so only a handful of second graders were present, but WOW!!! I have the cleverest child IN THE WORLD!!
Hey, wait a darn minute, . . .
"...just a writer." ?? "JUST" ???
C R A S H ! !
The sound of my ego falling off the park bench and scuttling into the nearest crack in the pavement.
I better just get back to my computer.

Big Bad Bikers

Witnessed the oddest thing this morning and feel compelled to share it with the eworld...
I was attempting a left turn from a small side-road when a guy drove by on a huge hog. The motorcycle was big and black, complete with metal studded saddle bags. The beast who drove it could only be described as 'gang'. He wore wrap-around black shades, and his muscular, tattooed arms bulged out from a shredded jean vest -- no tee underneath.
I didn't think much about it; you see all kind of bikers in the summer, right? I pulled out a few cars after he'd passed by but ended up along side of him when I entered the turning lane at the next intersection. I thought I heard, . . . . but no, it couldn't be! I opened my window, just to reassure myself, and OMG! The guy's motorbike was equiped with a stereo and it was blasting out AIR SUPPLY! "Here I ammmm, the one that you love, asking for another day-aaay"
WTF?

Getting Wordier and Wordier

Is that even a word? Wordier??
I've been writing short stories. Not because I view myself as a 'short story' writer, (I do have a couple of novels in the works) but as a way to teach myself the mechanics of writing. Shorts require tight plotlines and prose that moves the story forward. No wasted words, no meandering sub-plots. It's also a good way to learn dialogueing and the use of body language (as a response - in lieu of 'head jumping').
The first short I had published, "Cavern on the Green" was 3000 words. "Bella Fiore" was 5000. I recently finished "The Color of Passion" which supposed to be short, but as you know from previous posts, grew to a barely managable 21,000 words (eeek). The other short I've had brewing, "Lucy's Island" (working title) was supposed to be a short-short. REALLY short. A simple exerise in dialogue. But alas ... my latest word count has it at 8,000! And I'm not finished!! What the heck happened? I'll keep going, with the w.i.p., but probably will need to edit the dickens out of it to bring it back on track.
The problem - I'm letting the characters ramble on - just like I do on this blog!

The Horrors of Marketing

So the book is finally out,...
Now comes the marketing.
I produced some lovely book marks featuring the book cover, website address etc, complete with red tassle. Very hot! And - the best part - I got a mug emblazoned with the book's cover as a holder for the bookmarks!
I dawned a pair of capris, white blouse and short string of pearls (trying to look professional) and off I marched to the local 'adult' store. I approached the two ladies at the desk, said 'good afternoon' with a smile and asked to see the manager. Oops! Perhaps that wasn't the best approach -- I swear I saw her eyes narrow while she struck a defensive pose. I'm sure she was thinking "Oh, lovely - some prissy woman's hubby came in and bought something naughty like black leather crotchless panties and she wants him banned from the store for life," or "hi, my vibrator broke and I want to return it" (YUK!) I'm sure these 'adult' shopclerks see all kinds! I quickly explained that I was a writer (I feel odd saying it aloud!) of erotic stories and would they give my bookmarks away free to their customers. They both eyed me suspiciously.
"I guess you can leave them on the counter," says Manager. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but I think I saw a measure of relief in her response to my benign request.
"What's it about?" the assitant asked.
Gulp. I hate this part!!! "Umm, well, it's an erotic story about a bored housewife who is going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and she,..." OMG! Don't make me do this! I'm blushing furiously by now. I mean, what am I supposed to say? It's erotic for heaven's sake. The woman has sex! Hot monkey sex!! Then Assistant jumps in and says, "Oh, you mean like a Desperate Housewives sort of thing?"
"Well, um... No. It's an erotic story. It's,... an e-book!" I add desperately, like a housewife.
"What's an ebook?" Manager asks, still a bit wary.
Oh oh. Now I have to explain the publishing industry.
"It's a book that people can download onto their computer," I say.
Clearly, I've got to recruit my husband as a spy to visit the 'adult' toy store to see if they're still on the counter. Don't think he'll mind his assignment. Hell, maybe he'll buy me something to inspire my next erotic story . . .

The Contest

The Bella Fiore contest is finished and I'd like to thank all of those who participated. The winners were as follows:
Linda H - copy of Bella Fiore
Susan J - Chippewa Publishing gift certificate
Chris K - Chippewa Publishing gift certificate
Pamela K - copy of Black Lace Anthology: Wicked Words 7
Marianne A - copy of Black Lace Anthology: Wicked Words 7

Happy reading!
~ Wylie

Do Not Adjust Your Set

Decided to go with a smaller font - otherwise it seems to go on, and on, and on ... or is it me?
PS to Rockstar Supernova: CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MORON JUDGES DIDN'T SEND ZAYRA HOME LAST NIGHT!! What the hell are you people thinking? Phil over Zayra??? Oh, I get it ... you want to keep Zayra in for 'weirdo-from-another-planet' factor, don't cha? Lame.

1 More Day - Tra la la la la la!

"Bel-la Fior-e comes out to-morrow! One more da-yee! Tra-la-la-la-la-la!!"
So why am a nervous? How did the butterflies get into my tummy? Perhaps they were in the carton of cookie dough ice cream I at last night?
I wrote Bella Fiore (pronounced bell-a fee-yor-ay in case you didn't know) almost 2 years ago, stuck it in a drawer to marinate, (then a moving box) and didn't look at it again until last summer. I blew off the dust, made a few revisions and sent it off to Chippewa Publishing. They picked it up (yipee!). It was so long ago, I barely remember what the story was about.
Okay ... that was a blatant lie. The editing process was more time consuming than I ever dreamed - and not because it was a crap story (!) but CP demands an ultra-polished result (this is a good thing) - and I got to know the story almost by heart. But the point remains, I wrote it AGES ago. It's old news. I've moved on. So why all of a sudden am I nervous about it's release? I mean, I wrote it to be read, not to line the bottom of a bird-cage. Here's what I came up with:
What if nobody buys it? What if they do buy it and hate it? What if BAM completely anhiliates me? (check out her website - she's viciously funny - link is on the side) What if I get less than three coffee cups from the reviewer at Coffee Time Romance?
I'LL JUST DIE!
Or, ... I'll invent a new alias and just keep on writing.
Because I have to.

Maturity in Reality Shows and Writing

An Open Letter to Rockstar Supernova contestants:
You can all go home except for Dilana, Lukas and maybe Storm, who remain the only three worthy of this competition.
Jill and Toby, while awesome performers, you're done. Dana, Phil, Josh, Ryan, Patrice - you shouldn't even be there, dudes. You can all sing (in some cases, REALLY sing), but you don't belong with those tattooed, hard-living, skank-seeking Supernova boys. Zarya, please take the first shuttle to what ever planet you came from - Earth isn't ready for you yet, and Magni, your misplaced arrogance is truly just that - misplaced. You may be big in Iceland, dude, but Iceland ain't the world.
. . . but even though I've personally narrowed the competition down to three, I've enjoyed almost all of the performances. Each of these contestents have more talent than the entire top twelve American Idol kids put together. They have a sense of maturity, a hardness, an edge, that enhances the emotional impact of their songs.
This same reasoning can be applied to writers. You rarely see 'young' writers on the best seller lists, not because they're not good writers, but it takes a certain amount of living, of emotional experience to be able to fully develop well-rounded characters; to create an emotional depth that readers can relate to.

Waiting Game

Back in June (the 11th to be precise) I blogged about my own stupidity in sending an e-publisher the first three chapters of The Color of Passion at 2:30 AM. By the light of day I inevitably saw a few errors in the copy and cringed at the thought of an editor radar-ing in on my ridiculous mistakes. I pictured said editor throwing back her head in a Cruella Deville cackle whilst touching a match to the corner of my sad little submission. I waited anxiously for the 'Dear Author, Thanks for your recent submission. Unfortunately ...' - you know the rest.
But alas, eight precious weeks dragged by and nothing. NOTHING!
I have a full blown case of carpel tunnel syndrome from obsessively hitting the 'check mail' button on my Yahoo page. As the days drew closer to the red circled number on my calendar, and I still hadn't had a reply, I checked, double-checked and re-checked the e-pub's submission guidelines to make sure that I'd read it correctly: "Initial submissions of a synopsis plus initial chapters are typically answered within eight weeks."
After week nine passed without a peep, I wrote a polite email to the submissions editor asking very kindly if they would check to see if my email with attachments made it through cyberspace and into their hands (secretly hoping it hadn't so I could resend a corrected copy).
Within two hours I had my reply.
It had indeed arrived and this is what she said: " . . . Your submission of The Color of Passion to (XXX Publishing) has been read by our initial editorial reviewer. She felt it showed strong potential and has placed it in queue for an acquiring editor to consider . . . "
YAHOO!!!! Hey - it ain't a sale, but I'll take it!
And thank the Lord above - I can stop checking my email with religious fervor.
Hallelluja.

Count down to fitness

Four more days until the release of Bella Fiore! I feel like a kid counting down the days to summer holidays.

With my smallest child now over two, I'm finally finding a bit of freedom to get on with 'me' things - like bubble baths and pedicures. It's amazing how one's life and personal needs get pushed to the back burner when children come along. I often look at other moms who sport perfect manicures, complete with tiny inset sparkly jewels, and think - How on earth do you change diapers? How do you bathe your baby without scratching him, or build a sand castle, or do finger painting without ruining your nails? I obviously didn't read the 'Maintaining Your $35.00 Manicure' in Parents Magazine. My bad...
So back to me. Yes, with child #2 old enough to be left in occassional care, I decided to join a gym. A brand spanking new, clean, I'll-be-the-first-to-sweat-on-the-equipment gym. It doesn't open until September, but just walking around with my temporary membership card some how makes me feel fitter. And, I have a month to get in some kind of shape so I don't make a complete ass of myself!
The pre-opening membership special included a half-price initiation fee (only $100!) and a free gym bag. Or as my husband pointed out, I just paid $100 for a purple gym bag emblazoned with an advertisement for the new gym. Hmmm....
I can't wait to start!

Bella Fiore Teaser #3

Only TEN more days until Bella Fiore is released. This will be the last excerpt because it's the last 'clean' portion I could extract. The rest is too racy!! Enjoy ~

“Perception is a funny thing,” Boden’s voice came from the darkness. She was no longer beside me, but I could still hear her voice. “Our perceptions have little to do with reality and more to do with our experiences, inner emotions, and outside influences. We all have skewed perceptions of ourselves, but to different degrees. Most women find themselves too fat, too short, too thin, too tall. But what is reality? The reality is you. You are who you are and you must learn to look at yourself with unbiased eyes. You must accept yourself for who you are, not how you compare to others. This hallway will show you different ways to look at yourself but you must find your own reality. Drop your robe and face the wall.”

I did as she told me to do. A yellow light shone down, revealing a distorted reflection in a mirror. I was short, round, and it squashed my features so that my eyes sat almost on my lips. I had no nose, just a thin line where my nostrils were. My hips and thighs spread to the width of the mirror and my feet looked like little round circles. It reminded me of my childhood Weebles dolls. Bathed in the putrid light, my image had a sickly pallor. It was such a perverse image, especially in my nakedness, that I wanted to turn off the light and run away.

Reading, Writing, Television (but not in that order)

On Reading - I just finished a Linda Howard - Killing Time - and thoroughly enjoyed it. Firstly, (is that a real word?) because I picked it up at Costco for $6.00 (what a bargain!!) and found that the lead characters were intersting and had some good old-fashioned chemistry.
I never intended this blog to be a book review site -- there are FAR too many out there to compete with (and who the hell am I to review some other author's baby, who they worked long and hard on, and they were so proud of!) -- so I'll leave it with this: I didn't expect the little plot surprise at all. I'm not talking about the ending, which wasn't really that great, but the little surprise one of the characters springs a few chapters into the book. Granted, I didn't read the back cover so I had no hint, no little clue, no tease ... which is exactly the way I like it. And the sex scenes were pretty hot. Not over-done, which makes them cheesy.
On T.V. - Man, do I miss House. Don't want to wish the summer away, but I really need my fix of the obnoxious doc and the reruns just don't do it for me. And I just heard that the final season of the Sopranos is going to be pushed back due to James Gandolfini's knee surgery. AHHHHH! Come on people! Can't you write the surgery into the damn show??? Have him shot again and film at the hospital? How can you do this to the loyal fans? HOW?!
I weaned myself down to one television show over the summer. Rock Star: Supernova. Most of the talent is excellent, with the exception of a few (hello, Zayra? GO HOME!). But part of me already feels sorry for the winner, because, unlike last year when JD Fortune got the opportunity to front a well-established, very famous band (INXS), the winner of this years competition will have the honour of joining bad-boys Tommy Lee (Motley Crew), Gilby Something (Guns N Roses) and that pasty complexioned guy (Metallica), who are forming a new band called Supernova. So basically, they have no ready-made repertoire and who knows if they'll stay together long enough finish a tour?
I'm not crazy about hard-rock, I prefer a little 'pop'-ier sound, but I do enjoy seeing the contestants perform. I feel obliged to root for the Canadian dude - though he's a bit Eddy Munster. He's freaky to watch, with his gross piercings and purple eye makeup - but he does suit the image of front man for the above mentioned stoners. My money is on Dilana, ... if they have the nerve to hire a woman. She has a wicked voice, though I'd venture to guess that she's been a two pack a day-er since junior high...
On writing - I'm a bit paralysed at the moment, creativity-wise. I'm waiting patiently for Bella Fiore to come out (could it be down to TWELVE more days?) and also waiting for a response for The Color of Passion from ... (I don't want to jinx it). I should hear any day now. I check my email about six times a day. Pathetic!! I feel in my bones that it'll be rejected, but that's okay. Really, it's okay. Or so I keep telling myself. I'll just polish it up and resubmit to another publisher. That first one was only for practice anyway. Or so I keep telling myself ...

The Bump That Ruined My Day

The man in the beat-up white GMC truck who hit me in the Dominion Grocery parking lot and scared the crap out of me and my kids ruined my entire day.
Oh, there wasn't any damage - thankfully, the rubber bumber took the impact, - but it pissed me off that he just drove away! He couldn't have NOT noticed the hit because it jolted my car forward, but he just put the beast in drive without a backward glance. Another kindly soul in the parking lot chased after him yelling 'HEY!', but the old guy just kept on keepin on... The nice man came and asked if we were ok and helped me check out the minivan for damage.
Why am I still so pissed, seven hours later? PMS? Maybe. Thoughtless old men in ancient vehicles who really shouldn't be on the road? Huh-uh. The fact that my kids heard their mother swear like a drunken sailor on a sinking boat? Ya got me!
I feel better for sharing ...

'Bella Fiore' Teaser #2

Here's a second little look-see at 'Bella Fiore' - coming soon from Chippewa Publishing (Lady Aibell Press)

In the centre of a gigantic, airy, and light-filled room was a huge marble bathing pool with a dozen gloriously nude female statues in various poses guarding the perimeter. Four beautifully sculpted travertine fountains fed steaming water into the pool from each corner. Lush green vines dripped from Corinthian pillars that stretched to the skylights above. It was like stepping into an ancient Greco-Roman bath.

There were three other ‘patients’ in the pool, including the two women I had spotted in the lobby earlier. Like me, all were completely naked. Two women, about my age, stood with their backs to me at opposite ends of the pool in knee-deep water. An older woman, mid-sixties I guessed, reclined on the wide marble steps, almost invisible in the misty steam. All were having their bodies washed by topless female attendants, identified only by thin white sashes draped loosely around their hips, barely concealing their privates. The attendants were eerily clone-like. All had slender athletic bodies, no makeup, hair pulled back into topknots. The reclining woman smiled broadly as the attendants washed her feet. I was shocked and curious at this spectacle, but all were oblivious to my presence.

Two attendants appeared—I didn’t see or hear their approach—and led me to the pool. I wanted to ask them what was happening, but was afraid the sound of a human voice would somehow shatter this surreal scene and I’d find myself back home surrounded by dirty laundry.

Excerpt from Bella Fiore - Read & Enjoy
21 more days until its release ...

The knot of anticipation in my belly grows tighter with every mile my shiny red mini-van covers. I thought that after a few weeks, this glorious “I-can’t-wait-to-get-there” feeling would diminish, but thank goodness, it hasn’t! I’m on my way to my monthly ‘appointment’ with my lovers, (that’s right—lovers with an s). It’s all guilt-free and completely sanctioned by my husband. In fact, it was his idea in the first place!
My husband, Michael, is a doctor—a renowned cardiologist. He is both incredibly handsome and profoundly smart, which makes him a bit of a pompous ass at times. Like most wives, I switch between fawning adoration and fantasizing about his untimely gruesome death—sometimes both in the same day.

Countdown is on!

Just 22 more days until Bella Fiore is released by Lady Aibell Press (a division of Chippewa Publishing LLC). I'll post a few excerpts so keep a look out during the next TWENTY-TWO days ...
Don't forget to sign up for the contest (go to my website www. wyliekinson. com) -- there's only 21 days left before the deadline for entries.
appears I'm counting the days, doesn't it? How pathetically desperate is that?!

She was a typical working mother -- exhausted, bored and under appreciated, but her husband, a renowned cardiologist, only took notice when her libido began to fade. Determined to fix things, he sent his wife to a private women’s clinic on a recommendation from a respected colleague.
Just what the doctor ordered…

It’s exclusive, it’s private, it’s mysterious -- but what really goes on at this secret clinic called Bella Fiore? A mousy doctor, two slave girls, and a buff stud teach her that there are three simple steps to happiness: Acceptance, Affirmation, and Affection. It’s through the surprising treatments offered at Bella Fiore that she rediscovers her sexual energy.
Or is the surprise on her husband….

Goodbye Writer's Block, I'm Back!!

Vacation
Ahhh, just what the writer in me needed. A break from blogging, reading blogs, and the internet in general. I had no idea how addicted I was until I was forced to go a week without it! I left on a Saturday afternoon. On Sunday, it was strange, not having my window into the world. I opted to catch a little CNN (thankfully, the resort had cable! Just no internet access!!) On Monday, I was anxious. By Tuesday morning I was frantic. No computer! No instant news! Who's emailed me? What am I missing?! And then something miraculous happened ... by Thursday, I felt released, unfettered, set free! The world was still turning despite the fact I didn't have instant access to my bank balance, wasn't abreast of Paris Hilton's antics and had no idea who Dionne was snarking.
I read four books (get to that later), went for walks, bike rides, beach combing, swimming and blowing bubbles with my kids. I'm now refreshed, rejuvinated and ready to create.
Books
I'm on a journey. I've gone back to reading romances - historical and category. I began my love of books with this genre many years ago (too many years ago), but somehow left them behind. I've been stuck in artsy and literary stuff that is unquestionably good, but takes up a lot of my brain power. I've always said that I can't read and write at the same time (better put: I can't write fiction while in the middle of a good book - I spend all spare time with nose between pages!) but I've found that the 'fluffier' stuff - and I mean absolutely NO DISRESECT to any author of said 'fluffy stuff' - allows me to read AND write. And here's the kicker: I want to write the 'fluffy stuff'. Yes - I aim to be a category romance writer! Oh, who wouldn't want to write like Margaret Atwood or Truman Capote. What writer would turn down a spot on the NY Times list? But that's just not me... I'm writing (and have been writing) shorts in order to learn the craft of storytelling. To learn how to pace, to dialogue, to structure. Next step, a category romance. Who knows, if I ever learn my craft well enough, maybe I will strive to write the next 'Blind Assassin' or 'Angle of Repose'. But quite honestly, I'm not talented enough to write the kind of books I love to read. Does that make sense? In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying getting back to roots with Harlequin Blazes and my Avon historicals. I'm having the cake and eating it, too!

Writer's Block

Have you ever had to hear about someone's back problems? Your eyes glaze over and you nod sympathetically as they go on and on and on, having to listen to every pathetic detail; the accident, the suffering, the medication, the incompetent doctor, ... Meanwhile, you secretly hope a national crisis breaks out (earthquake, tornado, bomb, anything!) just so you can be excused from the pathetic whining.
Then the worst happens. YOUR back goes out. You slip a disc or strain a muscle and end up flat on your own back for six weeks. It's agonizing to go to the bathroom, to lift an arm, to shift your leg. And you just have to talk about it. You want to share your experience, earn some sympathy and understanding from your friends, coworks, or anyone who makes the mistake of asking "How are you?"!!
Karma.
For years I've been reading about writer's block - causes, solutions, creative exercises. Magazine articles, entire books even, about overcoming an author's worst nightmare.
Yada, yada, yada. Just sit down and write, yawns I ...
Then the worst happened. To me! Total brain freeze. For the past two weeks my fingers have been immobile. Creativity turned off. What's happening??
Insomnia, family worries, kids, husband, dieting, lack of exercise, no sex, too much sex: What's causing it?
For the first time ever, I cannot write. No blogging, no shorts, no work on my novel, no poetry - I'm not even READING (which is SO NOT like me!) I can't be tapped out, can I? Kaput? Two shorts published and no more? Writing career over before it even began?
Next week I'm going on vacation and I hope and pray this little bout of brainalysis is finished. Maybe I just need a few days of sun, fun, and good wine.
Wish me luck ...

~ Wylie

Poetry, Songwriting, Getting Emotional

Where have I been - shame on me. I hate it when my fave blog sites remain unchanged for more than a week and I've just violated my own pet peeve. But here's the thing ...

I've been using my creative energy to write poetry. I used to do it quite a bit as a hobby (before my aspirations of becoming a writer). In fact, I have poems dating back to junior high, about the time when those hormones began to kick in! I posted a smattering of them on my website and I can see the childish rhyming of my earlier work develop into the mind-boggling symbolism in the more recent. It's a cathartic experience and I would urge any writer to use the medium to get in touch with their creative soul.
Segway into songwriting ...

What are song lyrics but poems with a chorus? I sent a song to Nashville Music Productions to see what they thought and they put 'Cold On Me' to music. It's a bit too "country" for me (think Tammy Wynette circa 1972) -- I had more Gretchen Wilson/Shania Twain country/pop in mind when I wrote the lyrics, but what the heck. It's got a catchy little chorus that I can't stop singing! It will now go on a compilation CD and get sent to market (fingers crossed).
And finally, a comment on writing ...

I'm currently working on an erotic/romantic short that was meant to be an exercise in dialogue (to hone my skills), of approximately 3000 words. WRONG! It's now 6000 words and I keep having to set it aside because I get all teary and emotional when I write. Is that normal? Lucy, my heroine, is unwed, pregnant and facing an uncertain future and when I write her scenes, I feel as though I'm channelling her. She's alone and terrified and I tear up whenever I try to describe what she's going through. I would love to know if other authors go through this. Not sure I'll be able to finish it!
For now,
~ Wylie

CONTEST - ENTER HERE

To celebrate the upcoming release of my short erotic ebook, Bella Fiore (Chippewa Publishing LLC), I'm holding a contest.
Prizes to be won -
a gift certificate for Chippewa Publishing, free copies of Bella Fiore, and an autographed copy of the Black Lace anthology Wicked Words 7, featuring a Wylie Kinson erotic short entitled Cavern in the Green.

Enter now! Go to www.wyliekinson.com

Must be 18 years or older to enter.

Good Luck!

The Color of Passion, Book Reviews, no more T.V., The Big Bang Theory

The Color of Passion - the beast has grown! I typed 'final draft' (didn't learn my lesson, obviously) when the story reached 21,000 words. Then I stupidly (let me repeat, STUPIDLY!) sent off the first three chapters to an epublishing company. Two days later, I reviewed those same three chapters and almost died - one really obvious continuity issue and a glaring mistake (hair is coiffed, not a quaffed - duh!). WHY, WHY, WHY did I send the submission at two in the morning? WHY, WHY, WHY didn't I wait until morning, when my eyes weren't clouded over and I could reread it again? Because I am an idiot. And idiot with no patience, common sense or aptitude. Shame on me ...
Now I sit and await inevitable rejection.

Book Reviews - I found a really neat site while doing my 'blog' homework (Yes, I truly believe that searching for and reading interesting blogs will enrich my life - and help my own pathetic blog entries. BTW, my time is limited so I traded in housework for blog time. Ask my kids, if you can find them amongst the dust bunnies.) Anyway - I found this site written by a university student (Eng. Lit, I think) who enjoys romance/erotica and gives the funniest, scathing reviews I've ever had the pleasure to read. She is absolutely hilarious in her honesty. She even reviews the cover art. Her site is refreshingly non-pedantic! Check out http://www.dionnegalace.com/books/

NO MORE GOOD TV - part of me is glad, oh so glad, that the great t.v. programs have signed off for the season so I can finally get some work done. On the other hand (thank God we have two hands or life would be so one-sided!) I already miss rushing the kids to bed so I firmly plant my ass on the sofa in time for Lost, House, and Grey's Anatomy (oh Denny - I still miss you!). And with The Sopranos bailing out next week - I've no excuse to not peck away at my keyboard and produce a new book. Or, God forbid, do housework! It would be so easy to get caught up in the drivel they broadcast in the summertime - but I refuse pay homage to big brother's victims or the people who think they can dance. They really should put all reality programs (except for A.I.) on in the summertime only.

The Big Bang Theory - no, not that one. Not THAT one, either! The Big Bang Theory is the working title of my new book - destined to become a novel - (that's more than 60,000 words for those keeping track) about a friendship that turns into love. Sounds boring when put that way, but it'll be sweet, and sexy. I'm already 9,000 in so there's no trashing it now.

Keep reading,
~ Wylie~